³ÉÈËÂÛ̳

³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ BLOGS - Newsnight: From the web team
« Previous | Main | Next »

Wednesday 30th July 2008

Len Freeman | 17:58 UK time, Wednesday, 30 July 2008

Here is Gavin's look ahead to tonight's programme.

Quote for the Day

"If we had no sexual harassment we would have no children" - An unnamed Russian judge, dismissing a case of sexual harassment, ruling that employers were obliged to make passes at female staff to ensure the survival of the human race.

In tonight's programme:

Labour

Does David Miliband have the Right Stuff to be leader of the Labour party? His essay in The Guardian today has started off a wave of speculation that he's in for the job -- although of course there is no vacancy. So who is the Young Pretender? What does he stand for? And what do others think of him?

Gas

Britain's biggest supplier puts prices up by 35%. If you have had a pay increase of 35% to help pay for it, we'd love to hear from you. As for the rest of us, should we just grin and bear it? Is there anything we can do?

David Cameron

And in co-production with ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ Newsbeat we bring you David Cameron quizzed by Radio 1 listeners. What will they make of him? And how will he respond to criticism of his floral shorts.

And finally

Charles Veritie sends in this Joke fit for an 11-year-old.
In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room.
A family member lay gravely ill.
Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and sombre.
"I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news,"
he said as he surveyed the worried faces.
"The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant.
It's an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope.
Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves."

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?"

The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain."

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.

A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask,

"Why is the male brain so much more?"

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group: "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used."

That's a second feminist joke sent in by a man in the past two days.

What's going on? Some kind of conspiracy? Keep them coming.

Newsnight - where the brains are priceless - is at 10 30 on ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳2

Gavin

Comments

  • Comment number 1.

    You don't need a 35% pay rise to pay a 35% gas price hike, just a rise high enough to pay the monetary increase. So, for example, if you currently earn £60,000 net and your gas cost £1,200, a pay rise of £420 or 0.007% will cover it.

  • Comment number 2.

    what to do about energy prices

    1. you could hedge on the futures market

    2.Leave uk

    3. Get a jumper

    4.The govt to build gas storage and like most eu countries start a two way grid to free people from dependence upon fuels portioned out by non uk multinationals who cannot believe their luck that the uk as the only country to allow such big price rises the govt helps them out by saying the high prices is a merely a function of 'competition' and not a bent market.

  • Comment number 3.

    Forget about Gobal Warming.
    Forget about Natural Gas

    Bring back coal!

  • Comment number 4.

    These jokes are dire !

  • Comment number 5.

    Footnote: July 30th should be a national holiday in England. Why? 'There are some people on the pitch; they think it's all over - it is now!'

  • Comment number 6.

    If we're doing 'Quote for the Day' I'll match your example of skewed logic with a couple from a press conference today.


    "... our review has not identified any information that would indicate a need or duty to conduct a criminal investigation into the Trust at this time."
    Asst Chief Con Allyn Thomas

    Ninety people dead not enough information to start a proper investigation then?


    "...from the information available we cannot establish with certainty a causal link between failings to manage infection and the death of any particular individual."
    Sandra Caldwell
    Health and Safety Executive

    Just a coincidence is it then that all ninety contracted c. difficile in the hospital and then died? Sounds like cause and effect to me, but if HSE think infections don't cause deaths there's no need to clean hospital wards at all.

    Seeing as not everyone responsible was interviewed one would have to conclude that they probably want to avoid a criminal investigation.

    So if there were another Beverley Allitt around, and I sincerely hope there isn't, this crew have provided the perfect murder weapon.

  • Comment number 7.

    Please, Please Please, Michael!

    We want names!

    He said, she said, they said, a minister said, someone close to said ....

    All this is meaningless babble.

    Put people on the record. If they are not willing to be named they are cowardly gossip mongers - portray them as such!

    The voter deserves better than unattributed waffle

  • Comment number 8.

    A 35% hike is the best thing I have heard this year.
    My wife is a good knitter so we return to my childhood when we had no central heating, no double glazing etc. and we sat by our one coal fire to keep warm, wearing jumpers and blankets.

    But we now don't have any coal to keep us warm, not at the prices we had then in the 40's to 50's, so we shiver and grin. At least I won't have to chip the ice off my bedroom window as we have double glazing.

    It is called progress; Not "Back to the Future" but Back to the past".
    Of course it's all Brown's fault and Cameron will restore us to our former profigliacy- I don't think.

  • Comment number 9.

    How can BG justify putting up prices when oil has just fallen by some 20%off it's peak? Weren't the experts just saying that gas has to rise because of its link to the rising oil price? Has the link been severed?

    Gordon, before you clear off please do what American presidents do and spend your last days in office doing the right thing:
    Nationalise the utilities and stop the German, Dutch, French etc profiteering from our electricity, city postal services, and water. These are basics of civilized life and are the reason for central government, as opposed to tribal anarchy. Independant audits would keep services efficient.

    Abandon the Americanisation of our education system. How many directors of the non profit making non result producing exam marking scam get over £100000 salary??

    Finally abolish tax on fuel; that would align the prices to the 'gas guzzling' yanks, and help our country to prosper.

  • Comment number 10.

    It is quite obvious that the gas prices will have to rise up. Well, I am not suprised by this. Above all, analytically studying the current global trade situation, prices of other commodities will soon rise as a consewuent of the failure of the world trade talks, which recently ended without any positive outcome. This will affect the developing nations. How it be said that the developing nations have to protect their local industries? That they are trying to do but the technology to be used by these industries to make them produce a lot commodities to become self sufficient are expensive and this technology is available with the industrialised world. Britain will have to increase her people's pay by 35% too to pay off for the gas as they have other commitments and the commodities in the market are on the increase. This is a requirement for people to meet up to their other commitments.

  • Comment number 11.

    Bullingdon dave chillin wiv da posse? Minging.

    Like a Lenin is Milliband agitating to storm his winter palace? Can I hear basement presses, run by comrade printers who talk without removing the cigarette from their mouths, working red hot as they churn out leaflets on the night shift? Do they dream of future statues in a Milliband Square?




Ìý

³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ iD

³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ navigation

³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ © 2014 The ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ is not responsible for the content of external sites. Read more.

This page is best viewed in an up-to-date web browser with style sheets (CSS) enabled. While you will be able to view the content of this page in your current browser, you will not be able to get the full visual experience. Please consider upgrading your browser software or enabling style sheets (CSS) if you are able to do so.