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Sarah Palin beams out from the front of the Guardian above speculation about a possible presidential run, a prospect to strike terror among the paper's liberal readership.
The rest of Fleet Street, however, is more interested in a very different comeback by another female politician from the right of the political spectrum.
Anne Widdecombe's appearance on the ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳'s premier celebrity dancing competition is, according to the Daily Mail's Claudia Connell, the sole reason that "anybody will tune into Strictly Come Dancing this year".
Indeed, the prospect of watching the former shadow home secretary cutting a rug intrigued Paper Monitor too, since learning that she apparently informed producers:
His Holiness, one hopes, was rooting for the Roman Catholic convert regardless. Which is more than can be said for Ms Connell, who describes Miss Widdecombe's outfit as "a brave, if slightly unfortunate, purple chiffon number - as wide as she is tall". Meow.
The Daily Telegraph, too, appears oddly affronted by this most Tory of matron's appearance on the programme. The broadsheet devotes page three, no less, to an apparent wave of anger by Strictly fans about the fact that Miss Widdecombe has been paired with dancer Anton Du Beke.
It claims that "³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ message boards have been besieged" with complaints amid suspicions that producers have paired Mr Du Beke with a contestant expected to be voted out early - perhaps, some darkly mutter, because of a 2009 race row in which he was forced to apologise for remarks about his then-dance partner.
TV reviewer Michael Hogan says being partnered with a woman "20 years his senior, over a foot shorter, and, let's say, not a natural mover. As well as a slapped wrist, Du Beke can now expect a bent ear and trodden-on toes".
Paper Monitor is disappointed by the lack of gallantry. So two cheers for Jim Shelley of the Daily Mirror, who - surprisingly, given that paper's political inclination - looks for a victim elsewhere.
"Ballroom dancing with Peter Shilton", he suggests, "sounds like an idea from the same brainstorming meeting that inspired Alan Partridge to come up with Youth Hostelling With Chris Eubank".
Paper Monitor wouldn't knock it. Before reshaping the US political landscape, was the Barracuda herself not the beneficiary of such blue-skies thinking when she was made the 2008 Republican vice-presidential candidate from out of nowhere?
Is this not an example to which Miss Widdecombe must surely look as she bids to win Strictly's own electoral college? You betcha.
15:52 UK time, Friday, 17 September 2010
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