Paper Monitor
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
The red-tops greet news of Prince Harry's latest romance in the only way they know how. With puns.
And when those puns have run out. More puns.
The Sun splashes with a slightly clunky, underpowered effort: (the couple are pictured together on a ski slope).
Things turn a bit racier on Pages 4 and 5, however.
"Harry is like a dog with a Bonas".
There is always the suspicion that the headline on a spread is the one the subs really wanted for the splash before being over-ruled by a cautious editor.
Not here though. It only really works if you already know Cressida Bonas's surname.
It also sounds a bit lewd. Perhaps that would explain the softer strap above it: "Cressida seems like such an ice girl."
Given Harry's prickly relationship with the tabloids, the uneven tone (Too cheeky? Not cheeky enough?) is understandable.
The Mirror , but pulls something a bit classier out of the pun cupboard for pages 4 and 5: "The Prince & the Snowgirl".
Only the Daily Star, which clearly sees boozy, blokeish Harry as one of its own, manages any real consistency.
Flirty Harry, winks the splash. , it continues inside - matey without being rude. Job done.
But Paper Monitor sees these opening salvos as "sighters" in what is likely to be a long campaign.
Perhaps Harry and Cressida could play their part by relocating to an equally pun rich environment for their next encounter with a long lens.
Any suggestions, readers?