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After three years at university the magnetic strip on my bank card is thin and wavering.

By the time I graduate this summer I will have accumulated an estimated student debt of 拢10,000.听Unfortunately, I cannot attribute this debt to annual subscriptions to literary journals or recurrent trips to the union bookshop.

In Loughborough Student's Union, the pinnacle of all Loughborough students' experience, the socially inept are few and far between.听

A night out in this hub of social promiscuity boasts the bravado of the sports stars and the boldness of maths students marinading in their spilt pint of nasty.听

The Dress Code

Although students have been stereotyped by their occasional slobbish exterior, flip-flops in winter and slogan laced hoodies that denote club affiliation, a night in the union demands a strict dress code.听

Preparation for Wednesday night involves perusing the rails of the local charity shop or fancy dress store in the hope of discovering something that will render you a golfer fresh from the putting green or else a smurf for the evening.听

Last Wednesday's accessories, including face paint and a child's tu-tu, cost me around 拢15.

More Expenses

A cab to the union is always preferable when considering the effects of the blustery winter weather on freshly preened barnets; coupled with the fact that we are all dressed in clothes reminiscent of a hot summer's day.听

A cab to the union costs 拢1 divided amongst friends and the return cab, needed after five hours dancing on blistered feet, cost me 拢2.50.听

Entry to the union was also 拢2.50 whilst the cloakroom set me back 拢1.听On a Wednesday night the union is famed for its pound drink offers and so the night's expenditure peaked at a mere 拢10.

Freebie Pizza

Arriving back at the student abode hungry and weary to discover that my food cupboard had morphed into a vast expanse of emptiness, the local Pizzeria arrives delivering a stupendous offer of buy one get one free for 拢7.50.听

This purchase is the only one of the night to serve me well in the long term, my fancy dress outfit now resembling a paper mach茅 disaster.听

When I wake in the morning to discover my purse strings tattered and frayed, having spent 拢39.50 preserving my social etiquette, at least I will have my cold but nonetheless freebie pizza to console me.