Voiceover
Join new dad Tom, as he recalls the early days of fatherhood. The stress, the struggles and the strain of dealing with the dark side of dad life. Wipes, nappies and nose pegs at the ready鈥 It's 'The Perils Of Poo'. Ahhh, it's on my finger!
Tom
The first time it happened in public. I really had no idea what to do. Then I found it! My go-to place. The place where amazing things can happen. The baby changing room!
Where a dad can find time and space to get things sorted. Well, it is, as long as you know how to use it.
Ah! Safety first! Back then, baby poo totally freaked me out.
Baby
That's a big old bum wrecker. Sorry, dad. Now you can crack on! It's reet up me back.
Tom
I'd carefully thought about and considered my options for battling the deadly dump.
Baby
Aha! Really? That's a bit over the top, innit? It's only poo!
Tom
How about this?
Baby
Oh, wish he'd get a move on. I can feel it drying on me bum cheeks.
Tom
Right. Here goes!
Baby
That's it, Dad. Wipe like your life depended on it. Yep! Don't be shy. I like plenty of cream. Slap it on like icing on a birthday cake.
Tom
Of course, the nappies are vital. Fortunately, one of the most useful things when you're a new dad is other dads. Who knew that newborn babies can need changing between ten and twelve times a day? And I realised nappy time's a great chance to have a face-to-face chat with my little man.
Baby
Bah bah bah bah bah.
Tom
Bah bah bah bah!
Baby
Oh hang on. He's repeating what I'm saying! Let's hear you say this one dad鈥 Bum鈥 Sick鈥 (laughs)
Tom
Aha! Tummy and toes!
Baby
I'll give him this one. The boy's done good!
Tom
Oh, and the last piece of advice鈥 Don't forget a change of clothes!
Baby
Same again, please! Pretty sure I can feel this one's all the way up me neck!