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Newsweek Scotland: A letter to Rupert...

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Derek Bateman Derek Bateman | 16:10 UK time, Friday, 5 August 2011

Instead of a blog this week I'd like to publish this exchange of correspondence.

Newsweek Scotland

Pacific Quay

Glasgow


Dear Rupert,

It was a great pleasure to make acquaintance with your newspapers again this week, in particular the Times which I found especially enlightening. As always, it was entertaining and insightful and I always find spending time with the paper to be invigorating and challenging. As a way of saying thank you for this publication, I'd like to invite you to a prestigious and traditional Scottish event held annually.

It is my daughter's summer fete and sale in Hyndland in Glasgow which raises money for a local charity. You will be guest of honour and I can arrange one-to-ones with Hannah and her nursery school staff. I can make you a gift of a specially wrapped pack of tablet to mark the event. Hannah is already acquainted with your work through the kids channel in our sky family package. Only yesterday she asked: When can I meet Uncle Rupert? I can also arrange for you to appear on the ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ flagship news programme Newsweek Scotland. If there's anything I can do, please get in touch.

Yours aye

Derek

Dear Derek,


Rupert is too busy to bother with pond life like you. Tell Hannah she can upgrade to HD for £10 a month.


Yours


The mail room staff


So there it is. It's all out in the open now. There is no hiding place for those of us who rub shoulders with the rich and powerful. This momentous event clearly requires further elucidation and all will be revealed in tomorrow's programme.

Also we suggest some practical solutions to the ever more ludicrous sovereign debt problem in which countries owe each other money. Should we follow the bank bail-out principles and save them or let 'em go to the wall like Lehman Brothers? We catch up with events in Egypt and Syria and look for signs of process towards democracy in the Mubarak trial and the total collapse of credibility of Assad in Syria. It all makes you wonder too about our policy on foreign aid and who gets it. Does it shore up corrupt and dangerous regimes. Oh yes. But does enough get to those in need. Also, yes. Mostly. We have a debate on this tricky subject.

We look at puzzles and crosswords. Why can I do a crossword but can't even begin Sudoku? I fear the bank manager knows the answer to that one.

And just in case you think it's all a bundle of laughs, we look back at which is 50 years old. Funny, but nobody's suggesting we kill it off!

Join me tomorrow at 8. Must fly. Rupert's on the line....

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