When Matt Met Slash
It's quite a strange and unforgettable experience to finally meet up with one of your heroes, (you know) someone who you've long-admired from afar. I mean, what do you say? how will they react? what if you do something embarrassing? supposing you randomly shout out "Lulu!"... there are just so many questions and emotions running through your mind that always surround such an occasion.
All of us are fans of someone, in one form or the other. It may be a band whose songs you used to play every day or an actor whose performances captivate you. It may even be a comedian whose one-liners and routines you've memorized verbatim. Others may not understand it (or even try to), but there's always going to be a someone who has a profound influence on you, simply through the things that they do.
It's no secret that Russell is a huge Morrissey fan and I remember awhile back how giddy he got at the prospect of finally meeting him. Matt however has always favoured Guns & Roses and so it was interesting to see his reaction when I told him that Slash was coming into the studio for an interview. His eyes just lit up in amazement as he tried to remain calm, but you could easily see just how excited he was!
I suppose that it'll be the same for the Queen when she finally gets to meet Russell (her being our biggest fan and all that! :), let's hope that she doesn't get all starstruck and just randomly shout out "Lulu!".
One is amused
An experimental prose,
Just letting you know,
Like a "pin-pin" injection for those,
Who incidentally chose,
To join us each Saturday,
Urine extraction is the practice play,
As Russ and Matt chat away,
An Itchy-jumper can get you sacked today,
So actually, what's the cost of being fobbed off,
Reporters tossed off, doors locked off,
This is Randy Morgan calling Boshoff,
With a banana hoodie?.... the phone's blocked off!
Rock God, Slash fears an attack of the little imps,
While "Cockerel and Nash" demand less noise as they reach the actual brink,
Just stop and think, all this Royal Protocol is evidently confusing,
Apparently the Queen heard the Bowie-Slash phone call...
...and found it all extremely "amusing!"
I think that meeting slash had a bigger effect on you Mr Gee. It looks like you've got horns in that group pic! lol
I'm ready to be swallowed up
I'm burnt up and jaded
Deeep hole gaping contaminated
Ground glass cutting all who would hear
We will all return to dust
If there is no meaning in everything
Left feeling fleeting
Let me climb into your coat of padded oppulent
Velvet
Like a blind child lost left covered in sand and Blood
I wait I long for the sun to rise
For the spirit to come
Setting me free from the challanges
That confuse
In knots tying me
I want to recieve a glimps of the solid radience
How can we let go
Hand over the reins
We are under an illusion
For we are all as a puppet on strings
Is it possible
There is nothing to fear
A dream only on the other side
The boat man we must pay
Reach deep in the pocket
Of your breast and bring out only your best
The currency of love can only take you higher
We snatchh a particle of its resolution and are
Set alight to lift and quell the proffusion
Allow the blood to filter through the drip
Begin the transfusion
Come away from the fear
And fear the fear to which you refuse to bow
Tackle its entwinement and reach
Take hold of the goodness
That means you no harm
It only knows the language to
Love and beseach
With its gentleness your life it will teach
Have to find the happy medium
Nourish the soul not the tedium
Dame for a day
Claim for the pay
Shame when the gain is
Twisted in time to decay
Shocked by the knocks of the gradients way
Butttons burst
Come undone
Peeling away the layers
Till the tender flesh is exposed to the slayers
A truth set firm by the rules of the players
A sight that is right in the eyes of the night
Now in honesty you can reveal your plight
Send them turning running in fright
Uncovered to love and put pain to the frey
The quirky covering at last to betray
Reality of earths murmurings to display
Virtue can find somewhere at last to lay
I waited for hours to meet my hero Russell brand at waterstones in Picadilly. I was soooo nervous that I didn't know what to say, I handed him the booky wook for him to sign and then just walked away without saying anything he must of thought that i was a strange girl! *the shame* I only got a tiny glimpse of you Mr Gee but I loved the songs that you played that night. was matt also there?
SPACE HOPPERS ARE CURSED HORNED IDOLS, AND SHOULD NOT BE CONFUSED FOR INNOCENT ORANGE PLAY PONEYS, THEY ARE EVIL INCARNATE,
STEER WELL CLEAR!
Hi, Friday nigtht, we,re in the internet cafe.
Its not too busy. The coffee makers gurgelling in the bacround. The bloke in here said he,d take a look at my 2 broken PCs but they will cost 1oo quid to mend. Hey ho. Already spent the crimbo budjet. The cyber world will av to waid. Hey there, my mate Guenevere AND gOOgOO says a great big hello.
Lets all make a new pre crimbo resolution to av a heart and comunicate real love. All the best.
Love you xxxxxxxx
Dear Mr Gee,
Being a celebrity, myself, I am often confronted by starstruck fans. I try to put them at their ease, so they realise that despite being a multi-milionaire business tycoon and renowned author I am, at heart, just an ordinary elephant.
The Badfort Crowd, of course, are seldom starstruck but they do randomly shout out such words as "Fat Tyrant!", and "Bike Thief!".
One just has to rise above it.
Yours Faithfully
Uncle
There is nothing bad in You.
Our reflection can only be enhanced by two
Or three, making us four
Then more
A backup plan has been provided
Something solid to rest our hope
Not divided
In the beginning the achievement
Was to stop sinning
Laid down the law
The first requirment
Aghast we stole away
To the dessert
We fell astray
Clouds of fire couldnt
Show our hearts the way
Bemused, self betrayal
Its path did lay
Men and women began to punctuate histories past
Trusting a faith so simple to last
Inckling swelled by a gut reaction
Courage fused by high attraction
Woven meaning set in time for caption
The grander pleasure set behind to treasure
Grasping sense
A tence
Participle
Without measure
Abject swimming in the realm thats
Niether cast in stone
Or clever
Great thunder of the innocent feather
The road less travelled
The mode is addled
Confusion the area grey
But situated along the path
Gentle sighnposts to raise the mast
Be carried by the winds short blasts
Take a scrap of paper
Stick it to a visionary
Stained glass missionary
Buried under beckoning sullied
With the pain of the worlds heckelling
Touched and revealed in the sight of
Loves medicine
Embraced by soft enlightening
Concious spirit heightening
A gift of earths transient dream providing
The guest of honour
Reflected applause
But hidden in the place of
Darkest deepest cause
Emulating the masters
Blind eye to delinquent scores
Bathed in a light whos earthly
Height reaches out of sight from earths stores
Radiance built on bendable clause
Waiting in the wings overlooking flaws
Proud admiring chords sustaining flying
Let down gently into cushioned palms
Held close in passions arms
Beating heart sounding like a morning lark
Now eyes can pierce the dark
Rise and realize meditate
On the mark
Set ablaze paragim shift
Free to gaze by comforts lift
Lost in haze a fragrant gift
Hellooo................is it cold enough for you?
I,m here at the library.
Theres a creepy man sittin next to me.
He keeps makin wierd noises.
And putting his arm on my half of the table. I think I might throw up.
He titters to himself every now and again, agh, he,s going to be here for the duration of my stay.
Oh and he keeps burping and making a sighing noise after.
Life has to be a sucsession of blanking things out to make it tollerable.
I stink, I smell like a brothel..........
Went in the local department stall, and had a joosh with their crimbo fragrances.
It all looked so grand with the gorgeous packaging and limited edition add ons, like embossed glass and puffy things to squeeze and spray.
I remarked to the lady behind the counter that they all compliment each other, the lemony tones lifting the heaviness of the others.
She politely agreed and allowed me to indiscriminately spray them all on in large doses..........
Well its the only chance I,m gunna get to enjoy them, coz no bleeders gunna arrive to me doorstep with it all packaged for me Offering...
Having said that, a sort of mate of mine did turn up at the door the other day with a gift.
So sweet.
Although I,m in me late thirties and hes 60, he did ask me to marry him this year.
GET OUT!!!
If he had a few bob it would be different. But he gets stuff outa the bins and skips and offers it to people as if it were the crown jewels....bless im. Ah
Not to say that I dont bet stuff from bins, skips and whats left out. I pride meself on me eye for seeing the treasure others dont want.
Finely honed scavanging.
When my eye starts bulging and me neck starts craning.....littlun has to take my arm and gently say" come away from the skip mum"
On the way out, down the road, I got a new micro wave,left out by someone.
I needed 1, Mine has oxadized and is on its last legs.
So that guy came to the door.
He had a gift for littlun and said in hushed whispers,to hide it from him.
It was a toy lorry carrying a helicopter from the pound shop.
Littlun came to see who was at the door.
I looked down and matey had hurredely bowed down to cover the lorry with his red scarf.
So kindThe other year, he came, Christmas day, and gave littly a truck from the poundshop.
You know, even though litlun knows its easily brioken and from the pound shop, he treasures it. Because somebody had taken the trouble to think about him.
Warms your heart it does.
BUT, I have to say, I,m sick of Christmas.
All the demands for trqansformers.
I spent 40 quid on one as the main pressie.
I,ve brought about 3 to help santa out and a rubicks cube!
Still not enough!!!!!
How many transformers can an 11 year old have?
He wants the new Spidey film and transformer film, that would be 30 quid.
Im not doin it!
So I,ll just have to deal with thye dissapointed face.
I,m not takin my overdraught for a rollercoaster ride.
On a lighter note.
I wopuld like too share what I heard on the radio, that is be careful, a lot of people are gettin caught out by the bigger sized wine glasses.
Mum used to say put more tonic in, I,m drivin........
bye
Yesterday, after bloggin the above message at the library, we went to an internet cafe.
Littlun loves goin there, coz he can do videos about transformers and upload them onto You tube.
I had a go!
Did me first you tube vid!
Named it, "a sad sad story", coz I am sad, have a look, if you want to see a sad git prattling on about nothing.
What a blast.
I did 4 but sadly the sound didnt work on three of them.
Sad really coz they were classic stupidity straight from me mouth.
Ahh never mind.
I,m gunna keep doin them.
I wish I could do all the switches and buttons meself, to navigate and upload.
Havent got a clue. So I have to call littlun over. He gets very annoyed at my total inability.
Dear boy.
I watched Russ on You tube doin the book presentation,great! I saw his surprise visit on Loose Women."On the Road" was on again last night at about midnight. AHH Joy I got to see it again.
The other day when On the road was going to be shown on tv for the first time, I planned to watch and relish.
But as luck would have it littlun insisted we invite this aquaintence back. We bumped into her in ASDA
Bloody Hell!
I made it perfectly clear that she would be better coming another day when I could offer her my full attention, then she said to littlun,"Your mum doesnt want me to come round"
I had to politely protest that ,Of Course She was Welcome........,
but at 9 I was watching my show on tv.
After assuring me she would have left by nine I let her come over.
Of course by 9 she was still there!
Trying to torture the protocol and common courtesy rule,thinking I would ignore my distraction in favour of bieng a proper host to my guest.
SOD THAT!
I jus got up and went into me room to watch it.
Shouting "come in here, OK"
She had already broken her side of the bargain, by suggesting she made herself a cup of tea at five to nine.
So when they came in.
I was well away, reliving the week when Mat and Russ were away.
Recalling the radio shows done from the States.
Drinking in every aspect of the trip.
The peanut butter, meeting the street people.
Well, blow me down..They came in with the tea, and started to talk to me.
AGH NOOOOOOO!
I spat at littly to be quiet, hoping the message would get over to her.
NO CHANCE
Yabber yabber.
Then her phone rung,an she expected me to turn the tv down to hear her call.
To my relief, it was someone coming to pick er up.
Then she expected me to see her out and went through the charade of wanting to get my number.
I told her, as I do everyone else,
theres no point calling me coz I only get the phone out of the cupboard to call people, then disconnect it and put it back.
I cant bear the phone ringing, it makes me jump out of my skin.
forces me to say a few expletives and drag meself to answer it.
An generally ties me, for great lengths of time, to exhaust meself,gettin envolved.
Basically intruding on our domestic bliss.
She gave me a funny look and made me promise to come for New Year.
Go for New Year, Oh God, how do I get out of that.
She put me off royally the other week.....
I had bumped into her [yet again in ASDA]
We cruised through the isles chatting.
When we got to the booze isle she mentioned about Christmas.
Like a sucker, I made the stupid move to invite her to mine for Christmas, regretting it while the words were still warm and slipping out of my lips.
Suddenly she had turned it around and, I was going to hers for Christmas,oh, and it was going to be a Christmas with a Russian theme...Russian THEME??
Shes not Russian.
Oh, it was like adding insult to injury.
RUSSIAN THEME! ON CHRISTMAS DAY...I dont think so.......mate!
But I found myself standing there nodding like noddy, sayin"yeah, that sounds lovely, good!"
We went to the checkout together. She went through first.
Midway putting her stuff through, she announced to the cashier that she was just quickly going to go and get some deoderant.
WHAT?
And off she went. Abandoning me and the cashier.
I was so embarrassed, so for the time, just shut down and pretended I had nothing to do with her.
I just gazed into the middle distance as if I deep in thought.
Then I bumped into a woman from the church. So tried to put on my best church face and make gentile conversation, exchanging rueful smiles. She went to the cash desk next to mine to pay.
After what seemed like ages, I had a memory lapse and started to put my shopping through.
Oh no.
When myn friend eventualy returned, with her can of smart price deoderant, it all transpired that I had jumped the gun. All my shopping had to be taken back so she could continue with hers.
The cashier was very patient.
I started trying to make polite conversation
Commenting on her lovely tan, and asking where she had been.
Trying to show an enthusiastic interest in her surfing holiday in Malasia.
Fervently making delighted sounds.
I thought I was doing a good job of smoothing things out.
I wanted to look good to the woman from church as well, aware that she might be observing.
I was shocked at this point when my friend aggressively gestured to the cashier that she had made a mistake. Waving her hand at her like she was the contemptable hired help. I was dying inside...
The cashier had taken the twenty quid she had put down to pay.
She was gesticulating at her for wrongly taking the cash, expecting the cashier to have realised that she only wanted to pay half cash and half card...So she had enough cash to pay a taxi home.
Ah bloody hell....at this point the managers were called in to deal with all the curfuffel. There were three of them.
I was trying not to let things get to the point that they would look at me disaproovingly for all the trouble she was causing. So went into the middle distance gaze again.
Unbelievably, my (friend!) had scarpered again to get some milk, leaving me to stand there like a prize pillock.
I was getting a bit hot under the collar. There was nothing I could say now to bring this back from the brink.
They tried to rope me in, asking a question about the transaction with my friend. I denied any knowledge of any of the proceedings.
My mouth got the better of me, and in a moment of illadvised social commentary. I voiced my abstract thoughts.
That, as the three of them stood there with their matching green ASDA shirts, looming with exhasperation on their faces....
"When I look at you," I said, "I am overpowered by the sea of greeness."
They wernt impressed,scowling in disgust.
I went hastily back to the everfading middle distance.
That lady from the church, had done her shopping, but was just lurking nearmy cash desk, doing a "middle distance", dreamy look, but actually taking in all of the shame I was experiencing.
Eventually after what seemed like an eternity, the girl I was with returned with her milk and finished her transaction.
Having put the shop to so much trouble, she anounced in a really hoity toity voice,"I will be paying for the milk at the kiosk,on my way out!"
As if they had greatly inconvenienced her!.
What do you do.
Throughout the whole thing I had tried to maintain a good countanance. But on the way home, moaned in a defeated tone to littlun at how humiliating she had been.
I said to make a mental note NOT to go for Christmas...to the SYCHOS..
So when we met her on Wednesday, I was so relieved when she anounced that she was going to the Canary Islands for Christmas. She shouted at me passionately that she had tried to contact me and had no choice as she hadnt heard back.
I sort of mumbled that I had been having second thoughts anyway.
Poor girl.
But hey we,re all in it together.
Theres no Russell Brand show tonight.
I wanted to go home at four, to see him on the Richard and Judy book club. But ended up staying in here instead.
Oh, the other day. I was feeling a bit dire. What with the prospect of Chrimbo, and there was a knock at the door.
It was the postman.
With a special delivery.
After sighning for it, we ran downstairs to open it. We just stared at the marvel of the large brown envelope for a while. Aint everyday you get one of them.
After feelingit a bit we became impatiant.
I ripped it open.
What do you think came tummbling out?
A book with pink writing, and beautifully embossed with flowers...
Russells BOOKYWOOK
Me bestest mat ever had sent it,Kara.
Whata diamond.
Littlun says I cant read it till Christmas, so everytime he comes into the room, I have to quickly throw it down and pretend I,m reading a magazine.
Ay?
Thanks for taking the time to read me drivvel.
I loveyou.
Mwoa
xxxxxx
Look at my 2 new you tube videos,on becs4life,theyre ramblings about waterboarding and christmas cheer. But lacking the cheer.
I love you.
Looking forward to spicey girl interview and long awaited sat show.
Hey there.
I,m at the library, just rented Spiderman, transformers and the simsons vid from here.
ALRIIIGHT!!!!!
God bless you have a great Chrimbo.
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Well, there we go..........
The eve before the eve.
Done all the last bits.
Its amazin how much you can spend on loads of little things.
I was so grateful of the money my birth dad sent me.
Got a turkey and pud.
Gunna get some pop for littlun then its, batton down the hatches for days of dvds,and telly.
Groan.
The other day I felt self concious for being so sad about the onset of Christmas. So I tried to perk up and get envolved.
Joined the great throngs of consumers marching towards the traditions of Christmas.
So walking home the other day, with a face full of hope and good tidings, I looked down and sat there was a drug addict, crouching, his eyes were shutting as he was gouching.
He had a clear bag with one or two items of clothing.
It was evident that he had been outed from the nightshelter.
It totally stole my smile and pride in Christmas cheer.
I would have preferred to have passed him in my former mood.
Living the emptiness of it all.
I would have felt so much more sincere.
The great gap that my new optimism gave became so large.
I was onother species walking past.
As if he were invisible.
What can you do?
I listened to the show last night a Russes house, it was so good.
I was fasinated to have the guided tour from Mat, around chez Rusks.
The singing group were really good. And I imagined Russ,s flat to look like a winter wonderland.
After the show I was all wound up and excited.
Recently I,ve gone to bed and suddenly found myself wide awake. Thats certainly what happened last night.I put on a nice calming local Christian Radio channel on my personal radio and was lying in bed singing away.
When I took of the headphones to check the volume of my voice,I found it was to loud.
The neighbours would have rightly asumed that a nutter lives downstairs from them.
Cattawaulling at two am.
With the heating on minimum I have taken to walking round the house sometimes with my fur[fake]coat and gloves on.
Then wearing my cagool and skarf to bed.
Its amazing the insulating effect of caggols.
Shame they didnt have them in the days of Oskar Wilde. In those days it was a cravatte and smoking jacket. They wouldnt have known themselves with the breathable effects of the shell wind cheater.
I just couldnt slep last night.
Every time I closed my eyes to slumber Horible situations came up around me. I entered uncomfortable dreams.
I hate it when that happens.
Read the first couple of chapters of Booky Wook today.
SO well written.
Almost prose.
Very disturbing, putting me in mind of how rotten childhood can be.
I
have to go, its curfew time at this bar.
Take it easy.
Dont do anything I wouldnt do.
On second thoughts you could do those things I wuldnt do. Might turn out rather pleasant.
MASSIVE HUGG
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Here we are Christmas eve.
We joined in the festivities by having a subway, sub of the day.
In the bar, drinkin wine. Lots of tension, the 6 oclock barman has turned up pissed out of his brains. So the barman thats bin here since 12 cant go home.
Its wierd,like bieng back at home growing up.
You dont know who to side with. I,m on the side of Marve, whos blind drunk. Wel it is Christmas eve.
Bieng given the filthy looks from other directions.
God, tyipical of my life. I always think the wrong things. Cant take my direction from a higher knowledge.[if i would , Id go home]
But the day seems to call for some abandon. A culmination of A year of grief, dealing with death and all sorts of agro.
The sheer idea of whats irt al about hits you between the eyes and you think, WHAT the HeLL
I,ve got to stay reasonably sober to wrap up all of Santas toys.
Blow it maybe this will be one of the years to leave it off.
Tommorrow wil be dire.
I wil probably mess up the TOKEN christmas dinner.
Its all so pony, when your' e on your own.
So i,m glad of something to punctuate it.
I would like nothing more than to get pissed and cry.
But my life will still be the same the next day. Nothing will have changed.
AND
A MERRY
CHRISTMAS
TO YOU
ONE AND ALL
Thank GOd for Jesus,.
A new beginning is promised by his birth,
He was born today
[dont you dare quibble about the exact day]
He would have felt like me,
if he were here now.
In the words of Billy Holiday
God bless the child that has.
At least I know it is the season that is too extreem and unmanageable for me.
Not my life, when the seasons gone, the clarity will reemerge.
Dont mean to sound high fellouted.
Sorry..
He is real though, Jesus.
And without him I would have no hope at all.
Hi Guys,
Hope you all had a lovely christmas. Hope you had chance to unwind Russell, you have been working so hard I worry that you`ll burn out but i guess you thrive on entertaining your beloved fans. My christmas was mixed with sadness and joy, On Christmas eve I met up with a dear friend of mine, he lost his wife around six weeks ago to cancer. I felt humbled that he had decided to call on me at such a painful time. I spent the eveining trying to console him and say all the `right things` but there is nothing you can say that can heal such pain all you can do is be there. As we sat listening to people laughing and dancing celebrating christmas eve I thought to myself how meaningless it all felt. We must`nt forget the people who are on their own, we must reach out to them in some way and stop getting caught up in all this commercialism and materialsim, we dont need it but we need eachother and the human spirit is so strong when there are people who can reach out to the `vunerable`. I work in mental health and I find that at christmas feelings of pain and wothlessness are evoked, people feel like they have to conform and go through all the motions of one day, the true meaning of christmas is lost in a commercial haze!!! The greatest gift anyone can give is love and friendship. I was inspired my Russell and Matt `on the Road` Russell was really trying to get the message across that without spiritualty the world would be meaningless, he really touched me when he reached out to the homeless people, it reminded me of my best mate becky who has worked with the homeless in a soup kitchen and is so kind to the working girls in her area.
Anyway I have to go as Im at work,.
I wish you all the best for 2008.
Godbless.
Kara xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Der!
Karachi, got her bloggy in, she,ll be well pleased.
Shes just gone on line at home, so hopefully you,ll be hearing a lot more from her camp. She,s such a saint, going and visiting people with mental health problems every day. I dont know how she does it.
It would be too much for me.
I,ve seen her with her clients, shes so compassionate.
I,m glad to put civilian clothes back on. Have a bath and put me face on and get out.
We were bunkered in for the Christmas period.
Just weathering it in my book.
It was such a fass in some ways.
The dvds we had got onlty lasted two days.[as if out rations had run out]
We were like the family on Willy Wonkers Chocky factory. Charly,s relatives all si5tting up in their night clothes as if this werte a normal carry on.
Sitting in bed as a matter of course.
Only there were two of us.
Tiddly was so pleased with his Santas pressies.
On Christmas eve I became horribly anebriated.
At the bar. I was SO ashamed.
This guy kept buying me drinks.
As it was only early I wasnt too worried. I knew by about 12 I would be sober. Terrible waste of money. We were getting nasty looks off the bar staff as we were conspiring to hava laugh with the barman who turned up for work drunk.
Its a geeky internet bar, and the likes of me are not the ideal cliantelle. I just wing it but I can sence the vibes going, GET OUT.
But on the way home I was practically paralettic.
Weeing in someones ally.
I kept apologising to littlun, saying that my mum never got that drunk. He was very forgiving.
He went straight to bed when we got in at 9.
I set about wrapping a mamoth pile of stuff.
DRUNK.
At about 1.30am it was delivered.
Chrissy morn was a delight.
He was so pleased.
I was shocked at the amount of stuff when it was altogether.
Its a powertul thing trying to get the balance.
At 4oclock, I thought I should get the Christmas dinner on.
Token dinner.
It was ready at about 6.
I put a lovely table cloth on and tried to present it all nicely.
We had 2 spuds which I baked with the turkey.
I loaded the plates up.
Poured on the gravy, from the old pan, as we aint got a boat.
A bit too vigerously so it ended up dripping onto the table.
We sat there.
Eating the festive fare.
It was in the gap between the movie and DR Who.
As I had forseen, it was all over and littlun had gone within 15 minutes.
I sat there, looking at his plate, still half full and the table all ponced up.
The same old rigmerol every year.
I left the washing up and joined him in the bed to watch the Dr.
I will have to change the bed, as its covered in sweety papers and crumbs.
At the end of each day, I cleared it of toys and books and steightened up the bedclothes, as the duvet had come out of the cover.
On boxing day there was a knock at the door.
I was looking disshevelled, so just poked me head round the corner.
It was that nice old guy who mended me puncture, proposed and brought littlun a present from the pound shop.
He was with a friend.
Seeing that I was in no mood to invite him and is mate in, he presented me with a box of mince pies and went on his way.
I was made up and ran downstairs to tuck in to the pies with littlun.
Although there were only 4 in the packet of 6 we enjoyed them warmed up with cream.
It like we hAVE BEEN IN THE TRENCHES FOR THE LAST TWO DAYS.
Me on lookout for any unwanted callers.
Tellin meself that noone would turn up, as they dont normally.
This morning there was an arrival of a tall dark stranger,it were the post man, delivering good tidings and exotic gifts from e bay.
This visitor, we did welcome with a smile.
I have to say that turkey stuffing spoilt the whole meal as it was salty.
I have seen enough turkey now, to last a lifetime, well, a year.
I put a load in the freezer.
Mournfully wondering to meself why I surcummed to the pressure to purchase a turkey.
It was a tenner!
But you have to make sacrifices to fit in, and appear to onlookers that you are having a good one.
So all the best to ya.
Love you loads.
Berryy Listmas
Sherry Giftmas
Be good
Hi Bex and the Brand Gang!!!
Hello again is`nt it great being able to pour your heart out on this site its like internet counselling!!! I just want to lock myself in my room and blog for the rest of my life!!!
Today I met up with my friend Tony he has taken to calling himself Tony Blake from the film The Stud!!!! He`s such a character, we met up in Tesco for tea and light refreshments. I had to stuff myself with tescos finest sandwhiches while mr blake looked on in disgust he is a strict vergetarian like our Russell and will not eat anything with a face. He started his conquest as a non `face eater` around eighteen years ago he had come out of a nighclub quite high on some hallucinanic drug and had a craving for a kebab, he was just about to take a mouthfull out of the kebab when a sad face appeared on the kebab saying `please dont eat me!!! it freaked him out so much he never touched meat again!!!!!!!! He is a vegan six months of the year dont ask me which part of the year. Its weird seeing Tony again and getting on so well Beck and I used to hang out with him years ago but it all went pete tong between us and we kind of lost touch. Tony used to have a cruch on our Becks and tried to seduce her with a capful of brandy one night, he had fashioned a key out of his mums drink cabinet keys and would regulary use this when his supplies had run out (cheeky mare!!} Tiny has not drunk a drop of alcohol since he had a bad incident around eight years ago, in a way this is a blessing as he was a heavy drinker. Now a days mr b! will only drink the finest coffee and tesco tea he has evolved from the wretched alcohol (wish i could say the same) I have to go now as Im secretly blogginh on my sisters laptop hope I can bore you with some snippets of my bizarre past another time.
Loadsalove and cuddly stuff!!!
Kara
Intensified,grilling,head down
Dodge the shilling
Or penneth worth
For all its dirth
Self effacing, retrospective naval gazing
Appraisal coming in and out of focus
Tell me its all hocus pocus
Or is it true
Has avoidance,morphed into
Ignorance, arrogance
Here I sit up on my high horse
Ready for assasinations
Battering force
Who can reach my ivory tower
I will hide in here
Wait, flower
I don't know how to relate
Is it all a barrage of nothingness
Taking the usual face
Of pre delinquency fate
Forgive me if I do not
Let the distraction make me hot
I have to stay
Attraction my only lot
To speak of, do I live a half life
To which Howard Hughes would be proud
Don't hunt me stunt me,in my mourning shroud
Waiting at the bottom of the tunnel shouting loud
Desparation aint a road I'm prepared to take
To tell you what you want to hear
A mistake
I'm riding high on the vacuam cloud
Parhaps electricity, will cause us to look up
Take notice, feel the others cup
Each must drink from his own
When shared be prepared for tensions groan
I cant hear the fears of
Whisperings,
Concience
Spiking,
Prodding
Poisoned spear to make me late
Shut your mouth you stupid mate
Busy with a life of levels levitate
Merging in something
Bearable to propergate
I need to feel not the need of needs felt
Have reeled in fields less awake
Accusations fly high
Dont make me catch
It in my hand
Barbed to lacerate
Let it flutter in the sky
Cant hack heady insinuation
Find I lack the inclination
Raise the bar of intonation
At least give me the dignity
Of excuses
Convict me for my dillusions
I touched you by the same measure
Put your actions in my ledger
Sparks fly as we rub shoulders together
Responsibility to take
Me floating nether
Squandering squalid constructive
Critisism
Inflated ego
Predominantly ever
Tickling my chances of never
Slicing through lifes
Changing weather
Hi guys,
hope you had a good Christmas.
Russ, the pic of you with your Mum at the premier of St. Trinians is lovely, you should get it blown up and have it on display at home.
I,m looking forward to the show tonight, it seems like two years since the last show.
I,ve got three quarters through bookywook,wow, what a frank and painfully honest account.
I would feel so liberated to get al my lifes foiballs off my chest.
It is almost an act of dispensing with the past and creating a distance from it.
Can,t wait to hear of all your newsypoos.
Did you do the murder mystery yet?
Until tonight........
xx
I just found out I got the job of my dreams yesterday and now the show tonight is the icing on the cake! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and a good murder mystery party at Matt's. Would you play "Oh, What a Night (December 1963)" on the show later? It has sentimental value for me as my roommate in college used to blast it before we'd go out on dates. Anyhoo, luvoo all.
KJane
A winters day came to an end
To whom her pain could send
When right was wrong the trail no end
Believe in yule tides face a friend
deception contrition could wait no longer
Caught up in crushing pressure stronger
Wait my love receeding nature will
Save you
You will be freed hold on
Though the surface where you can breath is up or down
It wont claim your life
Belonging to essential crown
Cling on though your chest explode
You will not perish beneath the load
When you rise weak from exhaustion
Carried safely to the conclusion
Nothing will hold you back from
Riding the waves again
It provides your fundimental core
Though scratches and trauma bore
The journeys hand you must hold
You will land in times of gold
Earths story must unfold
Till the glory of your part is told
You ran you fell
You drowned and
came alive
You took the step
But fell so foul
Now whats left but enigma entrappment not
Entering entice the gander
He will stock the boots meander
Never not never hold
The sideshow blot is not my leaning
Never meaning squinting seeming
Touch me catch me dont wave your patent at me
What reality do you expect me to behold
Give your gift to the soothsayers aid
Sift your rift to my radiant shade
My endowment is from another
Bejewelled radiance causing shudder
But to you
I have laid a place
Now take your seat
Be found in grace
Hi,babies!
You were SOO ill, wernt you, on Saturday.
Thankyou so much for doing the show!
For some reason, although its described as manic by the radio times, I find that it provides a bit of sanity in my life. Lifed is so crazy it just balances the equasion and the craziness seems to hit the spot and reaches the parts other shows cant reach, your style is nice and spontanious. Your vulnerability and frankness, shows a depth.
Ii get sick of people with all their defences up.
But you dont ,you just do us proud.
Now, do you want to hear my news?
No?
Ah well I,ll tell you anyway.
I wasnt expecting to go out Nw Yrs Eve.
Got in fron bieng at the internet bar, ready for a night of telly.
After two minutes of walking in, I saw something by the front door, white paper.
Ad a look and it was an invitation to a party.
SSSSSSOOOOOO
excited.
Thinkin what I would wear, lookin at the state of me Tony Blair[hair]
Me roots needed doin, but I faught I wouldn't av enough time to trim it meself and bleach the roots, puttin some lovely coloured streaks in.
I opted for, sticking a large bird in the oven[chicken] to take.
An go to the shop for a bottle of vino.
I had just over 2 hours to work wonders in pre party preparations.
I left littlun at ome to play on is PS2, an set off for the shop.
Half way down the road,I could see a drunk in the distance shouting and singing aggressively.
Bit nervous I started to cross, only to see him go into the road to cross at the same time.
So I doubled back and carried on, hoping to avoid him.
For some reason, he must have clocked the inconsistencies of my actions and felt affronted by them.
Evidence of this was found when, A second later he started shouting in my direction.
" YOU fat COW!"
" you FAT cow"
I ignored him pulling my coat up round my neck.
Then again, to try to make a greater impact he shouted,
"Your roots need dying!"
"You FAT....LUMP of LARD!"
"YOU FAT ...LUMP....OF LARD!!!"
Bloody great aint it.
Although my feathers were a bit ruffled, I sort of tried to brush the hurtfull comments off,
reenforcing a imaginative commendation and self appraisal,
No, you are glamerous, sophisticated and quite smart.
On I went to the shop.
By the looks of the empty car park, it was closing.
I wanted to ask the trolley man, but thought he would take too much satisfaction in sayiong it was closed.
The countless times in days gone by, that I have taken my trolley down the escalator ramp, then through, to the other end of the car park, to abandon it.
As I have done this I have met the eyes of the trolley man, as he thanklessly trawlls stray trolleys in their huge snaking convoy across the carpark.
And I,ve feld a bit bad.
Sometimes I have relinquished the trolley, when under pressure, annd he is practically standing over at me glaring.
I did ask him, he was sweet and there was no animosity at all.
But two more drunks were standin by the door, gurning, trying to work out how to carry their heavy cases of beer,one was placing his on his head.
They both simultaneously, gurned their patronising reenforcement with glee, that the shop was shut,trying to look sad and sympathetic, but it wer,nt washing.With me.
I just looked, then put me nose in the air, gave a sideways glance to them [of slight distain]
And stalked off to the garage.
There was a ton of reduced meat there, so I got that with the wine.
At the cash desk there was a massive que.
Every time the assistant tried to put the packets of meat in a plastic carrier, it split,the meat fallin everywhere.
This appened a few times.
So I suggested he used a few bags inside each other.
Walking across the forecourt, my shoppin done, a drunk swaggered accross me path asking for money.
I looked at him piercingly,with a foghorn voice bellowed NO [I,d bin stung by this guy before]
Takin the mick out of me.
He replied by thanking me for treating him like a human bieng, more than most people do..................................?
Then asked if e could ask me another favour....
Well I got home.
Opted for me Micheal Jackson look.
Sequined black top, with cream satin suit jacket.
Threw on more eyeshadow and we set off.
Warm chicken and wine in hand.
Oh it were a lovely party.
I had a lot to drink, and danced all night!
What a sight, but when youve ad a few it dont matter.
Everyone was really nice.
There was a chef making lamb curry.
He seemed like a tv chef, givingf step by step descriptions of what he was doing.
Through the night, he stopped and had a drink. He had a lovely turkish girlfriend.
We had fireworks at 12
The chef got really fruity after about 3 or 4
His girlfrieng wanted to go, but he preferred to stay and letch over the women.
Bit pushy but we were just laughing at him.
Anyway the girl left,then before we knew it there was an older woman ringing at the doorbell ,I went to the door and she was standin there in her towelling dressing gown.
I thought she were a neighbour complaining about the noise.
She asked top see Andy.
I went to see Mr Letch, sayin ,Is he Andy?
He said yes.
I said there was a woman at the door for him and he scarpered into the kitchen.
I went back to the woman, and she was insistant to seeAndy [face on er like thunder]
I told her to go in and get im
She did, and dragged him out.
We all ran to the front window and peeked to see what was goin on.
His bird was in the front.
The older woman, threw him in the car like a toddler, and swiped him.
Beating him up.
We all howled.
I didnt leave the party tiil
9am
We ad a lovely breaky.
COR
LOVELY
Love you
xxxxx