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Russell Brand

Git ya motor running

  • Mr Gee
  • 18 Sep 07, 09:57 AM

Ahhh... the infamous cross-country road trip! Two unique individuals brought together for a mission, with a full tank of petrol and the wide stretch of unknown territory lying before them. Intoxicated with a feeling of adventure and exhilarated with a sense of discovery, forward is the only valid destination, existance is the only necessary explanation. For who knows what lies beyond?

Think "Thelma and Louise" (with added hairspray), "The Blues Brothers" (blasting Morrissey) or even "Dastardley and Muttley (with slightly more bickering!). Yes, being couped up in a car for hours on end can certainly produce some strange scenarios and Russell and Matt do form the archetypal "Odd Couple".

Since the last show, I now have this mental image of Matt constantly stuck behind the steering wheel, trying to maintain his stoical resolve as he has to concentrate and negotiate the road ahead. Meanwhile Russell is intermittently waking up, fidgeting, changing the music and adjusting the air conditioning, before dropping off to sleep again!

"Are we there yet?"

"Are we there yet?"

"Are we there yet?"

"Are we there yet?"

"Zzzzzzzzzzz......" (for two hours)

*Hiccup....yawn.....stretch.....sigh!*

"Matt?.....I'm hungry"

It's enough to make you flip your Snuffleupagus! Anyway, the boys will soon be back in town for the next show so I better start cleaning up around here!

The Open Road

On the open road amid empty spaces, far reaching and wide.

Facing mile after mile, after mile, after mile,

Time has been reduced to endless lights and street signs:

"Cowboy Town" to the right,

"Sesame Street" to the left,

Where Snuffleupagus gets a rush from the dust from etch-a-sketch!

Let's play "Spot the Tourists" at the door of the club,

With Cowboy hats and skull-boots ready to give a snaggletooth love,

Remember: "Bigger Diggers Dig Deeper"

And Mick's got a fleet that...he'll allow Russell to drive?

(hah!)...Standby the Grim Reaper!

On the open road, tarmac's dusty and gritty,

Passing city after city, after city, after city,

A hillbilly's sight's blinded by the dazzling belt of delights,

There's no stopping this "Tit Delivery", unless a handbrake's firmly applied!

Comments

  1. At 02:45 PM on 19 Sep 2007, wrote:

    Russell, Russell, woe is me
    You're 'avin' trouble writin' poetry
    A sonnet, a verse, an ode or rhyme
    I'll read your musings any ole time

    Luv yooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!

    CtD x x x

  2. At 04:29 PM on 19 Sep 2007, ione wrote:

    I have to respect a man who can drive for hours and on the other side of the road. I could see Matt as Stuntman Mike, reinacting scenes from Deathproof with Russell strapped to the roof rack. I hope you are up to all the backrubs they’ll need Mr Gee. You are exceptionally Macho, they are in for a treat!
    xx

  3. At 11:57 AM on 20 Sep 2007, Shell wrote:

    Great blog Gee – captured the essence of Russell and Matt’s road trip I think.

    Your analogies conjured up hilarious images and all too likely scenarios. I would like to know who’s who in your comparisons – I think I can guess for most of them but – Dastardly and Mutley? Interchangeable depending upon the situation – although I don’t recall Mutley ever driving - so there’s my clue I guess. :D

    It’s so good to see that the Radio 2 homepage finally seems to have a permanent link to the show and that the show’s own page is being updated more often. Adverts on the TV too – all good!

    Well done guys – loved Saturday’s show - uproariously funny.

    Actual love
    Shell xx

  4. At 10:31 PM on 20 Sep 2007, Buttercup wrote:

    I loved this week's show. It was like there was no adult involved in the show at all and two bickering children who had shared 2 weeks of car journeys across what amounts to fields with the odd gas station and town, had been let into a community radio station and left to their own devices. Spilling out over the airwaves their hilarious insults towards each other.

    A bit like the good old 6music days.

    Still, back to London and producers and big people again this week!

    Love you all (Matt the most)
    xxx

  5. At 11:50 PM on 20 Sep 2007, Kathy wrote:

    Thelma & louise! lol. I can't wait to hear what the boys got up to this week in their cowboy boots and belts ooooh xx

  6. At 10:45 AM on 21 Sep 2007, Joann wrote:

    Another top blog from Gee, thanks!

    Looking forward to hearing how the San Fransico gig went at The Beat Museum.

  7. At 05:29 PM on 30 Sep 2007, Antonio Vanessa-Fiddlebottom wrote:

    I sat here once before, you know.
    I honestly did, but sat alone.
    It wasn't nice, but I did not mind.
    For a surprise so strong I was to find.

    The bar was friendly, the people nice
    The beer was flowing, I paid the price
    This is my diary, do not judge
    People shunned, I held no grudge

    I felt so silly, it was not me
    But I got involved, do you see?
    I played around but remained nice
    Did not mean to tease or entice.

    Back to back, I meant no harm
    Regain the trust, I now disarm
    But listen close and do not waiver
    I mean you very well, my saviour!

    I was possessed against my will
    The thoughts weren't mine to spill
    The thud of music, fingers in ears
    A hostage trapped within his fears

    Pull the plug, you ghastly beast
    This is the day I craved the least
    The music pounding, volume increased
    But I don't feel threatened! (reality unleashed!!)

    The music fades, the fear subsides
    My insides collide, landslide divides
    Exhausted now I sit here on familiar chair
    My thoughts for you I just had to share.

    Good day!

  8. At 06:21 PM on 30 Sep 2007, we are not amused wrote:


    Hello!
    I'm so pleased Russell has been asked to do the Royal Variety Performance. THe Queen will be thrilled to meet the young proterge, and his kinky bootees.

    Now, I have a proposition for you, which you just would be silly to refuse.
    I havnt been on holiday this year.
    Wheras you,ve been all over the place.
    Which isnt fair.
    You said last night, that you are going to Tuscany to write your bookywook. Are you going alone?

    I thought you would enjoy bieng acompanied by me and littly, Russell!

    We could have a lovely holiday together.
    The only problem is we need new passports.
    So, could you fix it , for me and littly to come with you.
    I am really good at encouraging people to get their thoughts out.
    We could sit in an orchard in the shade, finishing the booky wook.While littly climbs the trees.
    We wont be a bother to you.
    Youll come home feeling refreshed and focused.
    Whadaya say?
    My email will appear on this bloggy, so I,ll wait for your confirmation.
    Any way we're packed and ready to go. You just have to say the word.

  9. At 08:41 PM on 21 Oct 2007, someone put the light on! wrote:


    Hi guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Sunday evening!
    Well here we are again.
    The old merry go round they call............LIFe?
    IS'that what they call it??

    IT Dont feel much like LIVIN!

    That would be an exciting, varied, spontaniously enjoyable thing wouldnt it?

    MMM I dunno!

    If I have to look on face book again, I will consider meself a sad git!

    I just aint popular, I,ve "FACED IT",

    How much pokin, throwin cows, glitter, hatchin gifts can you bandy about, to really feel good about yourself.

    I,m sick of it.

    If no one contacts you, you feel, Sent to Coventry.

    Quite apart from the fact that they might ACTUALLY have a life to get on with;

    The socially adjusted human being, establishes his face book and leaves it there for time immemorial.

    Checking in from time to time, maybe once a week to manage messages and so on.

    Very good....

    It just sits there in cyber space like a well groomed, century and symbol of your social identity.

    An aquaintance of mine, felt so bullied, she deleted her own profile!
    She said, it made her want to go and slit her throat.
    When she was ignored, sent smart arse comments, or, horrific videos, with a well smug, well chosen, ironic flavour.

    So I now realize, why the young students wanted to keep it for themselves. Its a perfect utility for the luvvies running around with laodsa friends to link in with.

    The health warning face book should come with is;

    ................
    Only, get involved in face book if you are, confidently, self aware and have loadsa friends.

    Otherwise you will be left feeling like a sad lonely B+++++D!


    Russell wants to cheer up Chompsky............
    Mmmm, a quest with a dycotomy at its centre.

    But clearly a well intentioned sentiment of displeasure, that one of Gods creatues feels so abstractly, devoid of inane, frivolous purpose.

    Here, is the great thinker of our time, surely, thinking himself into none other than a morose state, as a result of the load he carries.

    He looks at the world we live in and sees that no one is really conscious,
    on the level of self awareness, how we live in our pitiful little lives.

    He sees the lies we tell ourselves, in order to justify our existence.

    He feels the full burden of his human condition, Chomping at the Bit, as he riells against our consumerism and Capitalizing tendencies.

    POOR BLOKE!!

    And you want to Bustle over there with your skirts lifted high..... anouncing that there is so much in life we can be joyful about.

    You could, tell him about the endearing, little incident of the haphazardly, situatated little,
    lady bird.
    Salvaged from the stove,
    by Victoria Woods, kind hands, now owing its tiny life to her selfless, spontanious act, of kind benevolence.

    Sighting it as a little parable, of how there is always something too have a little inward smile, and rejoice about.

    It would go down in the same way as the perseverence parable of the spider who , tried and tried again.

    CHIN UP MATE! See the brighter side of life!

    You could say:

    My mate Rainbow George can give you hope to laugh in the face of life again.
    Listen to his crazy ideas and feel warmed by their sweet, idealistic, innocence.

    Parhaps we all need to tap into Georges, parallell universe?

    Where there will be no need for money, but only a zillion, WONDERS.

    No wonder theres a rainbow in that, fateful name!

    Every man must have a dream, without a dream, he is lost.

    If Chompsky were on face book, I,d seranade him.
    But that would be insincere.
    The tiny, banjoed, icon,twitching.
    Almost mocking his condition.

    I,d like to do kind, fun things in the real world, but life is too hard and I ain't that nice.

    I,m like him really, but not to proud to av a laugh, it being the only light relief, I can find.

    Like him in the way that, things all seem to have an empty resounding clash.


    @@@.co.uk ///// @@.co.uk//////@@.co.uk/////


    Someone get me out of here,
    I ain't in the jungle
    I'm in cape fear!

    Can't drown my sorrows
    In a pint of beer.
    If you don't fit in
    Dont bother me dear.

    Get your moaning
    miserable voice
    out of my ear.

    Its too late, no ones interested
    shut the gate
    its late
    and I,m quite protected.

    Don't call at my door
    Your banter to me is a bore


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


    I served my purpose long ago
    When great skill and natural
    discretion
    I could show

    I reach for a hand
    Grasp in the place
    Where I stand

    Not a hope, mate
    Sorry this place is closed
    to the likes of you.

    Where can I go
    I need to validate my life
    Always pain, trouble and strife.

    NO,NO Only jokin, come in!!!
    Theres a seat
    It's warm in here
    Some one I want you to meet


    Wander in my dreams
    its still and theres a gentle breeze
    Lookin my eyes
    let the craziness freeze

    Rooted to the spot
    I took the time
    to see that you please

    You lit up my life
    When there was no help
    the pressure was closing in

    I watched as you
    put your hope in the
    disgraceful
    to me you chose
    to cling

    So now I will
    tend your grass
    hemmed in by my
    jealosy
    I cant tolerate farce

    We can walk together
    you see
    You never did belong
    To a place full of
    contention
    and continual wrong

    Connection secure
    our calling is sure
    Stick with me kid
    Its not popular to be pure.

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