I dunno about you lot but this winter feels a bit nippier than recent ones. Last Saturday it wasn't much fun getting up for the Blue Bell's match.
Some of the younger lads in our team have been letting the side down a bit, mind. They've got skill, pace and quick feet but do they really need mittens? They were brought up here in the North-East, home of the 10 B&H rolled into the cap-sleeved T-shirt in mid-Jan.
One of them polled up in a pair of piggin' tights before Christmas! All right, not the sheer American tan type but it still made him look part-Shakespearean and a right jessie.
Read the rest of this entry
Am I alone in not knowing what to make of Rafael Benitez?
The Blue Bell regulars up here insist the bloke's done pretty good bagging trophies and reaching finals... me, I can't help feeling he has one thing going for him - Steven Gerrard.
You think of the trophies Stevie G has won almost single-handedly - the Champs League, the FA Cup - Liverpool would have been on the thick end of a hiding if it wasn't for He of the Low Hairline.
Read the rest of this entry
Why is it that some clubs appear to spend season after season with a gun aimed firmly at their own feet?
While me and the boys at the Blue Bell enjoy Chelsea choking and Rafa's hissy fits, get riled by Fergie's fantastical claims of bias, and simultaneously drool and sneer at the fragile beauty of the Wenger boys - none of them are quite so reliable for copy as those regular back-page herberts, Manchester City, Tottenham Hotspur and me old favourites Newcastle United.
Now I've laid off the Geordie bottlers since KK was replaced by JFK. Desperate times call for desperate measures but the appointment of Joe Kinnear seemed beyond desperate. I mean how many barrels would you have had to look in before you found the one he was at the bottom of, eh?
Read the rest of this entry
While I was slating the fact that a man is on the verge of being bought for the GDP of Belgium by Man City, many of you shoulder-shruggers out there were claiming it was all down to jealousy.
While this is about the least grown-up response, it's certainly the case that I could do with summat to distract us from the actual football right now.
For those numpties out there who still think I support United/Liverpool or whoever I've not slagged off recently, let me assure you that I support Middlesbrough FC. Please note the single 'o'. The Boro (yeah I know that's two 'o's but we're pretty damn fickle up here) are currently playing tripe. The grass at the Riverside has never looked so luxuriant, 'cos every fortnight we cover it in horse dung..
Read the rest of this entry
So it's started - the men in the desert are swapping round their stickers and deciding which ones they want to buy.
Were I a sheikh in Abu Dhabi (and I'm glad I'm not 'cos I can't stand them sub-human temperatures or the freaky chill of air-conditioning) I'd be sending a little posse of henchmen off to Manchester United with the Securicor van loaded to the gills for the .
Kaka's not a bad place to start though, eh? But when they start talking about 90 million quid and the lad being on half a million a week, you just think well let's forget it. The Blue Bell can cut its Sky subscription, and we can get the crib board and dominoes out of the dusty cupboard behind the bar and just relax.
Read the rest of this entry
Oh Rafa. Not you 'n' all. With one , Benitez revealed how edgy and narked he's getting. And it's food and drink to the Glasgow Beetroot.
Mind you, Rafa should worry. The consensus in the Blue Bell is that the whole world is against the Boro. Anyone who thinks these late goals we keep conceding are anything other than an FA/Fergie conspiracy is in la-la land. OK, we have been a tad useless but let's not allow that to get in the way of some good old-fashioned paranoia.
As for Fergie, I do think he seems to slip out of the clutches of an FA fine more easily than most others. And all that guff about the Premier League fixture list - that it was somehow biased against United - was the biggest pile of hogwash he's uttered in years. It couldn't be more helpful if it bloody well tried!
Read the rest of this entry
Well that didn't take long, did it? Came in like a breath of fresh air, went out like a bad smell.
Remember that massive movie flop called . How long before they make KevinsGate and make all their money back?
Read the rest of this entry
What's the biggest surprise of the season so far? Difficult to say. Perhaps it's the fact that the Britannia Stadium touchlines are still more than a foot away from the edges of the penalty areas. Soon it'll be like one of them kiddy pitches where you go to take a corner and you're virtually in the box.
Probably it's Hull City, but you fear for them now Phil Brown's giving them . (Can't imagine McClaren doing that, can you? - 'I'm ever so cross with you after that first 45 minutes! Now all of you have a lie-down on the comfy sofas while I get you a banana smoothie each - and I give the ego masseur a call.')
Actually, Big Phil Scolari is turning into the big story. Chelsea were brilliant at the start of the season, but one bobbly deflection from Xabi Alonso (straight out of the Lampard collection 2005-6) and the wheels are looking distinctly wobbly.
Read the rest of this entry
It's time for Robbo to complete his predictions for 2009 (here's part one in case you missed it)!
So here comes his thoughts for the remainder of the new year...
Read the rest of this entry
I'm Derek Robson. People call me Robbo. Legend has it I was raised in the furnace and smog of Teesside. Some might say I took the hard road. I like to tell folk I had trials for Middlesbrough, for Hartlepool and for burglary (not guilty). I've always loved sport. My job is to say it as I see it - whether it's in the bar of the Blue Bell or on this blog. You won't find me calling a spade a soil-redistribution implement.
