Uncensored, Uncut, Unzipped!
Holy Basking Shark's Fin Batman!
During my time spent here, I have witnessed on many an occasion when we've driven close to the edge in terms of broadcast material. The numerous "Drug-brella" tales, the abundance of sexual references and the admittance of past misdemeanours have all raised more than a few eyebrows behind the scenes here. But I think that we may have overstepped the mark this time when Russell annoyed Zippy from Rainbow who then promptly hung up on him during the show!
Even David Walliams from "Little Britain" shook his head in disbelief when it became apparent that we were unable to ring back and apologise. This is after all Zippy, probably the most powerful one-armed, three fingered, orange-bodied, blue-eyed bandit to ever set sail on the seven seas. The minute that the line went dead I had images of him chilling on a boat in the South of France, barking orders at his horde of armed minions like some 1960's James Bond villan: "Bring me the head of Russell Brand!"
Zippy has to be well connected, he's probably the children's television equivalent of a "made man" (a "made muppet" if you will). He's put in work with Bungle, Spiderman, Dr Who and the Daleks, we're talking some serious muscle here, one phone call from the ol' Zipster and we could all be sleeping with the fishes... or the sharks even! So who do you think that Russell should call in order to restore the peace? I think that a well placed plea to Barney or Mr Snuffleluffagus should be able to smooth things out!
Attack of the Quail Eggs
What do you call it when needle touches vinyl and laser hits the disc?
Mp3's just excite you and podcasts are never missed.
It started with a kiss, or a desert island wish,
To have a dirty-late-night-chat about Beano club membership.
In a cinema,
A spectacular,
Exposure of an external bra,
A "Wogan wink" a Moomin link,
Zippy swiftly driven to his fuming brink,
And who could think, Sunshine TV causing Matthew to blink,
Or Russell enjoying Mr Woodward so his wood would not limp!
What do you call it when comedic minds intertwine?
One-liners flowing like a river of sharks basking with a smile,
And all the while, with this "camp competition" there's only one way to go,
Let's watch the biggest ego paint the whole town with a Rainbow!
I hear that Alf is a head of another muppet mafia (one of the five famailies), and if you need to smooth things over with zippys family he is man or alien life form to get in touch with for a fee of course. Just mention my name to ALF and you will be in!
I believe Bagpuss to the The Godfather!
CtD x x
Just set Terry Wogan on him!
Hey cheryl the diva - how are you???
I think Zippy needs to get a sense of humour.
Vive la russolution!!!
Cathmel x x x x
Face the facts Mr Gee, Zippy is going to pick you all off 1 by 1 & then let Jeffrey & George take over the show
nice knowing you guys lol
Hi Mr Gee, I thought it suspicious the way Zippy got so hastily off the phone on question of his genitalia! You are right, he must be powerful and I reckon in truth he has a ‘Power Brazilian’ ie. one so sharp he could etch glass with it (meaning hes probably been handy in few burglaries and has caused trouble by writing his name over the ‘round window’’). Knicker weaponry- a womans pride and Zippys shame!
Lots of love Ione x
Hi cathmel - things are truly funky at the mo, and i'm slowly losing my mind thanx to my works' 'do' which is this Saturday. it feels like i've been organising it for eons and am now at the waking at 3am screaming "ice cubes" stage of party planning!
Think we need Russell and Matt to turn up to liven things up a bit - I think our Russ might get a perverse kick out of the bucking bronco somehow!
Good to see you over here!
CtD x x
Why do posts take SO LONG to appear on this blog???
C'mon guys - get a move on, you're holding up the Revolution!!
CtD x x x
Hi my lurvlies!
These weeks between shows DO drag. I dont know what it is about the two hours of you guys. But its like a big whizz, whizz, bang, bang birthday party or something!
You are entertainin!
Talking about your little Howerd Hughes toilet tendencies, like a coupla ald women,"Yes, I do prefer moist toilet tissue. You can be sure to get nice clean freshness."
Yer lovely anecdotes. OOoh its a veritable treat!
This key board is an enigma. The speech marks are where the@ sighn is and visa versa. Bizzarre.
I was just tantalized by your my space Rusell, with the comments like "lets be one and talk to me, write to me ect.
But was fobbed of when tryin to register, by the speech marks infiltrating my e mail address.. I hadnt cracked the code yet!
In Bournemouth today, Clintons was having a closing down sale.
It was ironic because on the way to town, I was just commenting to my son that there are no discount card shops in B,mouth.
He suggested Clintons. I thaught he was being fecesious and told him so, fully expecting him to realize that Clintons are so expensive. I was curt about the whole concept, takin it all very seriously.
In other shops in other towns you can get about 5 quality cards for a quid.
I splashed out on 2 quid cards at various outlets that sold attractive cards. I,ve got four B,days comin up next week.
Spent 8 squid on 4 cards! Sickening.
We got into town and Clintons had knocked the prices down to rock bottem as they are moving.
It was mayhem. At the back, the cute teddies were going for 99p.
People were panick buying. I got a few bits, that were a bit sqew wiff, for the recipients who will be recieving them next week. I couldnt resist the bargain.
A silly teddy sayin, "Your piggin special," and matchin bag.
I,da naver chosen that at full price, too tacky.But wadaya do?
I left the shop, came to the library, posponed me internet booking and returned to the card shop for a second innings.
By this time it was becoming like bieng trapped in a dream/nightmare, the sort I get , when I,m exhausted when I wake up. When I,ve been trapped in a shop, and theres a frenzy on coz everythings greatly reduced.Like a big bun fight.
I had another person to cater for.
Reluctantly because I,ve actually put im on the backburner as a too high maintenance person, but felt compelled by other relations too send somethin for his B,day.
I ended up with a lame mug and fridge magnet saying lLOVE and a little poem and a more cuddly pig teddy to send him.
I got extreemly hot under the collar and furiously angry, when this bloke had as many big lovely teddies as he could fit in is basket an arms Because there were kiddies there that were gettin individual gifts of the bargain teds from their mums coz they were so affordable. As he came up to the counter people marvelled at the scoop he had. I heard him fighting off people ,sayin,"thery,re mine!"
I was so sure he was going to sell them on and invisaged him having his own shop, set to make a nice profit. I could,nt believe he had that many relatives to hand,to buy for. They were falling out of his arms as quick as he could collect them together.
But hey ho, mustnt be a dog in the manger. I wouldnt have brought them all.
"sigh"
Today is my birthday, and I am still waiting (in vain?) for my Russell Brand-o-gram to come and rescue me from work!
The order was placed, credit card details taken and a verbal contract agreed but I still wait for my tight-trousered, toussled hair Russ-o-gram to show! Perhaps he'll surprise me at V this weekend by swooping from a great height and carrying me off on a white charger (although that would freak the hubby out a bit!)
Next year is a "significant" birthday ending in a zero - can I put in an advance order NOW for a real Russ-o-gram pleeeeeeaaaassse!?
Yours hopefully
Cheryl the Diva
PS: If a Russ-o-gram isn't on the cards, a Matt Morgan-o-gram would do just as nice!
I made a point of watching the Ann Widicombe programme, tackling the problem of prostitution.
She had appeared earlier on in the day, on the Steve Wright show.
Saying she was going to tackle issues like truancy and people in the social welfare "culture".
It looked like it would make interesting viewing.
If school is unbearable for children, they can leave.
Be home schooled and never feel the need to darken the doors of such institutions ever again.
Thats what I did with my son three years ago and have never looked back. We have a riot, he learns, perfectly well.
He is not bullied, He is becoming strong in his identity and his self image is in tact.
It is viewed as a dangerous conspiricy, to think that parents could actually be responsible to their children as thery grow up.
Naturally bieng able to instill values and learning is a concept far beyond the reach of any sound minded polititian
[sarcasm!]
A catostrophic turn of events, to let the unlearned, great unwashed public have information that would allow them to make a choice to which they are legally entitled, to home educate.
If more people were tutored outside the duristiction of the government we would be a great country again! Of Lateral thinkers. Individual.
Sadly there are no funds to suppord the endevour.
But it doesn't cost anything to go to the library. Its a pleasure to watch an inquisitive mind unfold.
I was very interested to see how Ann Widicombe would present the issue of prostiution.
As I suspected, her stance was one protected by a personal mandate of belief in government policy and ideals.
At first Ann highlighted the plight of the tax payer family living in prostitution areas, to provide the backdrop of indignance, that we should have to put up with,"the oldest proffession in the world."
A term that doesnt challange it and submits to its inevitability.
Burying the head deeper in the sand, dissalowing imancipation.
When I moved into my house which is in a notorious red light district.
Police and officials would say to me,"For years it has been here,going back as far as I can remember."
Justifying it, almost giving it credability by the amount of time.
Crazy.
The time a proffession has been supported in an area doesnt have anything to do with the working women, and bears no link to their lives.
Its like saying Marks and Spencers has been here for years, so by working for them you will take on the corporate identity and shared history.
When those women were born and raised they probably had no knowledge at all of the areas that supported 'the oldest proffession in the world."
And yet when they find themselves linked to it, it claims them and holds them, offering no protection, the shared history bieng that of being a public spetacle to be jeered at.
Play with fire you,get your fingers burnt.
Ann had the right idea,saying that practically al the girls are on the streets are supporting drug habits.
It was so naive to suggest that the shock tatics would work on her subjects.
So reclessly patronising.
Presenting a mother, bereft of her daughter,drowned in the world of prostitution. Murdured by a punter and dismembered.
Heartbreaking as it was to watch the mother plead
for the safety of the girl Collette. It would have barely touched the problem of her lifestyle of chaos.
To sit there and get her to call a relative, to go home was a lordable attempt to stop a broken artery with a plaster.
The sentiment was there, but sadly, the interest Ann showed in wanting to protect the girl and take care of her was only triggered by exposing herself to a real person, working that only too real job.
You can't refer to the working women in one hand as parasitical vermin, overunning areas, with no pest control and in the second breath , show personal concern and kindness.
As much as prostitution can be seen as a choice; it would start that way, but after a few hits in the merrygo round of getting fixed, drunk and completely out of it, to face the nasty shame of the job prospectively to be entered into. Job done, it would be back to scrabbling around for the next fix then , ready money to keep it all going. The choice soon evapourates and the lifestyle is one they are locked into.
What is not revealed, is that the women are often casualties of broken homes, the care system, violence, sexual assault when growing up.
In the underworld, of the lifestyle, they can forge a sort of comunity. Where they look out for each other , so there is a sort of comeradery that they dont find in "acceptable"society.
If towns try to set up some solid help for the women, residents come out in force and say,"not in our road"
Even though the prostitution is going on outside their back doors.
Any place to drop in for chats, medical aid and touch base are vehemently opposed.
Subsequently, there are no long term support policies for them. Offering a protected future.
Working women will often defend themselves by saying that at least they are not going out robbing to support their habit.
They are generally really oppressed people crushed inside and the work can make them feel empowered. They can feel free. Although any considerate person would see clearly that they are doing the bidding of satisfying a mans requests.
It is easy money if you dont think about how it is earnt.
Theres no danger money.
I have heard girls screaming throught the night. To find a few days later that punters turned, stamping on their heads, threatened to kill by strangulation or knife. Stealing all the girls money. But they have gone somewhere secluded to work and they cannot reach out for help at the time of need.
They are kicked down stairs, burned, and frequently killed.
Sometimes it seems like a mercy killing when they have been trapped in that world for a great length of time.
I believe that the going rate to let someone put out their cigarette on a girls leg is about thirty quid.
Each night is a game of Russian Roulette.
More reasons to be so drugged up you feel nothng.
Young and old men would say,"fair game"
They are not really human, so its ok. Someone needs to shift how they are viewed. Slavery was ok once.
We are babaric, when we unleash the carnal nature to do as it will. The guilt of married men, and shame can so often cause them to beat up the women.
The miserable half lives of prostitutes are plagued with ailments , skin deseases, blood poisoning., broken veins, body breakdown, resulting from digging needles in groins. After a while there are very few veins left to inject.
Please dont patronise them, or haughtily look down on them. You will find that they are very humble people. These zombie like humans. They deserve a chance to live a normal life like the rest of us.
Elizer Dolitles song of a Covent Garden flower girl is echoed. All I want is a room somewhere, nice and warm from the cold night air. Woulden it be luverly.
Help them to find a way, we need to reach out accept and love them.
Show them they are lovely, apart from in a sexual way.
They have beautiful souls.
very interesting ^^^
the above post
but why post it on here?
complain to ITV that showed it
Well,a quandry is at hand ere!
Complain and comment about Ann Widicombes, aimiable attempt to bring prostitution into the political an public arena, on Ruskies lil web sight or to the tv station what put it out?
MMMmm
Interestin.
To tell you the truth, I,m surprised the moderator, or wadeva ez called, put it up!
It is a bit base, and riske.
There is a distinct lack of humour in it.
So, yes! I fully agree, by rights its a cheek stickin it on ere. To go on about such topics is not what you would expect to find.
I wouldent want to badly reflect onto Russell Brand.
But in truth, I,m proud of the blokey whos allowed it to be STUCK UP!
It was a brave move, I thank you.
I thank you for not censoring my thoughts.
So many ridiculous thoughts of mine have ridiculously made it to this selective,cool dry place of storage.
Some of them have really profaned Russells cool image!
I should,nt think, anyone would take that much notice of the drivell I chuck out.
Sometimes I just use this sight to unload. It gives me a bit of escapism.
In my view, the revolution, will include, laughs and cuddles and comfortin tears!
Together we will embrace everyone from all walks of life.
There can,t be room for only one genre of what is considered mainstream. taxpayin and the bourgewasi of slickdom.
All the craziness will no longer be taboo. When we all embrace all walks of life.
Workin girls will drop their knickers and dance on the tables, feellin just as normal as most birds who go out on a Saturday night.
Theres no shame in that.
We cant av double standards!
So my heart goes out to those lost in the world of oblivion.
I,m interested that its caused a kind of indignance.
I don,t mind suffering the rejection, if Russ wants to stop such stuff goin on in his name.
I know he does Focus. A drug focused charity.
So many lovely gifted singers are falling foul of the pressure and end up needing help. The world of addiction is all around us.
Also some of the most gifted people in history have suffered with mental health problems.
Drug addiction is another word for self medication.
This world just is too much for some delicate people, who sit in the balance, just managing to cope.
Great artists are notoriously known for being fringy, not fitter inners.
You could see prostitution as an art form. The bitter sweet tradgedy.
As beautiful girls drape themselves on street benches, gouching in and out of conciousness, while the whole world goes onto speed motion all around them. The spring blossom falls all around them.They don,t notice,its beauty.
They pace the streets.
They sweat in the summer sun, calling out on the hot nights.
They go into rehab, come out.
The Autumn leaves fall from the trees, leaving the bones of them exposed.
The girl gets pregnant and loses her baby.
The frezing biting wind blows.
But the skirts ,tops and heels stay high.
And on it goes!
Poetry in motion.
Some of the most heinous aspects of life, that we try to ignore are the most fasinating and profound.
Making a difference in the world starts with a heart change.
We can still av a loada fun while we aproach the things that scare us and realize they arn't scary at all. Its just whats goin on all around.
The world keps turnin.
Will we sit at the table and eat only the choice food?
Will we surround ourselves by only the ones we deem good enough?
Will we only want to be entertained by quality stuff?
Will we expect to live like kings.
While those others we push out are not worthy.
If thats the case, then we too are locked into an artificial bubble of self gratification.
We are no different, we just do it a different way.
On many ocasions we compramise what we believe, in order to get what we want.
We ignore our feelings and desires to allow others to have their way so we can keep our own destiny on course.
In essence we are no different, as we prostitute ourselves.
We just dont carry the torch of realizing the brutal sexual act, played out for us by real prostitutes.
We dont feel the high of the drug, or carry the sores on our bodies.
But we share the human condition and lie to ourselves, justifying our life choices, in oblivion to the real implications.
We,re gonna have sum real fun in the revolution my precious beloveds.
Sorry , and I love you.
Big hugs.
You sweet lil porcupines!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxBecsy, kisses.
Nimble feet , NUBIAN HEAT!
Give me those boots
They're mine!
For Russ, in London,
They've stepped out of time
In the town of Americey
They set the trail
That would, blaze and prevail
The mark of adventure
With a sting in its tail
They would not abandon
The fabric of intention
From which, Mat and Russ
Could unroll in invention
They spoke of style
In a menacing wile
They fitted into a trip
That was more than a mile
Those Rootin
Tootin Boots
Cause more than a smile
When things felt uneasy
They spoke to the trial
Those boots are out for public hire
To all who are stuck in a slippery mire
They have the ability to stupify
And tire, the most
Sturdy adversary
Who would intimidate and fire
Those babies, don't put up with jip
They've earned their stripes
They're now field marshals, in trip
But, one thing I fear
Is,
they'll end up, in the cupboard
Never to hear the coos of admiration
From their owner so dear
They'll never be forgotten!
And have a place at the bottom
Of the anecdotes
Of wearing boats
That would row themselves
To a part in the clear
Sheer, hope away from all fear
As the story of Mat and Russ unfolds
We marvel as the fiction
Becomes, fact, set in the mould
The unspeakable, becomes
About that which we want to hear
And we evolve, together, forever
The revolution, to uphold
a stake we will make
Together as we grow old
And the tales of those
Boots, made for walking
Will forever be told
Hi, show was great as usual!
I was laughin, when you said about, Mat walkin through the airport wi Russ in a wheelchair. Russ couldnt be bothered to walk, so the wheelchair seemed like the obvious option, to him.
Him feelin all cozy and safe like a lttle baby in a pram, then, after a while, when you were goin past some shops and Mat had built up a rapor with Russ, that was all safe and, kind, Mat used all his force to push the wheelchair,lettin go and launchin Russ into a shop.
I can just imagine the scene!
What a laugh, the two of you bent over in histerics. What a scream.