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Can you smell rotting meat?

Oh, it's just something I threw together

Well, it's hardly Hoff-the-peg, is it?

Hoff-the-peg

Hold on whilst I turn off the wind machine

Let me guess - George by Asda?

As a tribute to David's Thespian qualities as evinced by Baywatch, Lady Gaga went as a shell

The cleavage seems familiar, but the face eludes me...

My couturier? Actually, I just go to a local welder these days.

Monster mating rituals unmasked by scientists

Apparently, Lady Gaga was given the award by an elderly tortoise

Mirror fogs over as Hasselhoff asks who is the fairest.

Your Kit is trickier than mine

Did I scour the fashion houses of Paris to find this? No, just the scrap metal dealers.

And the Royal Institute of British Architects award goes to Lady Gaga.

And why do they call you Gaga?

You're Gaga? No I am Gaga , well I think I am!

Hoff and Gaga, both four letter words, a cosmic coincidence or the start of something intriguing?

Well, yes, going to the loo is a little tricky ...

Nice to see that Kitt has been recycled into something wearable.

Yes! I'm a fan of Nietzsche too!

So I thought, if I am going down the runway, I may as well look as if I might be able to take off

And if I look closely I can see a perfect reflection of myself.

What do you mean, my grey suit looks stupid?

You got your outift from Moss Bros too?

If you angle me correctly, I can pick up transmittions from my home planet....

The outfit's OK, Lady Gaga, but perhaps not with those shoes ...

I think we should counter offer Gervais for the Golden Globes and the Oscars...

Hoff just couldn't get over his amazement at the ornately decorated dustbin lid.

So that's where all the tinfoil I collected for Blue Peter went

Bad Romance has always been a specialty of mine

Chinese satellite fails to leave earth orbit and swoops low over Belfast.

So, can you get HD and 3D on that set-up too?

It's been a few years, but if you've got the time, my dear, I've still got the leather thong.

Russian Satellite fails to leave earth orbit and swoops low over Belfast (correction)

I wondered what Harland and Wolff had been doing in Belfast since they built the Titanic

I could never work out which recycling bin to put it all in, so I had it made into a dress

This old thing? I got it from Princess Beatrice.

Lady Gaga's deafness was getting to be a real problem

Yes, Bill Clinton blushed too when I said that.

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW, DAVID..

David Hasselhoff was thrilled he'd managed to get Lady Gaga to stand right over the air vent

I always said you had a face like a melted Welly.

Hoff: "Your face looks like the man in the back of a spoon!"

Yes, David, it was a terrible car accident, and they're going to cut me free the minute this award ceremony is over

Actually, David, and I'm naked underneath my clothes. I just wanted to give you a mental image for the drive home.

Best female? I thought I was getting the Turner Prize.

And as the Queen of Hearts once said, "Hoff with his head!"

Well, Jeez, I think Jodrell Bank is wonderful too, Miss, but I don't dress like it

By blaming the dress desginer, Gaga's flatulance passed without question.

Early designs of the orgasmatron suffered from overzealous health and safety requirements..

Unfortunately, I ordered from Paul, not Stella McCartney

The last time I saw anything like this was when my Mongrel came out from the Vets

Following negotiations she will now be know as the Sports Direct Lady Gaga Arena.

Lady Gaga's entrance, descending from the skies as an angel, was marred by a rope getting snagged and her falling face first into a bucket

Lady Gaga regretted leaving her dress out on the line in the freezing cold

Suddenly, Lady Gaga's bubble gum popped

Lady Gaga had hoped to be able to slip in and out unnoticed

"Charlie said my custard pie was only good for one thing..."

Stop worrying! Everyone gets spots on their chin every now and again.

Is she a dish or what ?

And the award for genetically-modified puppet of the year goes to...

...the Miss Piggy and Oscar from Sesame Street cross...

Princess Beatrice could not believe someone else had beaten her to the new hat

Does my bum look big in this ?

Darth, is that you?

When I said I wanted to giva an award to a real dish, I didn't mean a satellite dish.

When I said I wanted to give an award to a real dish, I didn't mean a satellite dish.

David forever the gentleman tells Lady Gaga she has lost one of her balls

So you are gaga too!

Furore at the MTV awards when someone tried to steal Lady Gaga's award

Lady Gaga's Marylin Monroe moment was not quite as she had thought it would be

At last, the Hoff is unveiled as the Phantom Flan Flinger!

From one sex cymbal to another...

With all the stars about doesn't it make you realise how small the World is getting.

Apparently, if you poker face you can pick up Baywatch repeats...

So, what did the vet say about the mange?

Mix celebrities and astrophysics and what have you got? Lady Gaga replaces Jodrell Bank.

Is there a breeze in here?

Ooh, she's a dish!

2 designers actually - Kurt 'n Rod!

The reception at the awards show was terrible!

The piece I'm wearing is called "Signal! You're in tent"

Do you remember the days when the music industry was dependent on the use of plastic?

Didnt you used to be grayson perry

"They say we can contact some otherwise inexplicable lifeforms through this thing."

And where did you put your poppy?

Yes, and I'm big in China now, too.

This is a wardrobe malfunction, press this button and see my drawers slide open

gaga googoo

It hides your face, but not your derriere - perfect!

And another thing, David, rolling your jacket sleeves up is so eighties...

Radio GaGa

You may be world famous, but no one is bigger than me in North Rhine-Westphalia.

Around here, they call the wind Mariah Carey.

On the night, Lady Gaga got the best reception.

Life on a Silver Platter

Video killed the radio star?

"Don't worry" sympathised David, "I was never any good at Frisbee either..."

As they re-enact the HMV logo, The Hoff took the Huff when Gaga said she prefered Nipper.

It was the first time David had met a female Dalek