The Mighty Mr. Capes
This week we had Geoff Capes (who was once the World's Strongest Man) phone into the show and speak about his budgerigars (No, it's NOT a euphemism!). Now I used to watch the "World's Strongest Man" with awe when I was a kid. Here you could see these huge bulking giants pulling buses, hurling beer kegs and lifting large round boulders in an attempt to outdo each other and claim the coveted accolade of being the strongest man in the world.
The best event though was the tug-of-war. This was where you'd see the contestants battle it out man-against-man, strength-for-strength, pound-for-pound on either side of a length of rope. The drama was so intense that even the commentator's voice sometimes strained with exasperation (or possibly delight?) at the theatrics of it all. When Geoff won it, he instantly became a household name as children up and down the country cheered at their television sets.
As kids we loved Geoff Capes, we thought he could do anything. I'm sure that in the back of our minds many of us think that today's world problems could still be solved by Geoff moving a couple of boulders and chucking a few beer kegs! Surely Geoff could save Camden market, stop gorillas sexually harrassing the female zoo employees, elucidate Matt and Russell about the true origin of sweetcorn and still be home in time for breakfast in the morning!
Next week we're going to be in Blackpool, where we'll finally be celebrating our No 1 podcast status by fulfilling our original promise of broadcasting from an ice-cream van on the promenade. Please send in some suggestions for any activities that you'd like to see us participate in. Apologies to all who have been awaiting this event for months, but what do you honestly expect when you rely on comedians and poets to organise stuff? Perhaps we should've called Geoff Capes!
All Creatures Great and Small
They say that all the world is a stage,
So permit me to engage,
And encrypt in this transcript a verbal trip to quickly say,
In a place where flashing's deemed as "quaint",
and market forces lead the way,
and gorillas dribble over nipples unless they've been crippled from school days!
Does Matt have an infatuation with the sweetcorn family tree?
Do horses have multiple relations even under the sea?
Monkey "expert" information just ain't what it used to be,
Perhaps the confusion arises from rides on large cups of tea.
So if your stage includes the entire world,
Encompassing primates, boys and girls,
Next week we'll perform for even animals, minerals and vegetables,
And serve them all ice cream with a twirl!
I suggest a podcast of excitement, Mister whippy, and seaside tent camping.
Also please ambush Mister Nibs.
Terrible business.
Thanking you.
I say you give everyone a goody bag who comes to see you.
A giant red love bus to pick up listeners on the way to Blackpool.
The tabloids will haaaate it.
Methinks Russell and Matt should take some more of that iffy "herbal viagara", then get themselves suitably coated in ice cream (soft scoop, naturally) plus the odd chocolate flake, and then pay my fare to Blackpool so that I can thoroughly clean the two of them up!
Mucky devils!!
CtD x x x
PS: now need a cold shower!!!!!
The three of you should dress as firemen and give us the full monty!
Thursday already.
Russ, do you ever get asked to do some pictures for mens fashion magazines?
You,re so tall and very photo genic. I would love to see some new proffessional pics.
Theres mens vogue and you could do some for womens mags, for us to drool over.
Well now this thing in Blacky pool! For the illuminations! Mmmm, Live earth, then Massive celabration of lights, seven miles of glorious lights till Chrimbo.
I thought we were suposed to be savin energy. So can you send the NIbbsmeister to go and ask the bulb men if they are energy savin light bulbs.
Sorry its just my little niggle.All that fuss for the lights. I know its a tradition.
I reckon you got frogmarched into it. They just presented it to you already organized.
I was listening to a local Christian radio , ova day.
This dull old bloke was taking snippets out of a book. A womens guide, to a better life, from about a hundred years ago.
Anyway e said , it said ,women should not wear make up or diet. After thinkin about it , I felt it was a subtle way to control women and give the message that its not good to werar make up, what a loada pone!!
Then a day or two later a woman presenter on the same station said,"Next week we are going to be talking about men who like to wear womens clothing."
I thought thats typical. Tell women not to wear makeup, but encourage men to wear it . Condoning it. What a wierd world we live in.
hey should look at the continuity and subject matter of their shows so they dont look hipocrytical.
I,m not avin a go at you!
The revolution must go on.
I don,t know how you,re going to do the show while serving ice creams. Its going to be intererstin.
I guess they,ll have a cabin for you to do the show in ,as well. Or the front part of the van could be separate.
Two hours of fans screaming. Mind you Russells fans are so well behaved. Hopefully they will make an orderly que, avin a little chat.
Will you interview some and bring them in on to the show?
I loved you r music selection last week.
When are you jetting off to america. I can,t wait to hear the shows from there. They will be great. Don,t forget to get loadsa anecdotal stories about the trip.
the show mentioned Geoff and his brothers as super heroes, I think they shoudl be known as the caped crusaders
Looking forward to Blackpool - it IS a sort of revolutionary happening so why not choose songs with revolution as the theme. Maybe have the following at the top of the show:
SOMETHING IN THE AIR
Artist: Thunderclap Newman
Call out the instigator
Because there's something in the air
We've got to get together sooner or later
Because the revolution's here
And you know it's right
And you know that it's right
We have got to get it together
We have got to get it together now
Run through the fields and houses
'Cause there's something in the air
We've got to get together sooner or later
Because the revolution's here
And you know it's right
And you know that it's right
We have got to get it together
We have got to get it together now
Call out the instigator
Because there's something in the air
We've got to get together sooner or later
Because the revolution's here
And you know it's right
And you know that it's right
We have got to get it together
We have got to get it together now
Hmmmm...you know that it's right..:D
love Shell xx
This week Geoff Capes... Next week?
Well, Daley Thompson, obviously, because that's the only way to go. Get yourself a decathlete, Russ!
Russell, baby .... is this anything to do with you?
I feel we, your loyal fans, have a right to know!
CtD x x
"Anarcho-syndicate council"
I think I should be in this thing.
I might not be coming to Blackpool. But don't hold that little fact against me :-P
Love you guys x
Hi Mat an Rusk,
The show went realy well,Sat night.
What a scream. Was so funny when the Niblly did an impression of the Mayor. The actual Mayor was so nice. When are you leaving for the States? We,ll miss you.
Don,t forget us. How lng will you be gone for? You,re so cute, you two.
I wuv you so much.
Looking forward to the show tonight. Wooohooo, w,re going to have some fun. Cant believe its gonna be from The Big Apple!
The British are leaving Iraq
It must leave the American troops feeling a bit abandoned, with a sense of a void.
We exit, while 30,000 US troops are deployed.
As the war sought momentum and support, by appealing to Europe, they didn't find it.
A classic attempt was made to ostrasize and isolate Europe in retaliation for the rebuff.
The Americans,menacingly set out to undermine Europe by making a point of calling them, "Old Europe."
Seeing it as an erroneous, divisive piece of propaganda, with an aim only to separate and apply pressure, they appropriately overlooked it.
Having the matter of the ethics and questioning motivation, as the focus in their mind, when regarding the prospect of becoming involved, especially on the side of the aggressor.
The name calling tactics, were water off a ducks back.
As Europe stood their ground, in sceptisism, that a war was indeed at all necessary, or founded.
Since there had been a complete absence of provocation or threat.
It was seen as, against European and international law to aggress, after it was clear there were no WMD,s.
To call Europe 'OLD EUROPE', was in fact a magnificent, ironic, Froydian slip.
To her benefit and clear standing, there is no doubt that Europe is old.
Carrying a wealth of retrospective insight.
While the pioneering, Pilgrim fathers were migrating to the Americas, to establish a new civalization, from scratch,
Europe and the middle East had already a, multi faceted ancient history set in stone,going back for many centuries.
America, fortunately, has never suffered a full blown invasion from another country.
It has never been occupied.
Europe and the Middle East have seen countless wars and invasions.
They are fully aware, of the realities of the destruction of war.
The words, 'Never Again" were short lived.
As America has grown, it has has seen itself, impervious to any weakness.
A dangerous disposition.
After the 2nd World war, a massive migration of Isreali, Jewish refugees took place to America. Bringing America into the diplomatic arena, involved in the tension of Isreal and the Arab nations.
In later decades, the US has been viewed as a major player, with an active Isreal interest, no longer claiming neutrality.
It is not detremental to America, to have evolved in its identity.
It does however, call for an accountability and greater, objective, empathy.
There is a call for The States to use its advantage, in a way that would cause, the extention of the strong ,Independent declaration and constitution to apply to the global family of neighbouring countries.
America is having one rule for itself and one rule for another.They do not apply their own manifestos to others.
It is understandable that they are feeling defensive.
Sadly as a result, there is no evidence that they feel protected.
They don,t interdependently live, trusting International law with its statutes or in the experienced advice and cooperation to work as a team, in a fair way, with other countries.
Geographically America, stands apart from Europe and the Middle East.
It has never known the diversity of a shared integral ancient history.
The history surrounding Babylon/Iraq and the Middle East, in conjunction with Europe, is of Biblical proportions!
With the various groups struggling for land posession, identity as individuals and as a whole.
It provides a formidable testimony of unified will, to march on, hand in hand, with a respectful tolerant conciousness.
There seems to have been a non provocative historical aim to cohabit on this earth, holding the tension in the balance.
The imputus for how this was reached, seems to have emulated, from the knowledge and backdrop of clearly, defined historical events.
Going back over a millenium.
We have sat this way, sharing a forward looking goal.
As an older brother, it could be possible, that we would stand back.
Suggest that to sit, on the difficult and potentially unconsidered situation, would be more prudent.
Sometimes things play themselves out without any need for involvement.
The solution can often present itself without any need for intervention.
It is hard to restrain the juvanille, when his fists are clenched, he is mad for a challange and impulsively wants to beat his unknown adversary. Whether the adversary be friend or foe.
In the case of Iraq, our American brothers have a job to identify, the colours of the those with whom they are meant to be fighting.
Europe and America are at the forefront of economic advantage in the world.
They have no justasfiable personal interest in fighting the factions and for the religious differences in the Middle East.
The West has some great points, for which it is admired and emulated, by the rest of the world.
Sadly, the crusader mentality, on the quest for dominance is being played out with folly.
It would be a shame to lose all the progress accumulated by the pioneering, free, individuals, to, blinkered, dogmatic, bigotry.
Perhaps the States have become too ostentatious and bull headed.
They have focused on their own need to be supremely powerful and revered.
They have sought to bring the rest of the world into their obeyance.
Not realizing that it will make them be regarded with contempt and give out a sense anxiety.
Giving them a nervous, disturbed, volatile character.
They have lost the progressive goal to which they first laid claim.
Through the aquisition and reliance on a complacent, overgrown, thinly spread infrastructure, that protects itself only with camoflage netting.
Projecting the illusion of being grounded and solid.
Fooling themselves, as parts of their own land, groans at the gun and drug culture.
Sitting in shame, at the continued lack of resourse and regeneration of many of its own people.
Who themselves sit without hope, in moral, confused poverty.
Before trying to solve the problems of the warring civilians in other, far off countries in the world, we should take a look at our own countries. Look at the social breakdown. The iniquity that is so ever present, within our own borders.
As a sign of moving forward, America could try to build an interesting and viable place in Europe and the Arab Nations.
Knocking at the door.
Rather than laying siege and barging in, guns blazing.
In this day and age we can see ourselves and others as capable of solving problems, without holding guns to heads.
There is diplomacy and more creative ways to go about business.
We can all put our heads together, regenerate the damage done in Iraq, with humble contrite hearts. For the regrettable damage we have already done there.
Respecting and hearing the indigenous peoples.
They have made it clear that they would like the tyrannical US Army to withdraw.
A show of confidence would be, to embark on international negotiations, taking a Part around the table, not the whole.
America needs to stop acting brashly.
It needs to release its iron grip from the neck of Iraq.
Bow out and acknowledge it has no permit to shot and kill there.
There will be no trophies.
There will be no glory for the soldiers, as they participate in a war that has no international standing.
What a sorry state to leave your own servicemen in.
We all need to reconsider our attitudes to Iraq.
Do we harbour ridiculous, racist feelings?
Do we think that they are really a barbaric nation full of eclectic loose canons, with the potential to cause an unstable world?
[F.E.A.R. False. Expectation. Appearing. Real]
To empower them, we must give them a sense of a rich heritage again.
A sense of history of owning and belonging to their land. They need a sense of identity.
The rich Babylonian/Iraqi heritage goes back thousands of years.
Civilization has some of its roots in Iraq. Have we dehumanized them to justify our behaviour toward them?
How are we the better person.
To condemn The Saddam Husseins dictatorship, and autrocities.
Then, use his execuetion as a funny snuff video! What kind of closure did we give the Iraqi people by laughing a the death of their oppressor. Belittling them and their lives.
SO CALLOUS!!!
We could not have done it with less dignity if we tried.
There was a reverence necessery, that should have been observed, giving it meaning.
It made us look just as bad and hypocritical for objecting.
Scornful and so glib.
We are displaying a sort of Anglo supremacy.
We need to keep the balance, to show absolute integrity.
We need to show our influence with discretion and wisdom.
It is paramount that we are supremely HUMANE.
With humanitarian agendas and motives.
Before we rage in war, we should show that we are more than mere beasts.
We should show compassion to the countries that are afforded no real hope of progress, by us the inherited sons of providence.
Perhaps we should put our own houses in order, before trying to tell everyone else how to live, and stop thinking we can solve their problems, when significant problems lie at our own doorsteps.
We celebrate the amazing feats and wonders of space exploration. Yet we cannot even appraise the condition of our own predudiced hearts.
We can communicate simultaneously all over the world, yet we can't say anything useful, or can think up answers to problems that effect the world.
We are so very advanced and sophisticated, yet so retarded and clueless.
We grab, consume. Shielding ourselves, with blinkers, to prevent our concience from pricking us.
ITS TIME, ITS TIME!
To change!
Change our attitudes. Each of us are personally responsible to speak out what we believe.
Its not a crime, what you do say, but when you omit to have a say, your responsibility as a brother in humanity suffers!
It all fades into stalemate!!!!
Lets get involved.
Taking on, flourishing, new perspectives, offering hope and respect to all!
Hello, me lil land, lubbin, lullabies!
I was watchin telly the other night,
and a programme came on.
I think it was entitled, " the Reformation Revolution"
I,m not sure of the exact title, but it was something like that.
I think it was 1 of 4.
The one I watched, was about the reformation of the church.
I thought it would be interestin and informative.
As, I was tired, I also thought it would be nicely boring enough to send me off to sleep.
A bit of bed time viewing, to slowly, settle the soul before drifting off into the land of kip.
It started off in the right vein, with King Charles being bumped off by Oliver Cromwell.
Sighting the reasons, as religious as well as political. I was starting to drift nicely, eyes heavily carrying me away to nod.
Then it went to the civil unrest and subsequent confrontation inspired predominantly by Martin Luther King.
A baptist minister at the time who was predominantly inspired by what he had understood from the bible, regarding equality. Provoking the equal rights movement.
It showed pictures of well dressed black people draped all over the pews in church praying. Then said that the fight for civil liberties was grounded in prayer and conviction of the rights, seen as afforded by the mandate set out in the bible.
I was starting to wake up and become interested at this point. The concepts being explored in this programme, seemed to be around the tension between belief and religious conviction resulting in action that would challenge the governing body of the day. Whether it was a king or whoever was in power.
Then Tony Benn came on.
Speaking about his upbringing and how it moulded his political life, and pointed him towards socialism.
He said that he was brought up in a baptist family and his mother read the bible to him as he grew up.
The main point she wanted to get across to him was that there were two, prominant kinds of people in the bible;
The kings and rulers with all the power, who were,nt very dudicious in their leadership.
Then there were the prophets, who spoke out to the leaders and fought for the cause of Gods rightousness.
Tony Benn decided that in the long run it was better to side with the prophets.
If risking the possibility of unpopularity.
Then the programme turned its attention to George Bush.
People who had had intimate dealings with George Bush , came on the programme and said things that frankly, made my toes curl!
I desparately hope they are not true, and that the programme is just a propaganda machine to discredit George Bush.
Well heres the gist of what they said:
That George Bush was a born again Christian.
[I had no problem with that concept, and was encouraged that the President of the United Stated would probably be more open and principled, if he,d had a born again experience, born again, indicating being born again into the dudiciary, of the "kingdom of God and heaven" and out of this "world", in mindset.]
Instead, in the name of his religious convictions, he had confided to his friends that the war in Iraq, was the first of the crusades.
That, as a Christian, he felt, that to force the hand of the Muslin world to confrontation and war was the right way ahead.
He was quoted as truly believing that the middle east Islamic world, was the axis of evil.
SHOCKING
I sincerely hope it's untrue and his previous working collegues are just stirring things up for him.
He has not said these things publicly so cannot be condemned.
His friends only say, that that is what he truly thinks and his agenda is based on this assumption.
I hope this show on TV, is not another show, trying to discredit the western powers, in the guise of a harmless programme.
You can never believe what you read see or hear these days. There is so much licence about.
A decietful net of half truths have to be de coded and understood.
We as the public are left to glean what truth we can. Using our common sense and reading between the lines.
But in response to the programmes revelation ,being truly the attitude and agenda of George Bush, I would like to make a statement.
In the beggining, when demonstrations were organised by the coalition against the war, the placards said
" NOT IN MY NAME"
Well as a born again Christian, who loves Jesus, I would like to say "NOT IN JESUS' NAME"
When Jesus came down too earth, at no point did he recommend that any nation should go out and fight the peoples of other nations,in his name.
NEVER, its not there, in the bible.
Christians, holding, the life changing, power of the birth ,life, death and ressurection of Jesus as the New Testement to go by.
Jesus, said we are forgiven by Him and His blood.
In offering up his own innocent body, paying the price for all, the debts of hatred were paid in full.
He said that the ENEMY, was defeated through his sacrifice, of giving himself up, in our place to be crucified on the cross, he took Gods punishment for our errors onto himself.
He bought every human, out of condemnation, and into right standing with God.
He wills for no human to be lost.
He is waiting for the reconsiliation, he would eventually like to have with all mankind.
The only debt, he said that remains outstanding, was the debt of love.
The only commission he endorsed was the commission to go and tell the world of his forgiveness and provision for their lives.
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How could this be warped and twisted into an alterior commission.
It is crystal clear!
Sadly, people have no time for the church or christianity, because of the church and christians!
If you want to go to a place that puts a yolk of unrealistic goals of how to live and behave on your shoulders, then go to a church.
They rarely teach or give the impression that they are changed by the freeing, liberating power of Jesus.
That, we no longer have to live in our own strength, but God in us, wills and helps us to be good.
You may find in churches, an imbittered load of people who have sold out, on the very reason they were attracted to the church in the first place.
Its too hard, to be envolved in something that can't be controlled.
Its too hard to allow a higher bieng have all the answers.
Its too hard to let go and float off into a state of utter vulnerability and wonder.
Knowing that God has a divine plan for all those that love him.
No problem!
God, [if you don,t feel too annoyed to bring him into the equasion], knows how it will all end.
God loves the Iraqi people.
He would want the followers of Christianity to show that love.
He would not advocate the great war machine as a way of Christian envolvement on civil conflict.
He is colored with sacrifice.
At he beginning of the war, the banners also carried a massage,of a dubiuos question. They said" NO BLOOD FOR OIL"
I just hope that there is no agenda of using force to aquire the oil the middle East.
Be warned, those high and mighty.
God has eyes.
He will not be pleased with dishonesty, of the global kind.
He is not only the god of the Christians, he is the God of the world, of the faithful, true.
All are equal in Gods eyes.
We all stand on even ground.
He judges the mind and heart.
He is the God of the poor. The weak, the helpless and the humble.
He is fair and faithful. He will, ultimately vindicate.
There is not a secret hidden from him.
I have written 2 poemittos, I ope you like dem;
What happened when we were sent to different tribes and different tongue.
We split apart and were no longer one.
All we held in common and saw familiar.
Broke down to suspicion.
No longer able to stand shoulder to shoulder, present and linear.
We're ready to crack and hound from our own volition.
Mouths open, ferile beasts, growling at the sound of perdition.
We were once clothed with equality and love
Given the honour of a great commission
Our hearts beating gently like a homing dove
We saw our value as we stood together
Aware of a shining light that would bind our hearts
Wearing ornaments of splendour
Singled out forever
As we fitted into place we could face natures changes
We were drawn into the brightness of bieng set apart.
Loves tender touch for us, chaffs and smarts.
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卤卤卤卤卤卤卤卤卤卤卤卤卤卤卤卤卤卤卤卤卤卤卤卤卤卤卤卤卤卤卤卤卤
When you stood in the garden
You could have been anyone, there was a pardon
You did'nt reveal yourself at first
Till your heart went out to quench the thirst
A sense of shock was all around
You gently tilled the ground
It was as if it was business as usual
Nothing had changed all seemed the same,
Apart from the funeral
The birds were singing,
the sepulcher bare
There was the sound of desperation in the air.
Hearts were tense about to break
When as if yawning , your revelation, you make.
Minimum drama, the ground did'nt shake
In resurrection, an offering, to make, was at stake.
Yet, although you had this commission too fulfill
You still had time to come and instill
To banish the doubts, take away the pain
You never thought of personal gain
What a day that must have been
To behold the most beautiful dream
You did your part in reconciliation
For us, its the heart of perfect incarnation
Without you there would be only sight sound and touch
Our lives would never amount to much
Because they would be missing the key
That unlocks all of heavens hope and glee
If we could only see, who you were
In histories backdrop of incense and Murr
What the gold and holy night promised
The joy and freedom, we would not err
At last the way is made clear
All truth is at hand it is near
By someone we can trust, who is honest.
To know there is a land, that reaches down to the dust and sand
Lifting us into the arms of love
Full of compassion from above.
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