³ÉÈËÂÛ̳

I said to wear your boxers ...

Dalek mania hits Kazakhstan

I said to call the Fire Brigade, not the 4 Brigade

On plain clothes duty again, Constable Schmidt?

With the Vegetable Battle looming, rotten tomatoes at Lidl were twice the price of ordinary tomatoes

Danger Will Robinson...

Ich bin ein Dalek

It all started with a sandwich sign.

You’ve not quite got the hang of this disguise thing, have you, Constable Grimethorpe..

OK, but it was only a small zit ...

"Ich Binned Ein Berliner"

Well, choose a bigger Portaloo next time

An on-line trace revealed the package was not at its destination,Des Moines,Iowa,but rather having a grand old time traipsing around Berlin.

V is for Veg, actually.

And that satisfies the flammability requirements specified in British Standard 5722 does it?

I said we'd make it another Battle of Waterloo, not Portaloo

We're bound to win - all my tomatoes are still tinned

A vegetable battle? But we don't want war, we want peas ...

"The best part is I can be recycled."

The enemy seems to know all about our vegetable weapons. There must have been some sort of leek ...

Is it Boxing Day already? Must turn the sprouts off.

Well, I don't see why they should disqualify spud guns

Er.. you’ve not been to a boxing competition before, have you..

It's all a but of fun. We Germans enjoy a hearty-joke.

"You know,I'm getting a little tired of carton this around".

Thinking of her fans and the inevitable swooning injuries, Samantha Brick takes precautions as she pops to the shops.

And, if we lose, we'll have to beetroot the retreat

So you've come to the Vegetable Battle as an au-tomato-n?

You do realise tomatoes are technically a fruit...

Never mind you and your Guy Fawkes mask - THIS is how you stay Anonymous!

You'd do anything to get out of carrying the shopping wouldn't you?

As Tesco says, "Every LIDL helps"

Oscar Pistorius still wasn't QUITE sure ...

Penny for the rye?

Relationship status = Corrugated

At least I'm not at home watching the box

Top Gear denies that budget cuts have hit its Star In A Reasonably Priced Car feature.

It's the Vegetable Battle not a boxing match!

Prince Harry's security guard was taking no chances this time.

After watching Blue Peter, Nigel asked a passerby where do you get sticky back plastic from.

Vegetable Battle? I see der feet.

Call me perspective, but no, I don’t think Apple are going to sue you for patent infringement..

Does this count as one of my funf'er day?

Tooled up with fartychokes but no ventilation

I came up with the idea for my protective outfit by thinking outside the box!

Times are hard for investigative journalists in the wake of Levenson, and here we see Woodward and Bernstein as they attempt to infiltrate the recycled cardboard scandal.

Ever thought of thinking outside the box?

³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ insists cuts to Doctor Who special effects budget will not affect quality.

"Slumdog Millionaire" wins a house

No, I do not think that's the reason why supermarkets put all those empty cardboard boxes by the tills

The Germans' version of "When Harry Met Rom"

It's a home remedy for agoraphobia, actually.

"Invasion of the Tetrapaks" - scene 1 - it's a wrap

And I can all my own vegetables, I'll have you know.

And don't say I never buy you anything

Look, when I gave you your birthday present, did I actually say there was a 3D television in it?

London Fashion Week gets off to it's usual good start.

I don't know why they rejected your application for the Paralympics. I would have thought having agoraphobia would have qualified as a disability.

Are you smoking in there?

I know you like to spend a lot of time in the garden shed, but couldn't you have left it at home?

Jose Mourinho said he was the best box to box player he had ever seen

A German supermarket chain with more than four letters? Nah, I don't think that would work.

I told you you were taking too much Viagra

We have a Vegetable Battle every evening in our house too - just trying to get the kids to eat them

What did you say the SPF of the box was?

You can come out of the box now - the Olympics is over

A still from Monty Python's "Mrs Cardboard Cutout" now available in 3D

I used to be the scenery designer on 'Hole in the Wall'.

I'm not drunk, just completely pixelated.

Gunther you look stupid with those plastic bags and a mask.

At least one member of the boy band New Kids In The Box was late for the reunion

And you're not taking that box off until you've worked off those sprouts

What? I couldn’t find a stocking or a mask, so I improvised. Now stop complaining and lets get to that bank..

Don't be so embarrassed. You weren't the only one to lose out in Cameron's reshuffle.

Hans was having his own vegetable battle ( he had baked beans for lunch) and forgot to add some ventilation.

I'm only guessing, mate, but is your name "Jack" by any chance?

Steven Moffat is sure running out of ideas

Honestly, it was the only thing in my wardrobe that went with these shoes...

This week it's the ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ Carton Competition

Body armour had become de rigeur for the Veg Battle

Pea for Vendetta.

I wouldn't mind your being a one-armed bandit, but you keep paying out too much

You would have thought in this Politically Correct era, the "Vegetable Battle" would have been called something slightly less offensive to the participants....

Well, if you'd only run a bit faster in the Olympics, they would have painted your letter-box silver instead of bronze

Of course it's art - it's post(box)-modernist

You need a pea? Well, you should have gone before you got all dressed up.

I normally live under the arches, but I got this mobile home to go on holiday.

Why did I write Brigade on the back? - Because when I tried it on everyone shouted NEIN NEIN NEIN

One environmentalist hopes his "box for life" idea will catch on.

Cry 'Havoc!', and let slip the box of war

"Und why do think this has anything to do with Boris Johnson..?"

Don't be daft - of course coconuts are vegetables

I said "Wear the Fox hat" ...

My father made it at work for me, and said I must wear it until I complete rehab.

Is that Angela in there with you, Nicolas?

Power to the peep-hole.

Ok Mr. Lansley, I understand how you feel, but Leader of the House isn't such a disgrace.

Next time bring a safety pin in case your zip jams

OK, so you couldn't afford the Nike shirt to go with the outfit ...

4 Brigade? That's what they call firemen in Birmngham ... ?