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Tom Fordyce

For those about to rock, we salute you (32)

Marseille, Tuesday morning - 鈥淥h, what an atmosphere!鈥 Ben chirped this morning. 鈥淚 love a party with a happy atmosphere!鈥

I sighed. No man likes to be woken up by a semi-naked rugby fan from , particularly when he鈥檚 dancing around singing lines from his favourite songs - but for once Dirsy had a point.

After four weeks of phoney wars and soggy squibs, the party feels like it鈥檚 truly about to start.

Gone are the dank industrial estates of , the soulless campsites of Gradignac and the lonely nights staring silently at the faux-wood walls of the battered Bloggernaut

In their place, the cloudless skies of , a cheeky parking-spot within kicking distance of the sea and fans of so many different nationalities that we feel like starry-eyed extras in a Benetton advert.

Follow Tom and Ben's route around France.gif

What plans do you have for this weekend? A night in watching back-to-back episodes of Two Pints of Lager, a trip to the council dump to get rid of your old sofa and a heavy, heavy heart on Sunday night as you contemplate the start of another dismal week of work?

It makes me almost weep to type such words.

What if, instead, you were to load a hip-flask and spare pair of y-fronts into your washbag, wave goodbye to the miserable streets of Blighty and get yourself down to the south of France for the biggest rugby weekender of the century?

Fanciful? Perhaps. Impossible? No way.

If you鈥檙e worried about tickets, don鈥檛 be. At every game we鈥檝e been to so far, you can鈥檛 move for touts 鈥 and if you wait until the national anthems are being played, you can pick up a smashing seat for less than the price of a taxi ride back home.

Accommodation? Marseille鈥檚 massive. There鈥檚 a special car-park 15 minutes walk from the Stade Velodrome for campervans (head for La Plage and P2), hotels as far as the eye can see and night-time temperatures of 18 degrees if you want to sling your sleeping-bag on the beach.

Transport? If the flights are extravagant and overbooked, the can get you here from Paris in two and half hours. If you want to split the cost of a car-trip, chuck some chat at this blog and see who bites.

Hey 鈥 if you promise to clean Le Bloggernaut from top to bottom, both inside and out, Ben and I may even be able to find room for an extra passenger or two in our mobile guest house.

Your chances will probably be boosted if you鈥檙e called Sylvie or Crystalle and have a penchant for unwashed men in vests with cheese in their stubble, but like the , we鈥檙e ruling no-one out at the moment.

What we will almost certainly be looking for are participants to take part in a special international edition of our RWC 2007 game .

Regular readers will recall that the rules of Ubogu are simple: repeat the word 鈥淯bogu鈥 as many times as you can in a single breath.

It gives me great pleasure to announce that I set a new British, world and all-comers鈥 record in the event last night 鈥 a staggering 52.

Given that Ben鈥檚 best is a paltry nine, you can probably guess which one of us smokes 20 fags a day and which one likes swimming underwater.

I can also confirm that, while there was a following wind, it was well within the legal limit of two metres per second, and also probably the result of the dried fruit I had on my muesli that morning.


Tom Fordyce is a 成人论坛 Sport journalist travelling around France in a camper van with Ben Dirs.


Comments  Post your comment

  • 1.
  • At 12:57 PM on 02 Oct 2007,
  • tim wrote:

see you boys on Wednesday

might need to take you up on your offer as we do not as yet have a hotel for saturday night !

due to the fact we booked our tickets when we thought england were good we will be watching Fiji on sunday.

So if you would do some research on where we can get grass skirts from i would be most grateful !!

  • 2.
  • At 01:03 PM on 02 Oct 2007,
  • Ed wrote:

52! Damn thats annoying, I thought I was the mutts nuts with 47... Tom I suggest a showdown! As I doubt I'll be able to make it out to the South of France anytime soon, how about at a Triathlon of your choice when you're back?

  • 3.
  • At 01:08 PM on 02 Oct 2007,
  • Shazza wrote:

Tom, I'm beginning to wish I hadn't read your latest snippet whilst working on some boring spreadsheet.

I had just resigned myself to not heading down to Marseille as I've been looking for accomodation for the last 6 months and not had any luck. I now just feel like I should just hop on the old TGV and just chance it - the time off work is already booked, so I wouldn't even have to pull a sickie!

I hate to miss a good party, so if there is anyone out there with a spare piece of floor, or even better a bed perhaps you could let me know.

  • 4.
  • At 01:10 PM on 02 Oct 2007,
  • Jamie Pringle wrote:

Come on boys, give us some news on the QRs build-up, which fans are the most excited, expectations, etc. I'm hoping if England play well, we can run the (liked but seem to hate us) Ozzies.
Jamie
S-o-T.

  • 5.
  • At 01:11 PM on 02 Oct 2007,
  • Jim in Leeds wrote:

Schoolboy error inventing a new game Tommy - give it a couple of years and the Aussies will be kicking our rear ends at that too.

  • 6.
  • At 01:15 PM on 02 Oct 2007,
  • sammy wrote:

Ready this has really got me looking forward to the weekend.

Me and a mate are getting the train from London to Marseilles on Friday morning. We'll be in a bar by mid-afternoon.

Bring it on!

  • 7.
  • At 01:18 PM on 02 Oct 2007,
  • Paul King wrote:

Great article but I would change one thing - the title;

Should read "For those about to ruck we solute you"

Good eh!!

  • 8.
  • At 01:58 PM on 02 Oct 2007,
  • Chris Masdin wrote:

The game 'Ubogu' sounds suspiciously like the Indian game 'Kabaddi' (Channel 4 Sunday mornings c.1989), where contestants hold their breath, chant Kabaddi, and then tag-team wrestle (of sorts). Is any similarity coincidental, or are you going to come clean??

  • 9.
  • At 02:15 PM on 02 Oct 2007,
  • Tom Fordyce wrote:

Tim, Shazza - get yourselves down here by Friday afternoon, and we'll see if we can organise a game of touch rugby on the beach. Anyone else fancy a pop?

Ed - Ubogu is as much about your mental attitude as your lungs - I see no reason why one day someone out there might not smash the 70-Ubogus barrier.

Jim - very good point. They'll have an Ubogu Academy in Adelaide before you know it, with some terrifying Bill Sweetenham-style character in charge.

Paul King - that headline knocks spots off mine - d'you fancy a job as the blog's chief sub?

  • 10.
  • At 02:19 PM on 02 Oct 2007,
  • neelybeely wrote:

I don't think the French all-comers record will stand... don't they play 'Harinordoquy' or some such variant? Until Ubogu is recognised by the FRU I'm afraid the all-comers record is null-and-void.

  • 11.
  • At 02:19 PM on 02 Oct 2007,
  • Phil wrote:

You pay for tickets!!! I've met fans at every game either giving tickets away or been given tickets.

I still have a spare for Saturday's game in Marseille. That's assuming that I'm right in thinking that I can exchange my voucher for a ticket on the day of the game.

I figure any genuine fan who has taken the chance of just being in the same town for the game deserves a ticket. That said, I bought the cheap package so the seat is in one end, either very close to the pitch or miles away.

For what it's worth, am staying in Nice as accommodation was cheap. Flying out on Friday, London City Airport (wherever that is) to Nice via Zurich... that was cheap too!

  • 12.
  • At 02:58 PM on 02 Oct 2007,
  • TheScotsman wrote:

The QF's. If France put out NewZealand and Scotland by some miracle manage to oust the Arggies we would have gone further in the tourney that the AB's. How that would make he howl with laughter. Anyway, reality calls:

AUS 33 - 18 ENG
SA 45 - 20 FIJI
NZ 32 - 25 FRA
ARG 30 - 0 SCO

  • 13.
  • At 03:00 PM on 02 Oct 2007,
  • alex wrote:

Gents,

Good news to hear that there is parking for our campervans.

If this is going to busy can i suggest that we form a Rugby Pitch in the middle and challengs the aussies to a game, a la Baddiel and Skinner video for the 3 lions song?

  • 14.
  • At 03:03 PM on 02 Oct 2007,
  • alex wrote:

Gents,

Good news to hear that there is parking for our campervans.

If this is going to busy can i suggest that we form a Rugby Pitch in the middle and challengs the aussies to a game, a la Baddiel and Skinner video for the 3 lions song?

  • 15.
  • At 03:11 PM on 02 Oct 2007,
  • Sylvie & Crystalle wrote:

Bonjour boys.
We will both be needing somewhere to stay this weekend and we dont mind sharing so not to use up too much of your space. We'd love to clean your van for you and I we have a real penchant for cheese, vests and unwashed English men.
Are you able to help us out? We can send pictures?

Love
Sylvie & Crystalle xx

  • 16.
  • At 03:17 PM on 02 Oct 2007,
  • Sylvie & Crystalle wrote:

Bonjour boys.
We will both be needing somewhere to stay this weekend and we dont mind sharing so not to use up too much of your space. We'd love to clean your van for you and we have a real penchant for cheese, vests and unwashed English men.
Are you able to help us out? We can send pictures?

Love
Sylvie & Crystalle xx

  • 17.
  • At 03:24 PM on 02 Oct 2007,
  • Sylvie & Crystalle wrote:

Bonjour boys.
We will both be needing somewhere to stay this weekend and we dont mind sharing so not to use up too much of your space. We'd love to clean your van for you and we have a real penchant for cheese, vests and unwashed English men.
Are you able to help us out? We can send pictures?

Love
Sylvie & Crystalle xx

  • 18.
  • At 03:29 PM on 02 Oct 2007,
  • wrote:

Pah. I was looking forward to it, but if Wales aren't playing then it's just (another) weekend on the pop with my mates.
i've cancelled my hotel, and theres a cheap eurostar ticket (london to marseilles) going if anyone wants it...

i'm off to watch the dragons take on treviso in venice in december, instead.

  • 19.
  • At 03:40 PM on 02 Oct 2007,
  • Gareth Thomas (No relation to Alfie) wrote:

Is it worth a Welsh fan travelling alone coming?

I have a flight, hotel and ticket for the SA V Fiji game all of which are non refundable.

My pre-tournament travelling companion (my brother) has pulled out and I'm wondering if I should do the same?

Anyone want to share a room at the Best Western near the airport (I am married, straight, 30 refined, sophisticated, and educated etc).

  • 20.
  • At 03:51 PM on 02 Oct 2007,
  • David Hutton wrote:

Glad to see that our license fees are not being wasted on synchronised swimming or some such stupid sport as that. Enjoy yourselves guys and keep up the good blogs. (jealous of Fife)

  • 21.
  • At 03:52 PM on 02 Oct 2007,
  • Victor Ubogu wrote:

I am honoured to have this fantastic game of skill and knowlege named after me, I might even have a go myself and will probably be one of the only players to pronounce my name correctly each time - does this give me extra points? Sorry you could not make Paris but I will be in Marseille this weekend looking after a lot of excited England fans which is harder than it looks, might see you both around. I am not too familiar with blogging rules and regulations but if I start a game of Ubogu going on my own blog do I have to give you some kind of copyright?

  • 22.
  • At 04:42 PM on 02 Oct 2007,
  • Trev Wallace wrote:

Victor with Christmas coming up you could be in line for a storming new game to thorw at teh Kids get Mattel to do a board game version i am sure it would work!! clearly be looking for some kind of payments if it takes off etc for giving the idea of the Ubogu Board game!!

  • 23.
  • At 04:44 PM on 02 Oct 2007,
  • parka and watty wrote:

see you on the beach in between games and hopefully seeing the French teaching the ABs a lesson on the big screen in the port!!!
flying down Fri but avoiding total bankruptcy by booking Marseille hotel for Sat night only and staying in Cannes the other two nights.
annoyingly have tickets for both games already in hand - can't rely on the taffs doing anything right!!

  • 24.
  • At 05:09 PM on 02 Oct 2007,
  • tim wrote:

Beach rugby sounds like a great idea

Shirts and skins?

Have a word with your fellow media types, as i always wanted to show Mr Dawson my dive pass !!

maybe tak on some traveling Fijians.

might be the only game we win all weekend.

I will practice my Garryowen

  • 25.
  • At 05:17 PM on 02 Oct 2007,
  • neal hooper wrote:

Victor - I am a lawyer. I can advise you on copyright issues. I am 拢150 an hour or one ticket for the game on sat plus a little bit of hoshpitality (delib mispel)

  • 26.
  • At 05:17 PM on 02 Oct 2007,
  • John o' the Calgary, Canada wrote:

We Canucks have a similiar game, sorta based on the call that Doug MacKenzie did on SCTV...yanno, the "ooh-coo-coo-coo-coo-coo..." (it sounds better when it's not being typed)...every time you do that, you slam a bottle of beer. Repeat until you can no longer stand.

It's hi-lariously fun! :)

  • 27.
  • At 08:10 PM on 02 Oct 2007,
  • Nick H wrote:

Tom, Ben, tread carefully with those seemingly doting Doris' named Sylvie and Crystalle - something does not ring true to me - I think they're up to something, or after something, and no, I don't mean Dirsy's packet...er, of fags. Tom I expect you to be duly vigilant and ahead of the game, but I fear for Dirs, and can see him falling giddily for their hollow charms and skipping, all doe-eyed and love-sick, right up the garden path which their diabolical scheme leads him. Besides they posted their message three times which smacks of being just a little too eager.

  • 28.
  • At 10:57 PM on 02 Oct 2007,
  • HugoCortes wrote:

Looking forward to it. I will be boarding the Continental Lager Choochoo in Paris at 0920 on Satdee morning. Fancy dress as Popeye Doyle fron The French connection is sorted.
The best things about Aussies is beating them at anything.

  • 29.
  • At 12:07 PM on 03 Oct 2007,
  • Gary Squires - The 'Nam' wrote:

Tom, Ben.....the chippenham boys are on there way via planes, trains and automobiles over the next few days. Some are coming down in a transit van "borrowed" from the RAF, and a few of us managed to get flights......via milan and frankfurt!!! Not trusting england to win the group we've got tickets for both quarters so it's a bit of aussie bashing on saturday and grass skirts and magnum shirts on sunday. Have agreed to pick up sylvie and crystalle in a truck stop just south of paris so we should have them there just in time!

  • 30.
  • At 01:07 PM on 03 Oct 2007,
  • Big Alf wrote:

Taking the scenic route for this one, flying to Geneva friday morning then driving down to base camp (quite literaly) in Aix.

Will attempt to make the beach rugby if I am succesful in putting my new tent up in under 4 hours, though last nights attempt in my living room was not encouraging.

Will hopefully fair better without having to face a torrent of abuse re: scratching the laminate flooring and getting in the way of Eastenders.

:o,

  • 31.
  • At 10:09 AM on 04 Oct 2007,
  • john wrote:

Can you be more specific where this carpark for campervans near the stadium is? A post code would be good or if there are signposts it would help as I'm trying to direct someone to whilst I sit here in the UK!

  • 32.
  • At 01:46 PM on 04 Oct 2007,
  • Paul KIng wrote:

Tom, that would be great, does it pay well :-)

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