³ÉÈËÂÛ̳

After reading Angela's story (Thursday's letters), I did the same. As a mature student, I thought I'd find that there would be little in the way of disparity between the genders in my chosen field (law). Turns out, I couldn't be more wrong. At 44 I can expect to earn £21,000 less than a male counterpart. I think I know which area I'll write my Dissertation on!
Anon

We are told: "It means when the day ends on Kepler-16b, there is a double sunset." But we need to be told what happens when the day begins?

Ralph, Cumbria

Was anyone else disappointed not to get the option "rollerblading" for the missing word question in today's 7 days quiz?
Nicolas, Marseille, France

Accident causes syrup spillage. Are the police are stuck for a solution?
Emma Wilson, Jersey

Another unit of measurement ? (10 things, number 5). Magazine Monitor, you are spoiling us.
Paul Greggor, London

I have to claim resposibility for the anonymous doughnut letter (Thursday's letters) - apparently my details got lost in the ether and I would hate for my kudos entitlement to go the same way.
Basil Long, Nottingham

Re: Friday's quote of the day. As ironic as that time you were given advice on irony but whilst the advice was good you just didn't take it.
Steve, Edinburgh

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A look at the stories ranking highly on various news sites.

asks a popular Vanity Fair article. It's not referring to economic expansion but, instead, about their trains. And the answer, it says, is 820 miles in 288 minutes - between Shanghai and Beijing. For Simon Winchester, who boarded the new high speed train, the quirks of Chinese rail journeys are still there. Over 30 years ago he stepped off his train in China to Roll Out the Barrel being played over the loud speakers for him. While he wasn't welcomed by such a big gesture this time, Winchester was taken by the minute detail of train hostesses training. They were trained to smile a perfect "eight tooth smile" - learnt by placing chopsticks between their teeth.

Children are meant to pick up languages quickly aren't they? That was New York Times correspondent Clifford Levy's assumption when instead of an international school. He'd convinced himself that what his children were doing was "no different from what millions of immigrants in the United States do all the time". But he recalls a painful journey. Eventually the children do pick up the language, eventually being mistaken for natives, which has one definite advantage:

"Foreign residents have long resented how Russian theaters and museums charge foreigners a steep premium. We took great pleasure in sending the kids in to buy our tickets at the cheaper price."

In a well hit Guardian article Marina Hyde is . "Cast your eyes over the spread of nine photos of a heavily false-eyelashed Cheryl looking down the sights of a sniper's rifle, or taking part in a mock raid and so on," Hyde says, "and ask whether they do not, in fact, trivialise life on the front line to a degree that would be hilarious were it not so distasteful." Hyde finds a whole heap of anecdotes about celebrities' forces visits - from Geri Halliwell demanding Soya milk to Myleen Klass's plane becoming a Taliban target.

"Targeted, if you please - as though the evildoers had lain in wait with the specific aim of taking out an erstwhile member of Hear'Say".

It's safe to say she isn't impressed, despite Cole's tailored camouflage outfit.

Occasionally an old news story can mysteriously pop up on a site's most read list. But Time's most popular article really takes the biscuit. The article from 2 May 1955 is . The piece describes a genius with a worldly innocence.

"He once agreed to buy an elevator for his two-story home because 'the man who came to interest me in it - I liked him so much, I could not say no'."

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Snippets from the week's news, sliced, diced and processed for your convenience.

1. A planet can orbit two suns.
More details

2. Women remember men with a deep voice more than those with a high voice.

3. Britons contact friends and family via Facebook an average of 3.2 times a week.

4. Escaped pet parrots can teach wild birds to say phrases learnt from their owners.
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5. The steel used in the construction of the new Westfield shopping mall in Stratford is equivalent to the weight of 80 million medals.

6. New homes in Denmark are 80% bigger than new homes in the UK.
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7. Cavefish can keep time without the sun.

8. Green belts in England cover 13% of total land.
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9. Panda poo can reveal a lot about their sex lives.
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10. Australians have a third choice when describing their gender on passport applications.
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Seen 10 things? . Big thanks to Mal for this week's picture of 10 home-grown tomatoes.

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Winning entries in the Caption Competition.
The competition is now closed.

This week it's New York Fashion Week and a member of the audience arriving for the Blonds Spring 2012 fashion show.

Thanks to all who entered. The prize of a small amount of kudos to the following:

6. MuteJoe:
At the CERN fancy dress party the only person not to be dressed as a Hoggs Boson was Dr. Brian Cox, who'd come as a 1990's electro-pop keyboard player.

5. Valerie Ganne:
And the moral here is that tall models shouldn't walk under ceiling fans.

4. Woundedpride:
Yes, for the fifteenth time, I AM prepared for the digital switchover!

3. Clint75:
New York Fashion Week: The last place you'd expect Gaddafi to be.

2. SkarloeyLine:
America's nest-top model.

1. Rogueslr:
Following unauthorised use of her image, Scarlett Johansson was taking no chances when out shopping.

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A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

It's day two of the fallout over the England rugby team's night out and everything's covered in glorious detail in the Daily Mail and the Sun.

In the Mail, royal correspondent Rebecca English takes charge of a CSI-style piecing together of the scandalous evening of revelry.

She has managed to find one of those "onlookers" that, like "close friends who do not want to be named" and "sources close to the star", seem to be easily corralled even after the event.

Paper Monitor won't name the player at the centre of the story, accused of low-level shenanigans with a woman who was not his wife, but there is some vivid detail from the onlooker.

"They were getting flirty with each other and getting very touchy-feely. Then they went into the doorway, where the girl gestured xxxxxx towards her chest. She pulled his head towards her breasts and she rubbed the back of his head as she did so."

Paper Monitor learns that the word for players' wives and girlfriends in the egg-chasing game is "scrummies".

The bar at the heart of the trouble was called Altitude and the manager has already had to come out and deny that any "dwarf-throwing" went on during the course of the evening.

But the Mail has the following: "Guests can also participate in leprechaun bar wars, and so-called midget-curling, which apparently involves pushing a dwarf along the ground in order to reach a circular target in imitation of the Olympic sport."

Having been ahead of the pack yesterday, the Sun has moved on to some snaps of one of the protagonists bungee jumping.

The Sun has another of those "onlookers" who suggests: "xxxxxx was having the time of his life - he obviously has a clear conscience."

Which instantly makes Paper Monitor think: "Could one bungee jump without a clear conscience?"

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Why was Roald Dahl so dark? Writing in a shed?

Ralph, Cumbria

So I don't know much about the Edinburgh tram project, except that its going to cost £775m. I think it costs £15 to get a taxi from the airport to the city centre (the longest distance I think). Hmm... instead of building the tram you could, at this fare, provide about 14,000 free trips by taxi every day for 10 years in Edinburgh.
Tom Webb, Surbiton, UK

Sorry to burst your bubble "MCK" (Wednesday's Letters), but the sin of typing in capitals is equal to or greater than the sin of misplacing an apostrophe. Forget coats, I'll get my Harts' Rules...
Henri, Sidcup

So, the Guardian's Simon Jenkins says "hypermarkets that encircle almost every English city and town, 'doughnutting' their centres with blight". My doughnuts have a rather delightful jam (or occasionally custard) centre which I certainly don't consider to be a blight.
Anon, UK

Clicked on the student loan repayment guide and thought I'd check what my projected salary would be in my field (business and statistics) at my age (32). Out of curiosity I then ran again but changed the gender. I was shocked to discover that by simply changing to male my projected salary increased by over £10k a year. To those who think there is equality between the sexes now - take note!
Angela, Norwich, Norfolk

"Syrup is rather a sticky substance". Article states the bleeding obvious!
K Morrison, Lowestoft

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A look at the stories ranking highly on various news sites.

Readers are flocking to an , pushing it to the top of their most read list. Months after accusations about accusations he had plagiarised and used a pseudonym to alter various journalists' Wikipedia pages, he came clean.

"I've written so many articles over the years laying bare and polemicising against the errors and idiocies of other people" he starts. Before declaring "this time, I am writing an article laying bare and polemicising against the errors and idiocies of myself."

in a new book by her neighbour Joe McGinniss are cropping up in many most read lists. In among them is the Daily Beast's run down of the six "juiciest leaks". Amid allegations of drug taking and a brief relationship with a basketball star, is this not so juicy claim about her parenting:

"Palin Served Willow and Bristol Burnt Macaroni and Cheese"

Meanwhile a well hit Washington Post article by by the sources of the claims. "If the rest of McGinniss's book consists of what the Doonesbury [cartoon] preview has so far consisted of, namely, unattributed slurs from 'People Who Know Palin Well,' what was the point of moving next door to her for a year?" she says. This may seem like a daft question: . But, as Brian Palmer explains in a popular Slate article, those living below the US poverty line are materially much better off than 52 years ago, when records began. "The typical [US] household at the poverty line includes air conditioning, two color televisions with a cable or satellite feed, a DVD player, and a microwave. Poor children usually have a video game system. More than 38 percent of poor people have a personal computer" it says. Finally, New York Times readers are a normally discerning bunch. And the articles they click reflect this - normally lengthy op-ed articles opining about US politics. Today, though it seems they can't resist but catch up on the news of a cat named Willow. For 1,800 miles away in Manhattan. A microchip her owners had implanted in her as a kitten identified her but how she got there is still a mystery.

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A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Our subject today is cleavage. One set of cleavage in particular - that of Mad Men star Christina Hendricks.

It's worthy of a feature in both the Sun and the Daily Mirror. Great minds think alike.

The Sun has maverick-freelance-at-large Rachel Johnson, under the memorable byline "Editor of The Lady (32E)", .

The headline is also memorable: "Women feel liberated by her... men want to bury their heads in her bosom". It's a celebratory piece.

Over in the Daily Mirror it's a very different story. Amber Morales writes a plaintive cry under the headline: "Oh just put them away, Christina".

The display of said "them" is beginning to "grate" on Ms Morales.

"Once out there they seem to sit like inflated cushions ensuring anyone within a mile radius is overshadowed."

The conclusion is a little spiky, containing the injunction: "Christina just needs to put them away once and for all."

Elsewhere in cleavage-watch, the front page of the Sun has a story about a rugby player, who we shan't name. But we must cite the subheading: "His head in her boobs at dwarf throwing contest."

Paper Monitor believes this group of words may not have come together in the three-century history of British newspapers.

In other news, it would be remiss of us not to mention the Johann Hari row that is rumbling on.

Today, Hari apologises in the Independent for playing fast-and-loose with people's quotes and also committing Wiki-vandalism. https://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/johann-hari/johann-hari-a-personal-apology-2354679.html

But it's not enough for Toby Young at the Daily Telegraph who in a humorous, but fairly savage way.

Whatever the sins, Paper Monitor cannot help but wince.

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"All children interviewed said that material goods did not make them happy." I guess they didn't ask my kids. I agree that material goods don't make for happy children, but most children I know think otherwise. At least until said expensive material goods have been purchased!
Henri, Sidcup

Re: Trolling: Who does it and why? Banning anon posts means people avoiding abusive exes and political whistleblowers may be excluded from social networks.
@AngelM16 @³ÉÈËÂÛ̳_magazine

Honestly, this over-analysis really annoys me. I grew up reading Dahl and still go back to it occasionally. Never for once, have I found his children's books to be dark or dodgy.
MF, Islamabad

OH NO! In yesterday's letter (Tuesday's Letters) I appear to have added an apostrophe without just cause and I know how readers hate poor punctuation. I want reassure everyone that this was just a typographical error and not another sign of the decline of education standards in today's Britain. You can put your coats back.
MCK, Stevenage

You're forgiven, Sarah (Tuesday's Letters). The radio telescopes in question are designed to receive, not transmit, radio signals. And the signals received are so small that the radio free zone is required. I hope my fellow monitorites are also as forgiving!
Roger Pickard, London

Sarah (Tuesday's Letters), you are wrong, I'm afraid. The radio telescopes in question are receivers, not transmitters. The area must be clear of man-made signals (which are the ones the people in question complain of) in order that the telescopes can better pick up the minute signals from space.
Jimmy, Milton Keynes

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A look at the stories ranking highly on various news sites.

Tyler who? may be an appropriate response to finding out the . That's because, as a popular Forbes article explains, Tyler Perry is not instantly recognisable given he usually plays a character in drag. He has managed to make $130m (£82.2m) between May 2010 and May 2011. Perry has got to the top of the Forbes list by directing and producing his films as well as acting. In the last two years he's made five films and two TV series. As the magazine explains, he "caters to an audience that traditional Hollywood has struggled to reach with movies about African-American families".

What happens to an ex-president who pledges not to make any money out of their presidency? Carole Cadwalladrs finds out in the Guardian's most-read article that it means, many, many years later, living in a very small house - albeit with a team of secret service agents at the end of the drive. That's what she discovered when . "Inside, there's no hallway, just a patch of carpet separating a small dining room from a tiny sitting room. Then, all of a sudden, there's Jimmy."

And perhaps you couldn't get a further route after presidency from Jimmy Carter than Vladamir Putin. Atlantic readers are drawn to an article casting the now . The article shows that since Putin finished his time as president and became prime minister, he's managed to pack in many expeditions, from holding a tiger's head to horse riding shirtless. But the most bizarre must be his attempt to bend a frying pan with his bare hands.

Independent readers are drawn to . He comes across an interesting way of marketing drones - or as the company selling them prefers to call them - unmanned aircraft systems. Peck explains "they can be used to target 'ships, tanks, or terrorists', yet the promotional poster shows an unmanned aircraft flying above Wembley Stadium". This, he thinks, is "perhaps an extreme solution to the England football team's recent difficulties."

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A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Well, that didn't go very well. What you may ask? The little matter of a public appeal to raise £500,000 to save the writing hut where Roald Dahl wrote his ever-popular children's books.

His grand-daughter Sophie Dahl was probably expecting goodwill when she launched a public campaign to raise the money on ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ Radio 4's Today programme yesterday. Well, she didn't get it.

The papers are full of the public's reaction to the appeal. The Daily Telegraph features some of responses on Twitter. "I love a bit of Roald Dahl. But being asked by his millionaire granddaughter to stump up for his shed being moved takes the Wonka biscuit," wrote one person.

The paper then puts the boot in with a few numbers. £10m - estimated joint wealth of Sophie Dahl and her husband Jamie Cullum. £300m - box office takings from the Hollywood version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

And if you haven't already got the message, columnist Andrew M Brown :

"The thing that will have struck most people, though, listening to Sophie's soft and prosperous, Bedales-educated tones on the radio, as she admitted 'it sounds like a great deal of money', was: can the Dahl family really not find the money themselves?"

The Guardian says the Dahls have been called "stingy" and "greed". The Times mentions the mocking comments of journalist Misha Glenny who wrote on Twitter: "Stella McCartney to appeal to taxpayers for money to restring her father's Hofner bass guitar".

But it's not all bad Sophie, the Daily Mail is offering some support. It sent Robert Hardman to go "" to see what the fuss is about. His conclusions? "This is no ordinary shed." With the dazzling price tag, I think we'd gathered that.

But he gets slightly more revealing when he describes a table of mementos:

"There is the hip bone which Dahl retained after a hip replacement and a little jar of spinal shavings - another souvenir from that RAF crash. On the opposite wall is a filing cabinet with a bizarre lever wedged into a drawer handle to make it easier to open. This charming artefact, it turns out, was his original hip replacement - itself replaced in a subsequent operation."

So lots of hip bones - real and fake - and a few spinal shavings. Worth £500,000? You decide.

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Could robots really be viewed as conscious? ask them, if they answer then that could be a strong yes.
Adam Opinicus Walker

Although I sympathise and agree that this should probably be preserved, surely there is still a huge income being generated from Dahl's highly successful novels? Not only that, his granddaughter Sophie is a successful model and tv cook/writer, married to musician Jamie Cullum. Need I say more?
Fi, Gloucestershire, UK

Forgive me if I'm wrong, but aren't the people in this article shooting themselves in the foot by moving to a 'radio-free' zone that is only designated as such so that signals don't interfere with the masses of *radio* telescopes in the area?!
Sarah, Coventry

Re: Cats that glow in the dark. It's amusing that in the pictures the cat's eyes are the only bit's you can't see.
MCK, Stevenage

Howard (Monday's Letters), unfortunately, I do! Completely ashamed of myself.
Lyndsey, Leicester

In answer to Martin Comer (Monday's Letters), the mother didn`t get a choice, it was her interfering mother-in-law who named the baby! I`m not surprised she looked miserable.
Tara, London, England

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A look at the stories ranking highly on various news sites.

The most intriguing headline comes from a popular Wall Street Journal article: . The next question must surely be: do FBI agents get paid well? This isn't covered in the piece. What is suggested is you treat your salary negotiation like you are a hostage negotiator.

"So let's say the HR person says, 'We think you're a great fit for the job, and we'd like to offer you a starting salary of $75,000.' Say something like: 'I see. So you're saying that the salary for this position would be $75,000.' Then be silent.
Ìý
"In doing so, you've listened attentively, paraphrased what the interviewer has said, mirrored back the last few words, and left an effective pause in the conversation to allow the interviewer to fill the gap. Most people hate awkward silence in conversation, and will rush to fill it, and what can happen in this scenario is they fill it with a higher offer."

Alternatively they just reply "yes".

. The answer is drawing in Independent readers. It uses the reams of text where there are translations side by side - from EU or UN conferences to crime novels. So it is based on already millions of hours of human translators' work. But the article goes one further, saying it is better than a human translator because the article concedes that the automatic translator may "serve up the odd batch of nonsense" but at least you can tell from a mile off when it is doing so.

Like when we translated "serving the odd batch of nonsense" into a few languages and back to English to get "serving the mess fringe". Whereas a human translator may have changed that to at least make sure it makes sense, even if it loses its meaning.

While machines are translating languages, Discover readers are clicking on a story which says . The piece says "the bots can coin words to describe places they have been, places they want to go, and plans for getting there." But it may be a while before their language can be translated on Google Translate - the "Lingobots" so far are just communicating in beeps.

And finally, readers are appreciating a Daily Mail headline. A story about coins being wedged into trees starts "" Well, the article does, actually. It explains the coins mysteriously appearing in trunks are thought to be put there by passers by hoping to be rewarded with good luck.

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A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

There are people who always try and avoid being judgemental, lest they be judged. Those people do not become newspaper columnists.

The art of being a columnist is going into your glass house, building a mangonel and firing through the roof. Columnists really don't care what you think about them.

Vanessa Feltz is doing some judging today in the Daily Express. She namely the way they dress their five-year-old.

"She's lamb dressed as mutton, a child adorned like a wealthy middle-aged woman."

Right, OK. And then there's some more judgement on Victoria Beckham, pictured yesterday wearing extremely high stiletto heels while carrying her baby.

Some might think that despite the alarming look of the photos, La Beckham is fairly confident she's not going to fall and hurt the baby. Not Feltz.

"She puts her baby in danger of being fallen on or hurled into the air should she trip. Not pretty, not sexy, not attractive in the least."

Ouch.

But it's not just a question of judging, you also have to give details about your innermost thoughts to be a columnist.

Take Coleen Nolan's problem column in the Daily Mirror.

One that he has always had a thing for a nurse's uniform but fears his partner will break up with him.

She replies: "My husband Ray loves a uniform and that just came out when we were watching telly one night, so then I was able to ask him more about it."

Er, thanks for that.

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How difficult is David Walliams' Thames swim? Twice as difficult as he expected?
Ian Roberts

"Ex-Tory peer Lord Hanningfield freed from jail early" - this bothers me somewhat. How come "everybody was doing it" is considered a mitigating circumstance for Lords stealing £14k, but an aggravating circumstance for oiks stealing water (in a riot).
Andrew, Malvern, UK

Judging by , it seems mum lost the coin toss on who names the baby.
Martin Comer, London UK

"Cats ...have been genetically modified to glow in the dark". Funded, no doubt, by a research charity set up by mice.
Mark, Reading

From being able to see in the dark to being seen in the dark!
K Morrison, Lowestoft

Dear Paper Monitor, Can I just say - with some pride I hasten to add - that I have read your run down of today's press several times now and still haven't got a clue what you're on about.
Howard, London, UK

I've always loved the sound of the wind and there's quite a bit of it about today. But the sound seems to come in two levels a high pitched "shuffing" noise as it blows through the leaves and a much lower pitched rumble. Does anybody know what causes this rumble. It doesn't seem to be linked to the movement of the trees.
Ian, Redditch

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ÌýA look at the stories ranking highly on various news sites.

ÌýÌý

ÌýTime readers are drawn to a guide on . One survivor quoted in the article is Kent Harstedt who survived when, in 1994, the ferry he was on sunk in the Baltic Sea. He witnessed something strange about the other passengers' reactions. "Entire groups seemed to be immobilized. They were conscious, but they were not reacting."

The article says surprisingly this actually isn't that unusual. "Crowds generally become quiet and docile. Panic is rare. The bigger problem is that people do too little, too slowly. They sometimes shut down completely, falling into a stupor. " So, the piece concludes, panic can be good for you.

Brooker points out some interesting anomalies are sure to crop up. "It probably believes the British public is on the verge of violently overthrowing Jedward, whereas the reality, as we all know, is that the beloved Jedwardian Era shows no signs of abating."

according to a well hit New York Times article. It says the word is rolling off the tongues of celebrities, web gurus and politicians. Even the Vatican has weighed in. The paper points out "In a June statement entitled 'Truth, Proclamation and Authenticity of Life in the Digital Age,' Pope Benedict XVI said that increasing involvement in online life 'inevitably poses questions not only of how to act properly, but also about the authenticity of one's own being.'"

But there's a twist. The more people shout about how true to themselves they are being, the bigger the demand for at least an acknowledgment of artifice. Honestly.

And one person who has confessed to not being authentic about her intentions was Nancy Upton when she entered a fashion chain's competition for a plus-size model. She explains in a popular Daily Beast article that she .

Upton took part as a form of protest against what she sees as the tone the company was speaking to women in larger sizes, who it had previously said weren't their target audience. She sent in photographs of her "bathing in salad dressing, chugging down chocolate sauce, and Hoovering fried chicken". But the part she didn't predict was that she would go on to win which she said "shocked me nearly as much as the crudity of the whole campaign itself".

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A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Occasionally, Paper Monitor likes to bring you a flavour of the celebrity news from the tabs. Of course, we would never do anything so vulgar as to name the individuals involved.

The Sun is the first port-of-call in these matters. They report on the Canadian teenage pop star and his plans to , as well as the Amazonian socialite, daughter of a diminutive sporting billionaire, who is getting a £1m bath from the Amazon.

The one who wears startling costumes is shown which is apparently a look copied from the one from Liverpool who goes out with the very tall former England striker.

Lots of papers have bikini shots of the one from the TV talent show who is also in an urban music band. One of the band is her boyfriend and he was supposedly involved in an altercation at a scooter shop.

The Daily Express devotes all of page three to high heels. The one whose nickname alluded to her high social status is shown "teetering" on monster stilettos while holding her new baby. By the next paragraph she is "confidently crossing the street in seemingly treacherous boots".

Make your mind up.

On the same page the Welsh singer whose speciality is opera - rather than the other Welsh singer whose speciality is alcopopera - is seen getting out of a car with six-inch stilettos.

Further into the Express we're treated to the revelation that the one with the red hair - whose hourglass figure is billed by papers as the essence of "real woman" beauty - is a fan of milking cows.

Over in the Daily Star we find out that Las Vegas has had a visit from the one whose relationship with a wing wizard proved to be the greatest battle over privacy since the invention of curtains.

Finally, in the Daily Mail, there's the is taking security advice.

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