Winning Hearts & Minds
I was at a training session for emerging leaders yesterday and one of the guest speakers was a judge from our state supreme court. After he finished his prepared remarks, I approached him to compliment him on his speech. We chatted for a bit and he stated that it was admirable that, despite the "bad hand" I had been dealt, I had become an attorney and had found work.
I never quite know how to react to comments like this. I know that it was intended as a compliment, but it reminds me that my disability circumscribes so many initial perceptions of me. In both my professional and personal lives, it is the visible manifestation of my disability that shapes the initial interactions I have with most people. And I sometimes get the impression that my educational and career achievements serve as a counterweight to the largely negative assumptions that most people seem to have about disabilities as significant as mine. When I mention I'm an attorney or that I have a full-time job to someone I've just met, I notice subtle shifts in how I'm treated. The condescension ratchets back a couple degrees and communication is less likely to be directed at whomever is my companion at the time. It's as if revealing those facts about me somehow elevates my status. I'm no longer just a poor guy in a wheelchair. I'm a poor guy in a wheelchair with an attorney's license.
I've learned to use my credentials to my advantage. A casual mention of my profession can sometimes force people who might otherwise ignore me to give me some attention and respect. But it shouldn't be this way. Because every time I find myself doing that, I feel like the outsider more than ever.
I don't see anything particularly commendable or meritorious about the career path I took. I chose law for a lot of reasons, but not because I was seeking praise. If my accomplishments are seen as noteworthy or--gulp--inspirational, that's an indictment of a society that marginalizes and excludes so many talented people with disabilities who, if not for a host of systemic barriers and the soft prejudice of low expectations, could do brilliant things that would make me look like an average schmuck.
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Comments
I am a docter. Now retired on medical reasons (I have Muliple Sclerosis).
My husband has left me after 27years for a fitter woman. I thought we would be together for ever. What chance have I got of finding anyone else?
Help me plese me to come to terms with this.
Amanda
What happens if he's presiding over a disability discrimination case? Is he going to find in favour of the plaintiff because he feels sorry for them?