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A fascinating insight into 11 Downing Street

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Paul Mason | 16:44 UK time, Friday, 27 November 2009

There is a superb example of the way the government is embracing Web 2.0. I have just seen a tweet from #hmtreasury pointing to the fact that there is now a bunch of photos of 11 Downing Street on flickr.

If you click through to them you will see a series of the kind of Marie Celeste style photos of stately homes that upmarket estate agents have put online when some member of the aristocracy has had their property seized.

You can see the 19th Century prints that line the staircase; the original Low cartoons from World War II making fun of politicians and situations we have long forgotten.

There are no people. Every surface has been polished, but no people.

I can attest to the fact the photos are genuine because I have been inside No11 for the various drinks parties Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling have thrown there; and memorably stood on those very stairs as Mr Darling's special adviser tried to explain to us the legal basis for the chancellor's decision to guarantee all savings in Northern Rock; oh and traipsed through the subterranean passageways as the PM and chancellor bailed out the banks.

These rooms have been the scene of some of the most testosterone driven crisis meetings of modern economic history - the sacking of Fred Goodwin and Andy Hornby, the Northern Rock bailout, and who knows what else? Not to mention the all-night curry sessions that have kept the chancellor's two favourite tandoori restaurants in the black during the downturn.

Now what would be really Web 2.0 would be to put a Skyped up camera in these rooms and leave it running. Taking photos of empty rooms and uploading them to flickr and then alerting everybody on Twitter seem a little, well, er - shouldn't they be busy organising a new round of efficiency savings?

Alternatively we could liven things up by using the pictures as the backdrop for silly photomontages depicting the events described above. In a moment of ennui during my 12 hour shift working on tonight's programme, I have given it a go. Captions please?

sceneinsideno11.jpg

Comments

  • Comment number 1.

    Geez Mervyn ... with that secret hand out to the banks, our forecast quantitative easing requirement for this week factors out at £500 bilion!

  • Comment number 2.

    Technically speaking those architectural photographs are rather bad.

  • Comment number 3.

    A selection for you:

    '' Merv S&P have just downgraded UK plc to AA+ after our banks true exposure to Dubai has leaked...what the **** are we going to do now''!!!!

    or how about

    ''Its the end..Gordon has called in the president of iceland to give us advice...here he comes.. RUN FOR IT''

    and finally

    ''I knew it was a mistake combining an all night curry session with policy debate on QE with Gordon with his comfort eating habits... Merv get the mop and bleach will you, we better clean this up before the cleaners see it and sell the story to the Daily Mail....on second thoughts...where are the Millibands? ''











  • Comment number 4.

    When I said "large print" I meant the BOOKS.

  • Comment number 5.

    'Took one look at what Kirsty was waring, decided I didn't want another migraine and went to bed.'

  • Comment number 6.

    "Oh no Mervyn not again!"
    "Chancellor?"
    "Those bankers have eaten all our poppadums!"

  • Comment number 7.

    "We may need more emergency liquidity assistance, the Chancellor's ordered the vindaloo."


    "Saag Aloo Mervyn?"
    "No thanks Chancellor, it gives me quantitative easing."


    Late one night at 11 Downing Street after a large Indian take-away has been consumed.
    PARP!
    "Now that's what I call quantitative easing."


    "I see the FTSE fell following news from the United Arab Emirates."
    "Dubai dip?"
    "Just raita, please."


    "Alistair Darling"
    "Yes Mervyn my love."


    "Is that garlic Naan?"
    "No I think it's Tessa Jowell."

  • Comment number 8.

    "I'm having trouble with the Newsnight economics editor."
    "Mason?"
    "No I tried the secret handshake, but got no response."


    "Alistair, pass me those economic forecasts along with the pictures of Sir Fred Goodwin and the Tory front bench and that copy of the Sun newspaper."
    "There you are Gordon, but don't you think it's time we went back to using Andrex."


    "I understand why you bought a copy of the FT, but why those copies of the Sun newspaper?"
    "We've run out of loo paper and the all-night store didn't have any."


    After a fight breaks out between a banker and a treasury official...
    "Was that Kung Fu?"
    "Yes he's had four bottles of Cobra."

  • Comment number 9.



    ''Merv, I thought I told you to put 100 billion on black not red''!!


    ........

    Double or nothing on the 3:45 at Newbury? I got a tip from a guy in Dubai who knows about horses...aparently


  • Comment number 10.

    Clucking Bell Mervyn ! I said "£2oobn-then do buy bonds" not Dubai Bonds !

  • Comment number 11.

    Darling " We've got to get this right: are we printing gilts and issuing money or printing money and issuing gilts - and what the hell does counterfactual mean anyway"

  • Comment number 12.

    my final offering

    '' Oh my god we are in trouble now Merv, look whats coming down the hall.....its, its (shakey voice)...its our own realisation and acceptance of the true economic situation!!! Dont let it out of the building what ever you do Merv until after the next election'' !!!!

    #10 is pretty good actually it made me laugh in a humourous type way as oppose to a hysteria type way.

    Thanks for that ray of sunshine superiorsnapshot in gloomy times.

    Have a nice Sunday everyone.

  • Comment number 13.

    "I'm still rich, are you still rich?"
    "yes, very"
    "then stop being such a drama queen and help me plan for my lucrative retirement from politics!"

  • Comment number 14.

    Don't look round - it's either an exotic Ostritch, or a CanCan girl tying her shoelace.

  • Comment number 15.

    Mervyn!...please remove your hand from between my thighs!

  • Comment number 16.

    "Jeez, it's enough to make you want to tear your hair out!"

  • Comment number 17.

    "What? You've not read Mason's 'Meltdown' yet, Merv?"

    Just finished reading your book Paul. Awesome. Love the Simpsons 1/50 burger bit and reading the description of the heady days of Sept/Oct last yr brought it all back. My heart was racing again.

  • Comment number 18.

    Darling: TO THE BAT MOBILE!

    Merv: Oh God, not the Batman delusions again.

  • Comment number 19.

    Oh my God! He can afford razor blades!

  • Comment number 20.

    Pitchforks! Why do they always bring pitchforks?!

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