is looking into why yesterday's postcards didn't work. And I have now officially given up on trying to get the newsletter to work. There will be no more. Sorry.
The 成人论坛: today's technology at some point in the future. But we're in a meeting, sorry.
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Awww Eddie, you can't give up on the newsletter. Brightens up my day it does!
SB1 but that would be a shock.
E - d - d - i - eeeeeeeeeee
Why so upset? Technology is just like that, and it isn't your fault, so please calm down now. Lissa will do her best, or call in the techies, and I'm sure we'll all rally around in support of the No-Newsletter.
As your mum would doubtless say: "Rise up the problems. They aren't worth it".
But the blog is.
Note to Lissa: Could you arrange a bit of aromatherapy for Eddie?
Well, I guess we may have to find an alternative blog, guys. I've had a quick scout around and found the following, which seems a bit quiet at the moment. And Scottish. And bizarre. Shall we give it a go?
/scotland/musicscotland/bbcsso/blog/
PS Eddie: We still all rather "blog along" with you, but you do seem a bit terse today.
Quick Eddie needs cheering up!
Can you imagine what the programme will be like if someone doesn't put a smile on his face.
Eddie, did you hear the one about the woman who walked into the hairdressers and said she wanted to look like Barbara Streisand. So the hairdresser got a mallet out and hit her on the nose with it.
Is he smiling Lissa? Oh well sod him!
Nyah HAAAAAAAAAH AAAAHHHH HAAAAAAH HAAAAAAAAH AAAAHHHH *cough*!
PM Newsletter: An obituary.
Today the 成人论坛 announced that after a long illness the popular PM Newsletter had died.
The newsletters father/creator, Mr Eddie Mair, broke the news on the PM blog. Apologising, Mr Mair explained that the newsletter's illness had become terminal and that the doctors had, after consultation with the family, decided to switch off the life support systems and let nature take it's course. The newsletter passed away peacefully over night.
PM is survived by it's child, the blog.
The family have requested no flowers.
RIP
Oh dear, how disappointing. It was the only thing that made me feel loved.
I don鈥檛 even get those e-mails about Viagra: that鈥檚 how unused my in-box is.
As E. J . Thribb would have it:-
So, farewell, then,
PM Newsletter.
鈥淪ee you on the ice at five,鈥
That was your catchphrase.
And now you鈥檝e been iced,
In the American sense
I am surrounded at my desk by glue, magic markers and large sheets of card.
Yes, I'm coming out of retirement as an activist, and starting a protest march. It will start at my nearest 成人论坛 station in Northampton, then head for Broadcasting House. Should get there by 5, I reckon.
Take your pick from these I've already knocked up:
* NEWSLATER FOREVER *
* BETTER LATE THAN NEVER *
* HOW HARD CAN IT BE? *
Further suggestions on a pointless postcard please.
Well no more Newsletter -- and the blog postings are slowing down so odds are that the blog will be the next on the list to go.
I dare say Joe will pop up and inform us that Mr Evan's newsletter was delivered on time.
Mrs Trellis :- See you on the beach this afternoon, I want to explore the dunes today before sundown.
BigSis:- xx
With e-newsletters, the sending is normally the easy bit.
Therefore, in my professional capacity (not visible via the website link) I am offering to send the bally thing for you.
The 成人论坛 need only vet me so you know I won't go flogging all our email addresses to some shady Bolivian spam merchant, and I won't even charge a fee.
I never thought I'd see Eric throw his rattle out the pram like that. Get a grip, man!
WOT? No more?
Have you escaped from your matchbox again, Alexander? Bad nanny.
I have come over all suspicious again, despite previous assurances from Eddie that this is his own fun way of blogging about nothing in particular.
Oh dear me no! Today's blog sounds remarkably terminal. I think he wants to get rid of us all. What with that and no newsletter - well, that's my life at an end!
Surely we proved we could all blog seriously if required? So why are we being abandoned?
Sorry - he's in a meeting.
If he doesn't come back perhaps we should go and hijack Chris Evans' blog!
Eddie, NOOOOOO!!!!!! You must persevere. We know that it's not something you or Lissa have done. It's something the IT guys have done. We also know that other newsletters from Auntie do arrive (WATO, BH, etc) so the IT bods should be able to look into what the differences are and work out why the newsletter hasn't worked these last couple of weeks. It's something simple like they moved the email list ot a different server and forgot to upate a look-up table. Don't give up yet!!!
BWAH!!!!!!!!!!
That last one was so brilliant, I suppose you do need to leave time for us to forget just how good they could be, before starting up again.
Still going to miss them though.
Be Back Soon?
I suspect the newsletter has been sabotaged by Chris Evans and his acolytes, or his microlites. Please don鈥檛 let him win.
Breaking news
鈥楳edia celebrity鈥 and broadcaster Chris Evans was arrested today for perverting the course of technological progress at the 成人论坛. He refused to make a statement to the press, but Metropolitan Police Commissioner Ric E Muir told journalists that Mr Evans could expect a long custodial sentence. Don鈥檛 forget your toothbrush...
Sara without a life (12)
By jove, I think you've hit on something.
As an experiment, shall we try being serious again about something?
There's plenty of depressing and annoying news today, let's face it.
Who wants to go first?
Fifi
I agree. We need to mobalise. Might I suggest to all froggers what we need to drop our dear leader an email or 2. I will not go down without a fight (oh-oh. Its double-entendre time again).
Come on people.
Eddie, if your worried about it always being late when it's supposed to be a "news"letter just change it's name and call it "history"letter instead. You know it is the fact you care enough to send one out that matters not what time it hits my inbox.
All together now:
What do we want?...........The newsletter!
When do we want it?.......Whenever really, were not fussy. :o)
Well my first blog (on Apologies) has not appeared at all. I'm not the only one complaining that the frog forgets us, doesn't post some of our posts, and now no more newsletter.
Like Fifi, in another capacity I send out newsletters. I run my own blog (where underline, bold etc actually work).
It's not rocket science, 成人论坛 coders. Come on, get it sorted so Eddie can newsletter and blog away.
As I'm in exile from the beach (too many double entendres, apparently), will see you later when you get back.
WHEN you all come out of your meeting, perhaps you could let the blog know what is going on here?
It seems rather sad that a "good idea", and what has proven to be the No.1 成人论坛 Blog, has fallen victim to a combination of technological problems and uncharacteristically PriMadonna-like behaviour by we-know-who.
C'mon, Eddie, get a grip!
...I forgot to say in the last post that the strapline today
"Proof that knowledge is impotence"
is rather apposite :-(
Eddie,
Just to add my voice to the others. I know it's Friday and perhaps you've had a bad week, but please don't let it get you down.
No newsletter today, no blog tomorrow? Our real (and surreal) lives would never be the same again.
We'll all chip in with walnut whips and things for the coolbox to give to the IT department if that will help.
Hey! I just looked at the PM front page and you can still subscribe! We can rebulid it. Better, stronger, faster...the world's first bionic blog.
Somebody contact Oscar Goldberg!
I'm just about to email this to PM. Feel free to pinch bits for yours.
Go, people, go!
Fifi
Now look. You've created this community of thinkers, and you're worrying them now. Are you having trouble justifying all this internet nonsense? Let me help:
The PM newsletter and blog have the potential to develop PM so that it's even more influential than Today. Why? Because the 5-6pm slot means you can tap into the intelligent reactions of listeners during the day. Today can't do that: while they're putting it together most of the listeners are asleep!
You know the media/listener attention span for a story is short. There is a short period in which opinions are formed and fixed, before people get bored and move on to the next thing. We're all fed-up with so-called 'expert' talking heads who spout the party (or professional) line and contribute nothing new. Often the most telling comments on PM have come via listener emails ... and how stuffy and leaden Today sounds by comparison these days! PM has sparkle, even though it's current affairs -- which many people assume is either boring or difficult to grasp.
People in my line of work (I am ashamed to say) have trained the politicians how to withstand the blunt instruments of Messrs Humphrys and Paxman in an interview situation. These days that technique only works with people who haven't had the training. We the listeners are bored stiff, listening to this verbal slapstick now. I'd rather listen to Janet & John while I'm waking up, thank you, than be wound up by people shouting at each other.
What you do, politely and with an audible twinkle in your eye, is both informative AND entertaining ... perfect recipe for today's media, in fact. And involving the listeners is a masterstroke. The newsletter gives those of us who're already interested a heads-up on the stories we're going to make a point of catching later in the programme.
I used to disapprove of this culture news programmes have developed of saying: 'Tell us what you think...' all the time. I wanted the news to tell me things. And the comments you get on TV news programmes are almost uniformly garbage: ill informed, illiterate, inarticulate. PM's changed my mind.
So, pay heed young Mr Mair. The Fi-ster has spoken, on behalf of many bloggers and I suspect many listeners. You want more Sonys? Then treasure the newsletter and the blog. And don't let Chris Evans (aka Joe) pull your pl*nker.
Fifi
Alexander Beetle (7)
If you need spams to make you feel loved, contact me via the website and I'll forward all mine to you for a free trial period.
You'll hate it. Guaranteed!
;o)
Oh fifi
that is the best, most wonderful, insightful and perfectly worded blog that I have ever read. It said everything that I think but would never be able to put so suscinctly.
Thank you and I have emailed Eddie twice so far today and will be continuing until we get a human response from the man himself on this very blog!
Eddie...TALK TO US, we deserve at least that much!
Fifi (24)
Have emailed PM saying I support what you said in your blog entry.
Now I *really* must go, got to get to Reading...
According the the *only* newsletter I ever got (and probably the last, sniff) it came from somewhere called PM@dev1.reith.bbc.co.uk
That's yer problem, Eddie, relying on a dead Director General to forward your newsletter.
Perhaps going for birt.bbc.co.uk (long wordy newsletters), dyke.bbc.co.uk (short expletive-rich newsletters) would be better.
Or maybe the current incumbent is just miffed that he hasn't been honoured by having a server named after him?
Just a thought
-- Paul H
...I see that at last you've taken the right decision in respect of the Newsletter Eddie.
Life's far too short to waste time... I, for example, have always believed in, and acted upon, my own family motto:
"If at first you don't succeed, Quit !"
And look what that's done for me... Well, maybe better not.
But before you finally give-up on the beast, may I suggest one last avenue to explore?
Bung young Rupert a-fiver and say you're sorry etc.
If that revives the newsletter and it's timely arrival, which I suspect it will, I'll go halves with you on what will have been an outrageous, but worthwhile expense. And, we'll get value for money berating Rupert for the next 50 years, so all will not have been lost.
Anyway, Lissa's taking a peek at the postcard problem. Good. Could also be a simple solution.
Like the one I heard of last week...
A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the "Chicken Surprise."
The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.
Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.
"Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband.
He hadn't, so she asks him to look in the pot.
He reaches for it and as he's about to grab the lid, it rises, and, he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down.
Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.
"Please sir," says the waiter, "what did you order?"
The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise."
The waiter replies
"Ah... sorry, I brought you Peeking Duck.
I'm with you Fifi - couldn't have put it better myself........... From a fellow fi-ster!
Am off to cut out some old cornflake packets and get my stickY tape at the ready to make my protest banner for the march on the beeb
WE WILL NOT BE DEFEATED, GIVE US OUR NEWSLETTER BACK!!!
Fifi (24)
Perfect.
I have written, but earlier and not nearly so well.
Might even write again just to endorse all you've said.
...somebody called..? (23)
Paul H. (28)
Absolutely with you. Moreover where I used to work any server with a name beginning 'dev1' would have been a development server not a production one.
Has the Beeb been saving money by shifting the PM newletter off onto that old machine in the corner that's only used by contract programmers for repairing forgotten programs written in Fortran or Algol.
Or should that be for repairing programmes.
Lissa was on the beach just now!
Thank you for explaining to us what was happening I (we all) really appreciate that.
The milky-bars/walnut whips/beverage of your choice are on me!
For PM and Lissa: the 成人论坛, PM Newletter, and PM Blog = LIBERTY AND SANITY IN A WORLD THAT HAS NEITHER.
Mrs Trellis (18).
Duly sent. Although not quite as long as Fifi's :)
Fifi, what, pray, is a "pl*nker"..?
Oh, and why would someone called Mr Mair allow someone else called Chris Evans (aka Joe) to pull it..?
This campaign is coming together nicely. And now Lissa has intervened with a heartfelt apology and - more importantly - explanation of what's going on.
I think it's working. :o)
Come on your other bloggers, join the fight! If you can't think of anything new to say, just email the programme with
'I support what Fifi and the others are saying about the newsletter'
and you'll have done your bit.
When Eddie finds out we're all chaining ourselves to the 成人论坛 railings, he'll be touched to the quick.
* PM: where even a broken newsletter is news *
This campaign is coming together nicely. And now Lissa has intervened with a heartfelt apology and - more importantly - explanation of what's going on.
I think it's working. :o)
Come on you other bloggers, join the fight! If you can't think of anything new to say, just email the programme with
'I support what Fifi and the others are saying about the newsletter'
and you'll have done your bit.
When Eddie finds out we're all chaining ourselves to the 成人论坛 railings, he'll be touched to the quick.
* PM: where even a broken newsletter is news *
Oh dear oh dear, once again I go away for a few days & check up on the blog to find there is a riot going on. I came back from a camping trip to the desert this afternoon feeling relaxed & at peace with the world. Now I hear Eddie has let "them" pull the plug on the newsletter. Or was it his decision? Crisis time. Don't do it Eddie! We love the newsletter, & we're scared the rug may be pulled from under our feet blog wise too. Fifi, evrything you wrote was true & beautifully put. Grade A ** in the "How the Media Influences the People" module of our on-line media studies course. (We're all enrolled, by the way, like it or not. Govrnment policy)
...Okay Lissa, a joke's a joke. Well, maybe not the one's I send to the blog but there I was, reading my Chicken Surprise right beneath (fifi 24) when the page changed and my "Chicken" was gone...
Eaten by young Rupert perhaps?
I wonder, is one of your web-techies working on the site as we blog and putting-up old page "images" instead of the current pages?
I believe a guy called Jim might fix-it...
...Mmm, I'm back now...
Didn't the good Dr Hackenbush suffer a similar fate yesterday..?
...and again Lissa...
Dear Piper (37)
A pl*nker is another word for a plectrum, the thing you plunk guitar strings with. Well, it is in this house. And I certainly wouldn't want Chris Evans anywhere near mine.
;oD
While I'm here, ta Stu for alerting me to the dodgy website address I've been posting here. The .uk is duly restored.
...y'know Mrs Trellis, Eddie might just be baiting us, saying there's to be no further PM Newsletter.
I'm sure, for example, he's been baiting me for days... Have you noticed under the heading on this page: "成人论坛 Blog Network"
it says, quite clearly "Nick Robinson (Political Editor).
It's tempting you know. I might just do it - nick Mr Robinson the Political Editor that is.
At least the Beeb'll know where he is and I'll get my news first-hand. It becomes ever more tempting...
Hi ya piper,
as per usual I have "borrowed" your joke today and palmed it off to friends and family as my own. I must say you are very generously making me out to be wind-swept and interesting and for that I thank you.
BTW your chicken joke is back and still just as funny.
FYI I used to have a Nick Robinson of my own but wouldn't recommend it as mine kept going wrong and in the end had to be traded in for a more reliable model. Still I did get a fiver on eBay for it so it wasn't a complete loss :o)
Right, back to the beach for me. Much too cold and wet in October
I would much rather get the newsletter at 8:15pm the day after broadcast than not receive it at all. So what if it is a bit haphazard. In some bizarre way, it adds to the fun.
P.S. I suspect that you might be falling for the age old trick by IT departments whereby they convince you that any problems are your fault. When they start babbling techy nonsense at you, just interrupt them and say "Look, none of this is the slightest concern to me. Either you make it work or I'll call your boss and ask them to send me someone else as you clearly don't know what you are doing". That normally does the trick.
I think it was all a put-up job. You didn't have the heart to come straight out and tell us that the newsletter was getting too much of a strain, so you cooked up this transparently bogus scheme to try to let us down gently.
...I'm with you now Fifi (44)...
Tell me, is the word "Plectrum" pronounced as spelt?
I was wondering if there's any co-relation to that word and the reason why don't you hear anything when a Pterodactyl goes to the toilet?
Because the "p" is silent..?
That's got to be a first. I now find myself posted in duplicate at (38) and (39)!
Not that I'm complaining. Oh, no.
Too scared of upsetting that big bruiser Eric again. If he can beat up his own staff, what might he do to us mere froggers?
I tremble.
Eddie,
Come on, now. You can鈥檛 stop sending out the newsletter. We all love it, even when it doesn鈥檛 arrive. In fact, some days it鈥檚 even better when it doesn鈥檛 arrive, 鈥榗os then we can make up our own content. How much more interactive can you get than that?
I know it must be a huge frustration that your hard worked sentences disappear into the e-ether, and maybe you could piggy-back them onto the BH newsletter for a while, in an omnibus edition.
Horrified to find all this going on when I come back from Busy Friday. Keep us posted Eddie - you know we're worth it!
We've only just signed up for it, and it's gone already.
We're off to find some little weed, Man.
re 53
Okay, someone has to say it.....
"As long as you clean it up after, bill'n'ben!"
I have been up since 5.15AM after only 4 hours of sleep and have since had a very busy day. I am therefore depressed and irritable about all this no-newsletter and broken blog business.
I can't handle it. I'll come back when it's fixed. Missing you all already :(
Oh Appy:( I'm sorry you're depressed and tired... Here's a hug to keep you going. I think Ediie had a bad morning, so we have to let him off. Why not go to the beach to hang out a bit and relax...
Aperitif
We have not spoke much as I am fairly new but judging form previous comments you are loved by many here.
I send a hug too.
Hi all,
was this the right blog to post about newsletters...?
sorry - its late and Friday and I'm ker-nackered.
anyway, I didn't ask for a newsletter to be told what was coming up in the show - that would be utterly pointless and where "Snowmail" completely failed ("tonight hear about... " like i give a monkey's)
I signed up to hear about the trevails of getting interviews with people, to hear about the personalities behind the personas and the politik behind the politics.
Don't make the newsletter a "what's coming up" but instead a "why we did" and "why we didn't".
as well as a "you wouldn't ber-lieeeve!"
Dear Piper, thank you for the chicken joke it made me LOL even at this hour, and so did the other jokes and comments.
I share the distress about the disappearing newsletter. It wasn't the newsy bits I appreciated but the comments.
Hey Eddie - not trying to rub it in, but I got my Newsletter from Shaun Ley - bang on time as usual. Why not contract out to the WATO team?
John F
Fearless (56)
REALLY!
"Why not go to the beach to hang out a bit ... "
I thought that the double entendre was banned except on the beach,
I only peeped in to check that it hasn't gone all together, and wasn't going to frog, but I have to say thanks for the hugs Fearless and Mrs Trellis.
We haven't really spoken much have we, Mrs Trellis? You have become a regular whilst I have been having a busy week and not had much time to log on (as opposed to previous busy weeks when I was tied to my laptop and logged on just about hourly for light relief). This is entirely my fault and so let me say a belated welcome and that, having heard your letters to ISIHAC over the years, it's really nice to finally meet you.
I have to do a couple things now and then go out, but I'll check back later to see whether this blog is still here. Sniff :(
..Rosalind (59) your comments are most kind and I apologise for not responding sooner.
However, I have an excuse...
On the Jim'll Fix It Blog, as you'll see, we've been leaked highly privileged, confidential information about a fellow(?) Blog correspondent (someone very high-up in the social strata. in fact, the highest!) by no less than a highly respected, deeply "embedded" Beeb mole. Or, should that be moll(?)
Anyway, the leak has enabled us to determine why there have recently been Newsletter and Blog problems and importantly, why matters will get better!
I know you wouldn't expect me to name our source Rosalind so I'll refer to s/he as Lissa.
With confusion as to whether we've got a female or male "hooked", added to which there's a clearly misspelt, made-up name involved, I doubt even such a highly experienced Beeb presenter such as Shaun Ley, were he even to know, be able to get the pronunciation right...
I'm confident our source remains secure and leaks will continue...
Hi Appy, hope your weekend revives you, it's sad to hear you being quiet...
..maybe, in the interests of complete anonymity, we should only refer to the source as "Deep-Croak"...
I hear a lot of people being quiet at the moment.
Hi everyone. I was on the beach a few days ago but I must have missed you all. I did see a green turtle laying eggs in a very deep hole about midnight though. (I am not making this up) Perhaps you had all gone home by then?
Glad to see all the activists are keeping the newsletter saga up to speed. I think a broken newsletter should be making news. In fact probably warrants its own slot on Today or WATO. Possibly a petition to Downing Street? I certainly loved the "behind the scenes" gossip. Things are most interesting when they go wrong. And sometimes crises are so amazing you have to share them with other people. Perhaps it was all getting a bit too subversive for the Powers that Be, & a conspiracy was arranged to kill off the newslertter. Eddie revealing previously-unknown shortcomings in the beeb to the general public? Dangerous stuff. Best tell him the technology can't cope, & stop his embarassing revelations.
Call me a conspiracy theorist but...sssshhh - they're coming. Don't tell anyone I was here.
Bye
Oh Annasee, glad to find you here, can you bring your harp to the beach tonight (we can rig up some kind of shelter to keep it from elemental damage), we need it for a special song for Fearless at midnight? Let me know if that's going to be ok.
Oh Valp! I'm trying to be low key about all of this... Are you trying to make me blush?!?
Dear Piper,
but I am an egalitarian through and through. I don't care who 'dictates', let them stay in line.
FFred, no I'm not but you had the party for Appy, which I missed, so I think it's only right you have one too. Low-key if you wish, but we'll be with you anyway! :o))
The typeface of your page is so tiny as to be unintelligible. Is this the fault of my PC or is this universal?
H.Rosser