Your Paris checklist (60)
- 10 Oct 07, 09:55 PM
Fontainebleau 鈥 Hello you. Today, Tommy and I have come over all altruistic and decided to share some of our five-and-a-half weeks鈥 worth of Rugby World Cup experience with those making their way over for the on Saturday.
Here are some of the key tips we鈥檝e picked up during the course of our grand escapade. Agree or disagree, just don鈥檛 bang on about your licence fee.
Things to bring:
Rubbish shoes 鈥 I know you鈥檙e not as stupid as I am and are unlikely to wear flip-flops in Paris in October, but don鈥檛 dig out your sling-back Pradas either. Whatever you鈥檝e got on your feet, they will get mangled, whether by bodily fluids, lager or some clown doing the can-can under at midnight. Fact.
A change of clothes 鈥 Chances are you鈥檒l hit Paris early. Chances are you鈥檒l be as drunk as 10 men by 9pm kick-off. Chances are you鈥檒l have been involved in a breakdance 鈥榖urn鈥 with a group of French youths. Chances are that the French darling you fancy chatting up will think you鈥檙e a tramp. Do yourselves a favour, leave the pink Lacoste in the wardrobe and wear something you wouldn鈥檛 normally be seen dead in - like a vest. Tommy鈥?
An alarm clock 鈥 You and your mates have rocked up on the 7am Eurostar from What do you do next? See some sights for a couple of hours, get bored and nip down the Chien et Canard? Exactly. One of you is bound to fall asleep before show-time. All of you will be catatonic come home time on Sunday.
An amusing costume 鈥 For Tommy and I, this World Cup has been all about fancy dress. Lads dressed as Victorian soldiers? Tick. A gaggle of Queens? Tick. A phalanx of medieval knights? Tick. Get involved - everyone will love you and you鈥檒l probably find yourself plastered all over this blog.
A fanny pack 鈥 You need to separate your valuables. Look at me, one mugging and I think I鈥檓 Dixon of Dock Green. But the truth is it can be a dangerous world out there folks and, as my cheery old dad used to say whenever I left for a new term at university, 鈥渢rust no-one鈥. (Tom used that line yesterday, but I like it, so I鈥檝e used it again). My advice is leave one of your bank cards in your car/hotel room. If you don鈥檛 have a car/hotel room, stick one in your fanny pack.
A laminated piece of paper with the name and address of your hotel written on it 鈥 At 7am, when you鈥檇 otherwise be weighing up whether to sleep on a station concourse or in the doorway of a branch of Flunch, you will be cradling it as if it was a
Your mate from the City who鈥檚 just been given a 200 grand bonus 鈥 If everything goes pear-shaped, then hopefully he鈥檒l be sympathetic and sort you out. If England win, then hopefully he鈥檒l come over all grandiose and sort you out. If France win, he鈥檒l probably just jump in a cab all the way back to London and leave you up to your neck in it.
Some handy French phrases 鈥 Listen, don鈥檛 take any notice of those staid old guide books, stick these in your locker and you鈥檒l be laughing:
鈥淎ucune chance, mon pote!鈥
鈥淐e restaurant n'est pas aussi bon que le McDonalds鈥
鈥淰oulez vous parler, ou bien dois-je continuer 脿 vous reluquer de l脿 o煤 je suis?鈥
A tube map of Paris 鈥 No-one wants to miss the biggest sporting event since because they鈥檙e stuck in the Paris equivalent of So make sure you鈥檝e got a in your back pocket. It may look like a plate of spaghetti, but it rocks.
What not to bring 鈥 Beer goggles (every bar in Paris will provide them come 2am), your nan (it鈥檚 probably not her scene鈥lthough it might be鈥orry, bit presumptuous鈥), cheese sandwiches (they鈥檙e everywhere), pepper spray (if Paris is anything like Marseille, the locals will have bundles of it).
Right, Tommy and I are about to jump in Le Bloggernaut and carry out a recce of Paris. Only a week and a half to go鈥 think I might cry鈥
Ben Dirs is a 成人论坛 Sport journalist travelling around France in a camper van with Tom Fordyce.
Comments Post your comment
Fanny Pack? Fanny Pack? Last time I checked we're not American!!! Unless this refers to some darling one has picked up on the way?!?
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Fanny pack - something to do with Nick Faldo's ex-caddie?
To the list I'd also add miniature bottles of your preferred spirit, these can then be smuggled into the ground in your pants and represent the only way of having a nerve-settling drink in the stadium, mixed with cola/lemonade etc if you like. (The beer on sale, Amstel Free, is alcohol-free, not free-of-charge). Spare bottle tops for the soft drinks are handy, as the original tops are withheld by the control-freak organisers.
Also, having the words to a couple of songs - both English and international - would be good. Swing Low gets tedious after a while. Every fan should know at least:
Jerusalem; Land of Hope and Glory; Sloop John B; Delilah; Molly Malone; The Wild Rover and Two Little Boys, plus the alternative French anthem.
Have you boys had clearance for the final week yet, or do England need to win before the 0.48p of our licence fee funds another week's blogging? (imho you should stay on, regardless)
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The 成人论坛 are paying you for this?
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I think a "Fanny Pack" was what the Australians had last week.
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A fanny pack? If that's anything like an ice pack can I have one for the split lip I got playing urban rugby in Cardiff last saturday?
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Fanny pack! Yesss, got it past the sub...
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I'm impressed with your use of the phrase fanny pack! Thanks for the check list, its probably worth printing out!
So have you decided where the place to be is before and after the game? I'm contemplating hitch hiking my way to Paris from Warwickshire tomorrow despite not having a ticket just to be part of the atmosphere!
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Last week end in Cardiff, I taught the English guy next to me to shout "Allez les bleus" and he was so keen to shout it well (and not meet the AB in semi). He could always change it to "Allez les Blancs" as a tribute to the French language next Saturday...
I guess that the most you use "this restaurant is not as good as the Mc Donalds" in French and in France will not help the entente cordiale although it will be utterly funny to hear that said with an English accent.
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I just wanted to say I have really enjoyed this blog. It cheers me up no end, when I log on for yet another day at work. Wish I was there in France, but holiday time and money is nowhere to be seen. Let's hope England go all the way. I won't be able to stand the tabloid-mania, but it has been refreshing to see England play with passion again. By the way, my brother was at junior school with Andrew Sheridan, always wanted to play rugby in the concrete playground apparently. Who would have guessed he would end up an England International. Good Luck Andy and the rest of the England mob.
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Maybe not my plain, but surely I should bring my garlic nan? To blend in a bit. And I don't recommend a Fanny Pack. Favourite trick of street muggers in Paris is to throw you a baby, you catch it and in so doing baby thrower's accomplice swipes the pack. Wear your barbour instead and secrete all valuables in the 'game pouch'. Talking of which, what about one spratticus?
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Ben dear, "Fanny pack" is an horrendous phrase. However, your use of the term proves to me you are back in fine post-pepper form. Carry on.
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First thing you guys should do in Paris, is head to the Champs Elysee. Then climb the 400+ steps to the top of the L'arc de triomphe (Tom you will be fine here) (Ben, I recommend an oxygen tank, Tom can carry the vin rouge). Once at the top, you can spend the afternoon, drinking the vin rouge, and wondering how on earth there aren't more crashes on L'etoile... Note to Tom: Do not attempt to drive Le Bloggernaut on L'etoile... you will die...
Failing that, hang a left, get on a Bateaux Mouche down the seine, you will see Notre Dame, Eiffel Tower, Statue De Liberte and quite possibly the jury from Diana's inquest as you go past the tunnel... that's your culture done. If you head up to the Mausoleum where Napolean is buried, there is a fantastic English ale serving pub on the corner (name escapes me (Le Rosbif rings a bell... but the banter is fantastic).
One word of note, in Paris, car bumpers even on something as big as Le Bloggernaut, are fair play, so don't expect to come back with them in tact, and unscratched... parking is a premium, and millimetres matter...
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In terms of getting to the Stade from my experience of Ireland vs France (sob!) the metro is pretty useless for getting there, as the line is quite far out and goes a round about way. Best bet is to get the RER from Gare du Nord - it takes literally 5-10 mins to get there. Make sure you buy a ticket though, as metro tickets aren't valid on the RER outside zone 1 (return is 鈧4.20)
I'd also recommend getting to the ground early and soak up the atmosphere. The ground is surrounded by bars they've set up, and in spite of there being 80k people, you get served in seconds. The French fans are also tremendous fun with marching bands and so on, so get there, get lashed and get involved.
Also learn from my mistakes, if you go to a bar opposite the Gare du Nord, and feel the urge to sit on the terrace, don't order a large beer. A steiner it may be, 鈧16 for a beer sticks in my craw still!
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Some very good advice guys. I was in Paris for the Ireland France (mis)match. We are still licking our wounds. Good advice about the minatures, but with a 9pm kick off you wont need too many. Be aware also that everyone is "frisked" going into the stadium, so if you are enjoying a few pints outside the stadium and joining in with the French marching bands etc. Don't leave it too late. It took me over 20 minutes to get past ticket check and security and I had been at the gate enjoying "le craic" for an hour and a half before. Also 20 minutes into the second half there will almost certainly be the loudest ever blast of "le Martianse" (however you spell it) over the PA system accompanied by approx. 60K french. Ear plugs a must, but don't let it intimadate you because you are on for two in a row.
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They only sell alcohol-free beer in the stadium?are you serious?does the sporting world now nolonger have a place for the yobbos? They ban beer and then tease us with a can of beer flavoured water?this is an outrage!! yet so french
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True about the beer - it tastes like lager shandy - useful for a YMCA reunion but crap at a rugby match. My top tip is for train tickets out of Gard De Nord to the stade. The ticket machines are worse than useless so the queues get massive - drunk englishmen cant read at that late stage! BUT eventually they open the gates so you dont even need a ticket and they dont bother on the way back in to Paris after the match so if you are running late just go to see if they have opened the main gates to the platforms - dont bother with a ticket machine.
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Sirs, may I make you aware of a couple of fine restaurants you might want to visit in Paris should you grow weary of Quick or "Le McDo"
"Le boeuf sur le toit" traslated cow on the roof, is a lovely old school brasserie which does the best steak and chips in town. They are really rugger friendly even doing a themed rugby menu. We went there before the Tonga match and the Chateaubriand nearly finished me off. It is just off the Champs Elysee not far from the shop selling pepper spray.
If you fancy some fish then head to "Stella" a stellar Fish restaurant on Avenue Victor Hugo. My brother and I took our hangovers there the day after the Tonga game for lunch. Despite the 1664 still splashing about inside us we managed a dozen top draw oysters and some fish soup which put us back on track. It was a real locals place on a saturday lunchtime but really friendly. You can't book at lunch so get there early. They also do the worlds largest chocolate eclair.
Enjoy you lucky so and so's
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There is a woman called Fanny Pack. She is married to a chap called Wolf.
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Will be skint after the game and maybe a notice to that affect in several languages needed.DO they still do francs as i have some left from 1991.
Failing that WASPS shirt wih either IBANEZ or DALLAGLIO hedge your bets and dont forget your toothbrush.
As my mum would say keep your hand on your ha"penny
BON CHANCE MES AMIES
CLOISEAU
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Don麓t worry Dirsy, I think that the Stade de France is near that estate where the film La Haine was filmed. Quaint little country back drop and no pepper in sight.Please wear the flip flops.
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what a day of sport this saturday for every taste:
england v estonia at footie (3pm KO)
st helens v leeds RL at league in the super league grand final at old trafford (6pm KO)
england RU v france in paris (8pm KO)
and all perfectly timed not too clash - abs fantastic day for sports fans
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The list of "things to bring" should include an Aussie mate. We were absolutely gutted in Marseille so we'll know how you Poms will be feeling and will give you a shoulder to cry on after the Paris game.
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Was in Paris for the recent France-Scotland football match and it's a fabulous city. Despite what many of the guidebooks say, the Parisians could not have been more friendly and welcoming (even after we won!) though a simple "merci" and "bonjour" seems to make a huge difference to how you are treated. Every second street corner has a great little bar that, despite being the size of a small broom cupboard, serves good beer and simple but fantastic food.
The only word of warning is to watch out for the "lasso" guys. They tend to hang around the main tourist sites and get you by lasso-ing a small piece of string or a ring to your finger. You then have to pay for it. The tend to be in groups so a quick shoe to their groin isn't an option!
Have a great couple of days boys.
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I'd say that fans shouldn't forget some sun cream. Recent days over here have started a bit hazy, but that burns off when the sun gets out. Anyone wanting to enjoy a sleep on the Champs de Mars on Sunday should definitely be wary. Forecast is 19C and clear skies.
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You forgot about the cricket at 10am, Darran. Although I suppose England have already scored a series win so guess leaves everyone free to watch the rest of the sport while not being too worried about the result in SL.
My first Saturday off in ages and loving that I'm gonna be in front of the telly all day!
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Good point re the fancy dress Mr. Dirs.
Though I am still upset myself and my esteemeed colleagues did not make your blog after the Samoa game - we were the ones dressed as the Village People.
Though I have yet to see better than the 3rd foot and mouth battalion in Victorian soldier get up. Their sheer numbers were just overwhelming...
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darren mather (12:06) forgets the mighty
Barnet vs Mansfield at 13:00.
The necessary prequel to the rest of the weekends festivities. Up the Bees!
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Another thing worth mentioning is that there are several ways to get to the Stade de France from the centre of town. The closest is probably La Plaine - Stade de France on the RER B line. However, that is outside the flat-rate metro tarif and so costs more. There is a metro station about 1 mile to the north of the ground. It's called "Saint Denis - Porte de Paris" and it's on line 13. A flat rate metro ticket from the city centre is all that is required. A bit slower than an RER, but for those on a budget ...
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France is the only country in the world where you can buy beer in McDonalds but that you can't inside the rugby stadiums...go figure...
Any RWC/McDonalds Executives like to comment?
Best use of the license fee after Robin Hood and Dr Who as far as I'm concerned...enjoy the ride boys.
PS Went to Johnnys school (b4 him) what a legend!
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What about your relevant flag, to be draped around your shoulders so you can pretend to be Superman...or should that be SuperBok on Sunday night?
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Chere Carole in Maidenhead,
You have helped me with my English language before. What is a fanny pack? It is not in my dictionary and I do not understand!
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Just as quick note, don't forget that it's cheaper to buy your beer at the bar, rather than the tempting alternative of waiter/ress service...
Can't believe that its alcohol-free beer inside the ground!
See you all Saturday
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Re: songs to sing.
What are the alternative words for the French National Anthem?
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You've forgotten to mention to bring sunglasses, the game maybe at 9pm but the forecast is warm(ish) and sunny. Nothing worse than coming out of your hotel looking like death after a heavy night, only to be confronted by bright sunshine!
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I will be waiting for you in Paris Benjamin! Bring more stuff for me to steal.
Thanks
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I will be waiting for you in Paris Monsieur Dirs!!! Please bring more items for me to steal, your phone was...how do you say.... Rubbish
Merci
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...only two more sleeps....getting really excited now!
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post 37 shazza are you welsh ? plural for sheep no s
FRENCH HOODLUM meet you to swap phones mine is
due an upgrade.
Back of the tickets tell you what not to bring guns knives dogs and booze not like twickers thats just no smoking.
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Sorry to be picky, but as regards geographical location from the city centre, the Stade de France IS the Paris equivalent of Cockfosters. What's that? Irony? Oops, carry on ...
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Ch猫re fran莽aise en Angleterre:
First, you should know that 'fanny' in a slang americanism which translates in UK English as 'bum' or 'arse' (as you probably know, 'fanny' has another connotation in slang UK English).
A 'fanny pack' is better known on this side of the Atlantic as a 'bum bag' (don't know why Dirsy used the US term!?)
A 'bum bag' is as an all-in one money pouch with belt commonly worn outside clothing.
As such, I'd advise it's not a safe place to carry valuables. In a crowd or when into your drinks, any mugger worth his salt (in France or anywhere)could remove one without you even noticing.
I advise match-goers to use a money belt underneath clothing, or to settle for zipped or interior pockets for valuables.
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Une Francaise en Angleterre (post 31)- I do hope you are enjoying le Rosbif during your stay in this wonderful country. To quote from the marvellous Wikpedia: "The fanny pack (US), belt pack (US), hip pack (UK), bum bag (UK), or belt bag (Oceania) is a small fabric pouch secured with a zipper and worn at the waist by a strap around the hips". It goes on to say it was very popular in the nineties. This fits in nicely with Mr Ben Dirs's retro image. ALLEZ LES BLANCS!
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Merci, Carole - now I understand.
In French it is known as 'Une banane'. I can't imagine why!
Allez les Chabalistes!
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Re Tim C post 37 - perhaps you need glasses, or maybe you're just a Kiwi who has other things on his mind!
I said 'sleeps' NOT 'sheeps'
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Back to the songs... we mustn't forget those timeless classics:
I Don't Want to Join the Army
'Twas on the Bridge at Midnight
Roedean
The Cow Kicked Nelly...
Cheers
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Well Mr Dirs we see your true nature has emerged as a cross between a latter day Mrs Slocombe and Officer Crabtree. I believe I recall ( sadly)that there was an episode of 'Are You Being Served'in which the staff dressed up in berets and hooped shirts.
Clearly there is no better place to practice the 'double entendre'
Remember that in the Bois de Boulogne
a fanny pack may not be all that it seems...
Oh and as this blog is meant to be about rugby let's hope it is the French who will be having a 'good moaning' on Sunday
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Attention those going to the game, there may not be real beer on sale. I saw france vs aus, and france NZ at the stade de france a couple years ago ( the year of NZ delivering that record hiding) and the beer on sale was non alcoholic despite rugby fans being known for their good behavior. It was absolute crap so keep that in mind.
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One warning for those of you who like their steaks well burnt......the story on the street here in the 'capital of cuisine" (wasn't that in Ratatoille?) is that ze French chefs will refuse to cook any meat this weekend. Zis ees ze way zat we will beat zeese rrrrrrrrRosbif!
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The stade de france is also the national football stadium...rules are tighter for football fans because of the image. They probably thought it made more sense economically to keep the normal "beer" order, rather than buy in a load that they might not sell out and cant sell to footy fans
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Au contraire Johnny Morris (message #3) . . . so it's alright for you to make monkeys 'talk' on Animal Magic but the Bloggernaut is unnecessary? Maybe if the Bloggernaut was being driven around by a chubby gibbon and perhaps a cackling hyena, you wouldn't question the 成人论坛.
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SHAZZA posted a reply on the other blog ENGLAND STICK TO WINNING ETC but in answer to you
yes i wear glasses, not a kiwi and it be a jest
French hoodielum how will i recognise you as i dont want to be robbed by your rivals.?
au revoir until the morrow
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I'm English and have lived in France for many years, my wife is a Parisienne; her father played fly half for Stade Fran莽ais in pre-WW2 days. We have a non-aggression pact for sporting events involving our two nations. Sometimes the pact breaks down and I hope it may do so again on Saturday evening!
Incidentally, in all my time in France I have NEVER heard the natives refer to the English as les Rosbifs - GBS makes it seem a local expression at the time of Joan of Arc but it ain't current this century! The French now use other colourful terms to describe their transmanche neighbours.
May the best team win!
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Can I make a special request that each English supporter brings a hymn book. There are so many good hymns available that it beggars belief that all they can come up with is the inane "Swing Low Sweet Chariot", which is in fact a negro spiritual. How about "I vow to thee my country" or "And did those feet in ancient times". In fact the RFU should issue a standard hymn book to all supporters. That way the word could be spread inside the ground that hymn number x would now be sung. I'm not sure that "Land of hope and glory" would get in as a hymn, but there's room for that as well. Anything is better than "swing low ...."
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I have been enjoying this blog very much ever since I managed to blag a way on to a course in Paris and extend my stay to Sunday after semi final. That was some 7 weeks ago and you can obviously imagine my delight when we made it to the semis to face the French. I have been here for 5 days and can say that the atmosphere and hype is amazing. EVERYONE is talking rugby, its great.
Now I am wondering where to go to watch the game, any ideas? I have been going to the FROG AT BERCY VILLAGE this week and was wondering if anyone has any other places where the atmosphere will be just as good. I fancy somewhere different, maybe closer to centre of Paris.
I really do believe we can win this one but it is going to be one of the toughest tests that England have faced, but in true Rosbif spirit - we shall be victorious and swing that great chariot on the the final!!!
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I'm English and have lived in France for many years, my wife is a Parisienne; her father played fly half for Stade Fran莽ais in pre-WW2 days. We have a non-aggression pact for sporting events involving our two nations. Sometimes the pact breaks down and I hope it may do so again on Saturday evening!
Incidentally, in all my time in France I have NEVER heard the natives refer to the English as les Rosbifs - GBS makes it seem a local expression at the time of Joan of Arc but it ain't current this century! The French now use other colourful terms to describe their transmanche neighbours.
May the best team win!
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Blimey, ok I have never been to Paris but all these health warnings! Surely can't be as bad as many British places. Imagine what the French will be saying when the RWC eventually comes to England or at the Olympics in 2012... make sure you lock the doors on your 2CV as you travel thru London coz of the car jackers, don't travel on the tube wearing a bulky chemise coz the old bill will shoot you! Let not all this talk detract from the Rugby, keep your wits about you, enjoy the day and give England a bloody good cheer from me!
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sorry about number of duplicate posts. kept getting server error that the post had failed. Obviously the computer was lying - Sorry
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Just got back to England after 5 weeks of glorious 'camp-following' the team (in a 26 year old camper-van). My advice? GET TO PARIS FOR THE GAME!!!!
The atmosphere will be incredible, even if you don't have a ticket. The place is fizzing and it's less than 200 miles from Calais!
Wear silly clothes and buy your beer at the bar, not from a table.
Eat Turkish kebabs, GREAT value at about 5 euros!
Make a LOT of noise.
Mix with the French supporters, they're delightful and certainly not as 'po-faced' as our Southern Hemisphere cousins!
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As part of a group of England supporters coming from Barca to Paris, do you have any tips for the best place for ticketless fans to watch the match?
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Stop it, let me work!
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So, im ready to roll out to france in my van next weekend to watch England win again.....
Having no ticket where is the best place to watch it with lots of atmosphere and beer ! - Also need to put the van somewhere in walking distance as its probably going to be a hotel room for 4 of us !!!
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