Paper Monitor
13:56 UK time, Friday, 29 April 2011
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Now, Paper Monitor knows there is a very important story today. It must be big news, it's in nearly all the newspapers. It involves a beautiful young woman with glossy dark locks and it all happened in London.
Yes, Danii Minogue had her in an emergency operation. She was doubled up in agony apparently. Poor thing. The Sun gets a very lame gag in its headline: "Dannii tum op agonii". Still, just as well. They don't want to make her laugh too much, not with stitches.
The Daily Mail also features a glossy-haired brunette prominently. It has the from the final instalment of the Harry Potter film series and Daniel Radcliffe is being gripped by a rather funny looking chap. His his hair looks nice though.
The Daily Telegraph devotes a whole full page to a picture of another beautiful brunette. Natalie Portman in an advertisement for Miss Dior perfume.
Obviously, the Daily Star has a dark-haired lovely gracing its pages. It usually has lots of them. This one is called Kate. Doesn't that name sounds familiar? She's in bridal underwear, with a sapphire engagement ring on. Yes, it's Kate Green, 23 and from Northampton. Surely you didn't think!
The 
