- 4 Sep 08, 12:34 PM
I spoke out against GB head coach Peter Suk at the Olympic Games and then retracted it on reflection in my blog later that day.
Since then, I've had more time to reflect and I stand by what I originally said and if a lot of things don't get better, I will pack it in and that's not me being a sore loser.
Concerns need to be raised for the benefit of the whole of GB archery - if we can push on, the funding will get there, if not, the sport goes back to no funding and fewer competitors.
The next three or four years are going to be interesting with London 2012 coming up - we should get more input into what we need to become world and Olympic champions.
I know I'm capable of winning Olympic medals, but I need to have the right support.
This is the first year since I turned senior in 2002 that I've not won a medal in target or field archery despite shooting better than ever.
That has been down to a lack of confidence and the mental side of things and things going on behind the scenes.
This year, everything was wrong in the build-up to the Olympics with the selections for the World Cup circuit.
If we bombed out in the first round of a competition, Peter would say don't worry - but confidence gets knocked if you're not doing well.
We need a do-or-die mentality - put everything in until your fingers bleed.
We weren't prepared properly.
I have no problem with Peter away from archery, but we have different methods within the sport.
Team morale was low at the Team GB holding camp in Macau but Peter said he expected that because of nerves and that it would be alright when we got to Beijing. But it wasn't and it was down to the team to try and lift ourselves when we should have been focusing on competing.
Since my quarter-final defeat at the Olympics, I have not spoken to Peter. He left for Korea straight after the competition; there was no de-brief as we have always had after every other event, which was a bit strange.
I have always worked with my own personal coach at home and things have always gone perfectly - I have always been in charge and every medal I've ever won I've done by learning how to approach different matches mentally.
This year, the confidence has been non-existant and by the time I was knocked out at the Olympics, it was the first time I had lost control in a match situation.
I want to emphasise though that I really enjoyed my first Olympics experience despite the problems.
We've got a meeting in October with all the British archers who competed at the Olympics and Paralympics which will hopefully sort some things out.
Before that I'm off to meet the Queen at Buckingham Palace as part of the big parade through London with all the other British Olympians on 16 October, which I'm really looking forward to.
Away from the competition, I had a great time in Beijing, spending time with my mates and going to watch other sports.
The best was watching - we went because we know a few of the gymnasts from training at Lilleshall - I've never been to a gymnasium hall, it was massive and the atmosphere was great, particularly when the Chinese were competing.
Beth was unlucky and, even though we didn't know much about the technical side, we thought her performance deserved third!
The athlete's village is not as mad as everyone makes out - there were a lot of people there who still hadn't competed when we had finished, so there is respect for everyone else.
It's a different story in the city though - the bars were rammed, mainly with Australians! I tended to stick with the archery lads and lasses from Australia, America and Canada as we all know each other through competing across the world - it was a brilliant experience.
Me and Larry Godfrey had a few good days enjoying ourselves but we had the option to come home a day early before the closing ceremony, so we did.
When I got home and saw the closing ceremony and the plane carrying the rest of the team, I thought it would have been nice to be on it, but then it was nice to arrive at Heathrow and slip through unnoticed.
Since I got back to Cumbria, I've had a bit of post-Olympics blues - out in Beijing we were living in a bubble and everything was done for you so we could enjoy ourselves and focus on our event.
But when we got back, nobody told us how hard it is to get back to reality.
I was back a couple of days before I resumed training and my next aim is to qualify for the British field archery team for the World Games next year.
Field archery is extreme archery - there is a course with 24 targets which can be up a cliff, down a cliff, or across a ravine and you shoot three arrows at each target. They are all different sizes and on day one you have to guess how far away they are. On day two, the distances are marked.
I use the same bow as for the target archery, just with lighter arrows - field archery has always been at my heart, I was number one in the world a few years back and I've won many medals including a World Games silver and World Team silver and I was also European junior champion.
I was hoping to be given a wildcard into the British team for the World Games as I used to dominate the sport, but they wouldn't accept me, so I'm training hard and I want to bang in some big scores at the first of two qualifiers next weekend in the north-east and prove a point.
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Alan Wills was talking to 成人论坛 Sport's Peter Scrivener.
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