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Baron Morrison of Lambeth ?

It would be a nice tribute to his Grandfather and mioght stop the "Mandy" nickname !

BORN AGAIN LABOUR

Apparently Peter (the Rock) Mandelson has bribed* the Archangel Gabriel to let him transcribe some gold plates that bear the instructions for infallible government. This is 'Born Again Labour' and we are all saved.
Mandy has passed on the book: 'A New Kind of Governance' (subtitled: 'How to stay in power for ever!') in a deal with J. Gordon Brown, to get back into the cabinet.
* The bribe is rumoured to have been 'fabulous' and was met from EU expenses; all trace of which, like the gold plates, then, magically, disappeared.
Nick Clegg is said to have been mysteriously consumed by fire when maintaining, vehemently, that HE coined: 'A New Kind of Government'. He said he distinctly remembers, he was standing in a blaze of white light at the time.

So he is back. As Wilson said, a week is a long time in politics.

Of course it has been longer than a week, but it would need to be a great deal longer before we will forget the reasons he left government.
His return gives a whole new meaning to sleaze.
Brown is really grasping at straws.
To think, I used to vote labour.

Will you be asking Mandelson about his personal experience of the sub prime market and of so called 'liar' mortgages - so topical in the news these days?

Well the French and Germans will be happy , given the reports about them undermining his WTO position.

THE LAND OF DODGY LORDS

It is as if we WANT the world to laugh at us.
Why did Brown not make Mandelson Archbishop of Canterbury? After all, he is 'uniquely' qualified in these ultra-modern times, and the joke would have been exquisite.
Clearly we are witnessing another "10% moment" in the bizarre progress of J Gordon Brown, as he tries to get his hopelessly earthbound rocket to fly to the constellation known as 'Tony Blair', there eclipse and outshine him, for all eternity.
These impoverished souls and their acolytes vie with others of similar ilk in the Westminster Madhouse, playing out at great expense the charade of government.
We may watch, and occasionally vote - impotently.

How does that song go?
"Once, twice, three times malady"

Can anyone tell me how to create a new party?

what a weak prime minister, to invite his most dire opponent smacks of cowardice and not strength, I know the Mafiosi say keep your enemies closer but this is ridiculous. Mandy is by nature a born plotter and as the left start to unravel (as they will) his dark side Gordon will once again plumb new depths of unpopularity (if poss) and he will be gone by Xmas...along with his mate.

DEADLY SERIOUS

Much as our insubstantial party-politicians plead otherwise, in fear of psychological evisceration, governance IS all about personalities.

Good governance will only, ever, be approached when we find a formula for elevating mature, stable - in a word: WHOLE - individuals to high office.

In the light of the above, the people of Britain would be well served if the Brown - Mandelson rapprochement were teased out by a competent - non party - psychologist.
Even to an amateur like me, Brown is a fascinating case for study - so to speak.
He is, visibly, run ragged by his demons and needs and yet has all of us for Lego bricks, to build-up or throw across the room as is his whim.

Please, Newsnight, consider throwing some expert illumination on the shadow side of Brown's psyche; you might even employ the Mandelson Dark Lantern.

Speaking as is done, of a 'Government of All the Talents'.

The Minister for Dark Arts arrives and... coincidentally, time for a GOAT sacrifice or two.

The Party must be soooo proud.

Must be fun being a headhunter for high office types these days.

'Must be capable of swallowing pride, kissing ass(t.), principles and career goodbye... for the cause, you understand'.

That'll get the quality guys in.

GOAT OF MENDES - MANDELSON

Be careful when sacrificing goats! Peter might be less than pleased.

Do we have a sweepstake on how long he'll last this time?

The return of Mandelson to the government will certainly add interest to our daily diet of politics. Whatever your political persuasion it cannot be denied that he is a master strategist and he was by all accounts an effective minister. This government is jaded and seriously lacking focus so I will watch with interest to see whether a Brown/Mandelson alliance can pull the fat out of the fire for Labour.
On cabinet reshuffle, must say I am profoundly disappointed to see Hilary Benn still at Defra, he would be far better returning to his previous brief. Sorry Jeff Rooker didn't get the job he is well respected for the work he has done at the sharp end for agriculture.

Lord Mandy of Westmidden?

ROBIN GIT OF THE BROWNWOOD AND THE FAIR MAID MANDELSON

"Tell me, little Ed, cried Robin Git", trying to look merry with a false grin, "what manner of maid lies yonder?" "Oh sire," quoth Big Ed, brother to little Ed, "that is the Fair Maid Mandelson, and by repute none lies fairer." "By my Fiscal Rules! Fair is my favourite word for this part of the cycle. Bring the Fair Mandelson hard by." And so it was that word went out to all the land, Robin Git and Maid Mandelson were, henceforth an item, and Brownwood Forest was declared unsafe for anyone not carrying a large sum of money.

#15 barriesingleton

ROFL but sadly true.

Following Ms Kelly's abdication from pole position and "Duff" Gordon's reshuffle, my cut-out-and-keep "Portillo" list from the end of July is now outdated and so, as a public service, here is a revision including the "other cabinet attendees":

Rank, Swing, Incumbent, 2nd, Constituency
1, 3.37%, Jacqui Smith, Con, Redditch
2, 4.66%, Tony McNulty, Con, Harrow East
3, 6.52%, Margaret Beckett, LD, Derby South
4, 7.02%, Jim Murphy, Con, Renfrewshire East
5, 8.25%, Alistair Darling, Con, Edinburgh South West
6, 8.27%, John Hutton, Con, Barrow & Furness
7, 9.58%, Jack Straw, Con, Blackburn
8, 9.59%, Liam Byrne, LD, Birmingham Hodge Hill
9, 10.76%, John Denham, Con, Southampton Itchen
10, 11.82%, James Purnell, Con, Stalybridge & Hyde
11, 11.94%, Nick Brown, LD, Newcastle East & Wallsend
12, 12.15%, Geoff Hoon, Con, Ashfield
13, 13.12%, Shaun Woodward, LD, St Helens South
14, 13.37%, Ed Balls, Con, Normanton
15, 16.99%, Alan Johnson, LD, Hull West & Hessle
16, 17.48%, Douglas Alexander, LD, Paisley & Renfrewshire South
17, 17.58%, Hazel Blears, LD, Salford
18, 20.04%, Ed Miliband, Con, Doncaster North
19, 20.33%, Hilary Benn, LD, Leeds Central
20, 20.38%, David Miliband, LD, South Shields
21, 20.56%, Paul Murphy, Con, Torfaen
22, 21.79%, Gordon Brown, SNP, Kirkcaldy & Cowdenbeath
23, 23.14%, Yvette Cooper , Con, Pontefract & Castleford
24, 23.26%, Harriet Harman, LD, Camberwell & Peckham
25, 23.67%, Andy Burnham, Con, Leigh

The list may look a mess but should copy and paste into any spreadsheet program as CSV. The column headed 2nd shows the party of the runner-up in 2005, who need the stated Swing to prevail next time.

Note that the new SoS for Scotland is just off the podium in 4th and that all of the point scorers down to Liam Byrne can be removed by less than a 10% swing.

Mandy, of course, will be cheering the starters on from the pits.

Perhaps Lord Meddlesome of Shore (up) Ditch? I believe that he was greeted by raucous applause by civil servants? I am not surprised as he will be able to save them a lot of trouble by circumventing the passport applications of those slightly dodgy folks who want get out of the country quick?

Bringing back Mr Spin will have John Smith spinning in his grave.

Darling says that there is no problem betwixt himself and Mandy? So the rumours were all lies? That is so unlike politicians!

I wonder if Gondor Broon (son of Borrow-more) will be be asking Tory Blair (son of Thatcher) to give a hand as well? As a friend of the Pope he could borrow a few bob off him.

Sean Smug about capitalism shooting itself in our foot, but scared stiff at the prospect of "The return of Mandy"

SOMETHING UNDERSTOOD

Thanks Browndov. Though, as I read each successive name, and their 'personality' and general performance in vacuous wittering, question avoidance and defence of the indefensible, feeds into my being, I feel myself shrivelling by degrees.

All I can say is: NONE OF THE ABOVE!

#19 barriesingleton

You're not wrong.

How about Attis ?

Here is a god acustomed to death and rebirth, who coincidentally unmanned himself too.

( ref James George Fraser , Golden Bough chap 9 )

I suspect Peter may well end up fulfilling The Golden Bough's thesis - He get's given temporary pseudo power to divert attention the true Monarch's ( Brown) inability to control nature.

At the end of the temporary reign Peter will be sacrificed as scapegoat having taken onboard all the perceived sins of the Monarch who assumes his supremacy once more.

Attis according to legend was killed by a boar. Watch out !!

Lord Machiavelli of Mortgage-Land?

How come in all the smartie arsie remarks about Peter Mandelson, his robe, his name etc, the 'clever' media have missed completely what his focus is - the international trade agenda.

For instance we were signed up this week (note the passive form of the verb - we had no say in it or information on it) to an EU/Caribbean Economic Partnership Agreement.

Significance for UK????

Thanks for the info - not!

Between 'political' reporting, 'EU' reporting and 'Economic' reporting - just whose job is it to report on this overriding agenda? Or does it always fall into the hole of silence - so the govt can get away with anything?

Seems so.

He certainly makes politics more interesting.What does that say about the labour/conservative and throw in the liberal front benches.
The kind of man that leaves you wondering what is he up to now.
A distinct advantage in politics as the opposition is immediately on the back foot.
Could he one day Lead the labour party.It would make Lazarus look like a layabout.