³ÉÈËÂÛ̳

Snippets from the week's news, sliced, diced and processed for your convenience.

1. Dolphins can stay awake for 15 days at a time.

2. Two thirds of British men don't wash their hands after using motorway toilets.
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3. The world's most expensive cocktail using ingredients totalling around £5,500 ($8,830).

4. Three-quarters of rats in Bristol, Gloucestershire and Wiltshire have mutated to become resistant to poison.
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5. Petrol can be produced from fresh air.

6. There are 1,368 different wine grapes used commercially around the world.

7. Michael Fish has about a hundred fish themed ties.

8. Flying ant day is a myth.
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9. Prehistoric fish, not sharks as previously thought, are believed to be the first vertebrates to develop teeth and jaws.

10. Sound barrier-breaking skydiver Felix Baumgartner drew a picture at the age of five which predicted his future career.

Seen a thing? Tell @³ÉÈËÂÛ̳_magazine on Twitter using the hashtag #thingIdidntknowlastweek

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Re: this story. A solar-powered plant to produce fuel from water and CO2 extracted from the air? Isn't that called a tree?
Tim, London

When I saw this story I wondered to myself who gave you my details. So disappointed to find out it wasn't me.
John, Peterborough, UK

"I'm sorry, we don't have it in your size, sir."
Tim, London

Basil (Thursday's letters), I have always given names to inanimate objects, could be said a bit mad but I think it keeps you sane at times. Our Christmas turkey also got a name each year, we have had a few Matildas, a Gertrude but my favourite was Harold. The reason he was christened with this handle was because he cost £10.66 thus Hastings and all that, Harold it was. It was no "battle", however, when he graced our festive dinner... now, where is what's-his-name gone...
Tim McMahon, Martos/Spain

Basil, may I suggest you use your Tardis and get out more while there's still time (No need to reply, it's a rhetorical question)?
Phil Warne, Nelson, NZ

Ah 'tis a rare day indeed - seven out of seven on the quiz bodes well for the weekend ahead. Is it so wrong that I feel a level of achievement totally disproportionate to the actual task achieved? That I'm sat here expecting some kind of recognition from my peers? That I feel I now deserve to take the rest of the day easy? And with only two questions answered by total guess-work as well...
Paul Lawrence, Cirencester

I can assure John of Southampton (Thursday's letters) that when you are watching Sheffield Wednesday play football, it certainly feels like it's a whole day.
Peter, Pershore, Worcs.

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Winning entries in the Caption Competition.

The competition is now closed.

This week, the US Space Shuttle Endeavour makes its way through the streets of Los Angeles towards its retirement home at the California Science Center.

Thanks to all who entered. The prize of a small amount of kudos to the following:

6. Martin Walter: A quick lick of red paint and Boris was all ready to unveil his brand new double decker for London.

5. Camilla Bit My Finger: The captain smiled to himself. None of the crowd waiting at the traffic lights was tall enough to wash THIS windscreen.

4. And another thing:
Commuters were less than happy with the replacement shuttle service.

3. Rob Falconer:
Of course we're going slowly - there's a ruddy caravan up ahead.

2. SivAngel:
Suddenly, EVERYONE wants to drive round the Holgate Windmill roundabout.

1. Bellhouse Hartwell:
So, we're here in LA, and all our luggage is on Saturn?

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A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

The strains of classic rock practically blare from the pages of this morning's papers.

For whatever reason, appearances by certain popular music legends proliferate.

There is extensive coverage of the premiere of Crossfire Hurricane, a documentary film about the Rolling Stones.

The band themselves are widely pictured standing outside the screening in London's West End. Mick, Keef (still sporting, as writer David Quantick once told the Magazine, "a face like a prune's wallet"), Charlie and Ron, their appearance as disreputable as it was in their heyday, if somewhat greyer.

Reviews of the film itself are mixed. Kate Muir of The Times praises its portrayal of the "terror and adrenalin" of the band's early fame, but laments the absence of muses Marianne Faithfull and Anita Pallenberg.

Michael Hann of the Guardian enjoys the documentary but Crossfire Hurricane is, he says, "like one of those Stones albums of the last three decades: it's fun, it has terrific moments, but in the end it pales in comparison with earlier triumphs".

"As a visual record, Crossfire Hurricane is a real treasure trove," in the Independent. "As history, it's on the skimpy side."

For the Daily Mail, the most important aspect of the premiere is not so much the production itself as the appearance of former Stones bass player Bill Wyman alongside his former band mates (the online version of the paper focuses on the fact that ).

The same paper devotes to discussing a paparazzi shot of the legendary David Bowie going for a walk in New York.

Bowie has, according to the Mail, "apparently not written a song since 2003". He is "reclusive", "consumed by a fear of flying" and turns down all offers of work.

So, too, would Paper Monitor, if Paper Monitor were a 65-year-old multi-millionaire with a secure place in received wisdom as one of the greatest songwriters of all time.

A description of his daily routine is perhaps intended to make him sound even more of an eccentric:

Bowie spends his time painting, drawing and reading, and other than when he's walking his 11-year-old daughter, Alexandria, to her nearby school, emerges only infrequently.

Again, to Paper Monitor, this sounds quite a pleasant existence.

The Daily Mirror takes a similar approach to the Mail, asking "can this REALLY be pop's legendary Starman?"

Paper Monitor hope's Bowie pays no notice - David.

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Mr Bullock of the British Pig Executive? Ooh, so close.
GDW, Edinb

I liked the article on the wi-fi names but perhaps I should explain the name I have given my router. Once upon a time I only owned one computer. Then I bought another to go in the bedroom, so the "main" computer was named the Master, whilst the "other" was named the Companion. Then I got a netbook which - because it travelled everywhere with me - was called the TARDIS. My smartphone - which goes in my pocket - is the Sonic Screwdriver, so naturally my router is... the Time Vortex. Yes, I'm single.
Basil Long, Nottingham

"Only three out of 92 English league clubs offer a day out for less than £20." A "day out"? Someone remind me how long a game of football is again?
John Bratby, Southampton

I must say I really appreciated your showing how much snacks cost at football grounds by using a pie chart.
Valerie Ganne, Penarth, UK

Is Paper Monitor nonplussed at because s/he believes that passing off a text description of a ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳2 documentary as an article should be strictly the domain of the Magazine?
Michael, Edinburgh, UK

Debbie (Tuesday's letters), you didn't need to hop out and in. When I was at Salford University I would sometimes ride over the top or under the bottom. I didn't turn upside down once.
Paul, Ipswich

Ross (Wednesday's letters), definitely hold off on the "wang us" expression if you come to the US - if you check an urban dictionary for wang you will find its common meaning over here is something you probably don't want to be talking about with work colleagues.
Jenny, Chicago

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A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

The Guardian has a large blurb just below its masthead today.

Alongside a picture of author Hilary Mantel, it proclaims: "Exclusive interview with the Man Booker winner."

And indeed there is an in the paper's G2 tabloid.

It's a funny sort of exclusive, however, because she also appears today talking to the , the and the .

Yesterday she spoke to too.

Now, Paper Monitor admires Ms Mantel and is happy to see her quoted as widely as possible.

But this column values the integrity of the term "exclusive", and hopes the Guardian - normally more than happy to fling stones around the media greenhouse - will not be tempted to traduce it again.

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That's strange. I have thoroughly searched but the name "Sherlock" does not appear once.
Carl, Crepy, France

Isn't the great majority of the English language a Britishism used by Americans?
David Richerby, Liverpool, UK

In response to the list of American usage of an increasing number of Britishisms, it would be quite interesting to compile a list of more obscure regional variations of words, particularly where definition varies from the UK to US. My girlfriend has always been confused by my use of "wang" (to throw) and using "us" in a singular sense, as in: "Wang us my coat, please." Where I grew up (Lincolnshire) it wasn't uncommon at all, but I have to be increasingly careful not to let slip when at work as my Kenyan colleagues are often completely confused by some of the expressions and idioms I use.
Ross, Nairobi, formerly London and Norwich

Was anyone else as delighted as I was to see Debbie from Essex (Wednesday's letters) breaking out of the confines of stereotyping in such an emphatic manner. I'll get my bra, and then promptly burn it.

Ray, Turku, Finland

Re: the sidebar in this story. Yes, but what have they done for us recently?
MCK, Stevenage

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A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Happy birthday G2. The Guardian's daily standalone features tabloid today celebrates 20 years in existence by giving itself a rather large pat on the back.

As the product had a major impact on the newspaper industry.

The Independent and The Times launched their own equivalents within months of G2's arrival, and newspapers across Europe followed suit.

But G2 was not entirely novel. Pass Notes, for instance, was pinched from the short-lived Sunday Correspondent, Rusbridger says.

And not everyone on the paper was pleased to see this new arrival in 1992. Many feared the tabloid format was a sign the Guardian was dumbing down. One member of staff wrote a scornful memo "lamenting that the Guardian could have come to this dark moment in its history".

Elsewhere, the paper pulls out a selection of its (Thora Hird on discovering the body of her late husband: "It's a terrible thing to say, only God understands me very, very well - the first thing I thought was, 'Why are your shoes cleaner than anyone else's?'"), (Germaine Greer on sharing a bed with Fellini: "He changed into the brown silk pyjamas with cream piping that he had brought in his little overnight bag, and hung his clothes up carefully for the next day"), and other (Nancy Banks-Smith: "In EastEnders (³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ One), any minor crisis - fire, pestilence, the sword - calls for a nice cup of tea. For the apocalypse, add biscuits").

In addition - perhaps to remind us why the section is not quite everyone's cup of tea - there is a selection of G2 Paper Monitor recalls reading about G2 gonzo specialist/whipping boy and feeling particularly nonplussed.

But few can doubt the significance of the supplement in reshaping newspapers. Many happy returns.

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I have been in officers' messes - I do not blame the poor thing for being suspicious.
Malcolm, Wrexham, Wales, United Kingdom

Did anyone read the headline "top toys get techy for Christmas" and immediately have visions of My Little Pony stampeding or an attack by legions of Lego figurines... just because all they got as presents were socks.
Paul, Marlow, UK

Presumably these underpants will be sold in Marks & Sparks?
Basil Long, Nottingham

On lifts (Monday's letters), there was also a Paternoster lift in the library at the University of Essex. There'd often be a queue on the third floor to go down (you could only get two people in at a time), so I'd ride up to the fourth floor then hop out and get back on the down. It was very satisfying to see the faces of the people in the queue when they saw me and realised what had happened.
Debbie, Essex, UK

Singing mice? Who could forget my personal favourite of the genre:
Aqua Suliser, Bath

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A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Paper Monitor is nursing a mild hangover, an unfortunate state of affairs not helped by a feature in this morning's Daily Mail.

It concerns the world's strongest beer, a 65% alcohol concoction by the name of Armageddon. Each 330ml bottle contains 22 units, the equivalent of 10 pints of Carlsberg.

and handed the task of sampling the stuff:

Yes, it is quite bitter - I prefer a milder-tasting ale - but it's not off the scale. There's a definite maltiness and a rather pleasant sweet aftertaste at the centre and back of my tongue.

I'm happy to take a second sip. Just curiosity, you understand. And a third, and a fourth... I could, I'm sure, empty the glass.

Hold on a moment. I think I'd better stop while I'm ahead.

According to Graff, the brew is the latest product of an ongoing battle between manufacturers to produce the most potent ale.

It's not the only taste bud-related trend examined by today's papers.

In the Independent, Katherine Butler bemoans a recent visit to a fashionable London restaurant which was spoiled for her by

A request for the volume to be turned down was refused by the management - to the apparent dismay of the waiting staff. She writes:

Music can help create the right buzz wherever people gather and our venue's playlist wasn't bad, but even Mozart's Lacrimosa played at volumes favoured in the interrogation rooms at Guantanamo would be anti-social.

She concludes the restaurant's owners have calculated that "if they can't actually talk, people will drink more".

Perhaps that 65% beer will catch on after all.

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Since only 14% of banknotes are contaminated with faecal bacteria, compared to 26% of hands, the phrase "filthy lucre" has now been officially retired. Please update your dictionaries.
David Richerby, Liverpool, UK

On lifts, does anyone remember ? I used the one at Newcastle University when a Student at Durham. I was so scared that I never tried to talk to anyone.
Adrian, London, UK

This story (/news/world-us-canada-19935264) reminded me for no reason in particular that we also have trees near parts of our transport infrastructure. I seem to recall that periodically the leaves fall off the trees and thought it might be worth bringing this to the attention of transport managers just in case it's forecast to happen again in the near future.
David, Romford, UK

According to this, Scientists say billions are needed to save nature. Just try leaving it alone, I'm sure it'll be fine.
Martin Comer, London, UK

Number 2 in 10 things we didn't know last week isn't exactly news to those of us who grew up watching Bagpuss. They can play the mouse organ too.
Sue, London

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A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

The Daily Express updates readers on the argy bargy taking place between British and French fishermen in the English Channel.

Tension is rising in the - or la guerre des coquilles, and the Navy has dispatched a vessel.

In the mounting dispute over access to scallop stocks, French fishermen have threatened to blockade Channel ferry ports.

And last week, British trawlermen off the coast of Le Havre were reportedly pelted with rocks and other items.

But the paper quotes fishermen who say they are feeling reassured now they know Navy back up is on the way.

"Since last week it's been quiet but the French fishermen could come back," said one.

Now for those of you who haven't been following this, the Express provides a handy Q&A box, which asks the question: "So why are the French stroppy?".

Here's the answer:

the French agreed a self-imposed ban on trawling in the area from May 1 to October 1. This ban did not affect the British boats fishing in international waters. The French accuse them of threatening their scallop industry.

Memories of the Cod War of 1975-76 that pitted Britain's Royal Navy against Iceland's coast guard are raised.

Now, is the Daily Telegraph mixing it - deliberately trying to make waves with today's recipe?

with prosciutto 'glass' in the shell.

According to paper, it's an "impressive-looking starter that's easy to put together".

It might not be that easy if those French fishermen get any more inflamed.

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