Away with the Chomskys
Wow! I always thought that it would take something really major to fall the wrong side of Noam Chomsky.
After all, here is a man who was a fervent protester against the Vietnam War, the bombing of Hiroshima and has been an ardent critic of US foreign policy for several decades.
I guess that the idea of joining our little raggle taggle band of "revolutionaries" and turning us into a philosophical force to be reckoned with, was a tad beyond the realm of many of our progressive thinkers.
T'was a strange show indeed last week. We cruised the seas of contraflow, courageously chasing that most elusive of prizes: how do we coax a chuckle out of Chomsky?
The best plan of action was to try and impress him with our commitment to the revolution. First off we had Mr Nibs take some snuff live on air, (well at least I hope that it was snuff, it was just some weird stuff I saw lying underneath the main desk) such an action may seem irrelevent to some, but it proves that we are indeed willing to take risks (especially when it comes to Mr Nibs!)
Then we had Victoria Wood reveal that she had to buy Russell a cup of coffee, because his ridiculously tight trousers hold no means to carry cash, again this was to show Noam our disdain for the material world.
Suddenly Rainbow George came up with a solution for Russell's cash-holding predicament by suggesting that he "creates money" by simply waving his magical wand (or dreadlock).
The next thing you know, Noel Gallagher's wading in to debate with Russell over who could run London better with all this newly acquired "Abracadabra Money".
Now if that doesn't invoke a "Chomsky Chuckle"....nothing will.
A Wonderful World
In the instant of a moment,
It's a befitting component,
A manifesto based on expresso,
Watch the bar doors swing open,
Noam's not a happy Chomsky,
His philosophy has already probably,
Linked the ethics of snuff ingestion,
To George's expressions of authority,
Oddly enough, it IS a world of wonders
And one wonders what London would become from,
"Twinkle Toe" Noel fixing our woes under the tundra,
Yet an electorial blunder, could see Russell thrown into the hot seat,
Inviting every single animal into Parliament regardless of their sexuality
And where's Matt amidst all this?
Sailing the ocean blue?
He's probably plotting away with the Chomskys,
Getting ready to plan his coup!
Mr Gee Mr Gee what is happening? There are rumours of ascent in the group - Matt's been fired and won't be back - tell me it's not so.....
Hey, how come we got fobbed off with the best bits on Saturday?
Where was Russ?
Was it because Ponderland was playing on the telly, he didnt feel he had to turn up for the radio show.
What a bloody liberty!
I was in SHOCK!
Was he in LA, meeting movie moghuls?
or just taking a break?
I dont suppose theres any chance of him doing book signings in Bournemouth. So far out in the sticks I guess...
I always fantasize that he will sweep me away. So if he doesnt cum ere, fair play..
***
Danno 'ere now, mixing it up a bit. Just got back from the most rubbishest smoke in the history of it. I got hiccups halfway through and had to chuck the half-chuffed sod in the sandbucket. What a waste of time & money, and my skin hadn't aged half as much as it said it would on the pack.
False advertising!!!
****
* Smoking *
* causes *
* ageing of *
* the skin *
****
No, it didn't my darlings. If anything, I look younger, I tells ya.
Receipe for the anti-ageing coming up:
* 1 half cup of nivea
* 1 fag
* a little bit of TLC
* 2 glasses of merlot. Preferable room temp.
* A sprinkle of Mixed spice
Take glass of wine, and leave to simmer for about 90 minutes on a low flame. Just to burn the alcohol off.
Ladle in the nivea, be generous with the portions.
Finely chop up the fag, be sure to release the flavour of each cut. Any brand will do. (TOP TIP: bin the butt.)
Knead the mixture into a nice flexi-dough and deposit 6 generous globules on a well greased baking tray.
Pop in the chiller for approximately 7-9 minutes and add the herbs.
Sip the 2nd glass of wine, whilst the magic happens.
When done, apply said mixture to the vulnerable areas of face, taking care to exfoliate all surroundings in a soft yet assertive circular motion.
Rinse, and you're young again. DEAL WITH IT.
Bye, off for a cig.
*
HYEEEEEEEEEEEEE, me back again!
So cutting us off, mid stream. Our bloggs havn't been going in, BBooooooooooooo,
WHAAAAAAA
Sniff Sniff, how to you expect us to survive without you.
Cutting us off in our stream.
I blame the government. They put a glitch on your blogg page so we couldnt continue the amniotic flow.
PWOAR, last night when Russ did the Ponderland on holidays, he looked SO sexy.
The previous nights he was jumpin about, but last night he seemed all in control and seductive.
I just missed the beggining of the one about love.
Coming in at the point where he was describing bieng in a relationship, sayin let me take the hair out off your face, and, Oh no, you hang up first.
Then the BARRAGE OF EELS and SPORES
just exploding out of him.
SO funny!!!!
And astute.
Just how I imagine him.
As I said once , I would like to share an hour with,
BEALZEBUB!!!
OOOOOH the OLD GOAT
I wish he wouldnt torment us like this.
Just get some smelly baggy clothes, and mercifully let us weane ourselve offfffffffffffffff you.
Too much personality, Brand.
It wont do to be such ray of sunshine!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Well, that was more than 2 lines long, I refuse to read it. I haven't the time, I'm late for a very important date.
..14 mins and 59 seconds later, he moves the mouse so as to not allow the screensaver to kick in and destroy the bloggy. IT apparently kicks in on 15 mins.
Anyways, I'm really acidic today. Probably a bit of tummy acid, but nothing a pint of beer won't fix.
I need to keep typing, otherwise the keyboard will be hers for the keeping. I won't hear of it. Good day maam.
They just keeps cropping up, these acidic burps.
Do unicorns burp?
If they did, they would probably burp rainbows and icing sugar. All sweet and that.
I'm sure I had something profound to prattle on about, but the thought has escaped me yet
a-bloody-gain. Nevermind, if I were you, I'd stop reading at this point, because here is where things start to get really hard-hitting and eerrie. In time for halloween (even though I don't buy into it)
(Off for a ciggarello at this point, as the beeper goes off telling me I haven't had a fag in about 10 seconds...)
**
Honnnnnestly!
I dont know what He is on about, trying to get my dear sweet children frightened and worked up about things that go bump in the night.
Take no notice my darlings. Sometimes, his mind is like an ARID DESERT, the tumble weed blowing uncontrolably through its vast expanse.
He gets a little confused, you know.
I watched Abigails party last night on telly, what a classic.
"SUE, another Drink?"
Apologies to you who dont know about Abigails Party.
I did a tiny survey here and asked 2 people if, they had heard of it. I came to the conclusion that anyone under 30 hasnt.
Bloody el that makes me feel ald!
Did Russell not turn up coz I said that Mat was the Daddy?
Russ youre the Daddy, how can I make it up to you!
My friend just suggested that through our blog, you will get used to our writing skills, I bent over winded with laughter, finding it hard to get out the incredulous exclamation, SKILLS.
HA HA HA what a scream.
Ez back now, progressivly its starting to be like sitting next to a FAG.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
How dare she?
I won't hear it. I will shut my lugholes down to her abstract insults. I don't even smoke..
Curfew is coming up plus my roast dinner (what mum done yesterday) is going so very cold, so I'd better call it a day.
Mum doesn't realise that there's only the 2 of us in the household, not including the now-named, dame kitty Bassey. Does she get off on trying to feed the 5,000? Why buy a whole chicken, when you can get that Bernard Matthews stuff. A tray of 6 fillets for 拢2. More than sufficient?
Clocking off now.
I've loved you all immensly.
**
I want to say bye bye.. too.
Now in the words of the ancient chinese proffit,
Dont hatch your chickens before they count,,
HA HA HA HA, its the way iI tellem.
BBYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I have loved you and leave you with a kiss, until........
XXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxx
okay...
Don't joke about things like this Buttercup... please!
What a scam, no show and no podcast, Darnit, another week off for Matt.
Lazy and derivitive.
Get a Job!
ok bwyee!
Hey Russell,
You rock dude.I'm frm Asia and a huge fan of urs. It was a bit surprising to come across Noam Chomsky's name three times this week.urs ws the most intelligent discourse i gtta say. the other two wer just sick.Saussure ws there as well.u figure it out.
I've just returned from Australia to fo find I've only missed one radio shows even though i was away for 3 weeks.What has been going on?i think Russ gets exhauated,he looked it at hackney when i saw him live .Then i think he got all behind with his book.Can anyone tell me why he has gone celibate?.Also I worry about the influence of Courtney Love,does anyone agree?
I wish I could overcome my interest in Russ and agree wirh the person who said why cant he wear baggy clothes etc.so we dont fancy him so much.Love Chrissy
I'm a big fan of brand incase this comment is published - however i'm my primary motivation is to test how this posting work.