The parenting advice you are sick of hearing

A young couple with baby surrounded by people giving advice. — Image caption,
Advice comes from all sides when you have a baby.

When you have a baby, everybody is full of advice. Some good, some bad. Some useful, some utterly useless.

And babies aren’t one-size-fits-all, so even if one parent swears by their technique for getting baby to sleep, it doesn’t mean it’s going to work with yours.

Now, we know that people are usually just trying to be helpful, and it can be good to get a word of advice to feel like you’re not doing it all on your own.

But there are some 'helpful' tips that parents are just sick and tired of hearing.

We spoke to both parents and health professionals to find out the advice they find the most maddening…

Feeding

A dad carrying all sorts of baby milk products, including breast pumps, formula milk and breast pads. — Image caption,
‘Everyone has an opinion on how you should feed your child milk’.

There’s endless advice when it comes to feeding babies.

‘You should be breastfeeding’.

‘You should be bottle feeding’.

‘You should try a mix of some bottle feeding and some breastfeeding’.

‘You shouldn’t be breastfeeding in public’.

‘You shouldn’t be breastfeeding until that age’.

‘You should carry on trying to breastfeed’.

‘You should be feeding more often’.

‘You shouldn’t feed them so often’.

‘You should give them a ‘dream feed’’.

‘Why on earth are you feeding them when they’re sleepy?’.

As one of our parents said ‘everyone has an opinion on how you should feed your child milk’, and at the end of the day, each family has to find the way that’s right for them.

Sleeping

A dad wide awake during the day when baby is asleep, and then fast asleep at night as baby wakes up. — Image caption,
It’s not like you’ve spent your whole adult life sleeping for around 8 hours and waking up at a similar time each morning.

‘Sleep when the baby sleeps’.

This bit of advice came up time and time again when it came to parenting peeves.

Yeah, ok, so you just have to try and turn yourself off like a lightbulb every time your baby nods off. That’s simple enough right?

I mean, it's not like you’ve spent your whole adult life sleeping for around 8 hours and waking up at a similar time each morning is it?

Of course, you’ll be fine just tuning in to when your baby feels like sleeping, no matter what time of day or night and for however long they feel like sleeping for.

Yeah, right!

And it’s not like you have anything else to be getting on with when baby is asleep, is there? You can just drop everything for a little nap, right?

Come on people, get real!

Saying ‘Sleep when the baby sleeps’ is NOT helpful!

Weaning

A baby in a high chair making a huge mess. — Image caption,
We decided 'Bolognese Red' was the perfect shade for our living room - we let baby paint.

‘Shouldn’t they be having solid food by now?’.

The word from the NHS is to wait at least 6 months before trying to wean your baby on to solid foods. Some babies might seem ready earlier, some later. But it’s best to use this as a rule.

While ‘it didn’t do you any harm’ might be your parents’ argument, it’s best to follow the latest medical guidance on this rather than evidence from the past.

‘Don’t let them make such a mess’.

What? Isn’t ‘Bolognese Red’ the latest fashionable paint shade?!

Your child is exploring the world of tastes and textures and learning how to use their mouths to eat for the first time. Of course this is going to be messy work!

Cuddling

‘Don’t cuddle them so much, you’ll make a rod for your own back!’

A health visitor we spoke to said this is something she hears all the time. Apparently, showing your love to your baby will mean they get ‘too clingy’ and dependent.

Guess what, it’s not true!

In fact, lots of skin-to-skin contact and cuddling helps babies to grow up feeling loved and secure. And it can be great for your mental wellbeing too, helping you to bond with your baby and feel their love.

This means you simply can’t cuddle your baby enough – so get smushing!