³ÉÈËÂÛ̳

The Egg Heads programme aired on Sept 25th had a question about "Who was the fifth Beetle" We all know it was George Best but they showed the correct answer as being 'George Martin. How can the ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ get something so wrong - can I get a job at your station please.

As a computer user and IT support person who ISN'T called Steve, can I make some simple suggestions to people having problems with PCs running Microsoft Windows (any version):

1) Ignore what ANY support person called Steve says.

2) Shut down your PC.

3) Unplug all cables.

4) Pick up all items and dispose of them out of the nearest window / in the nearest dustbin.

5) Go and buy yourself an Apple Mac.

6) Enjoy using a computer that works.

7) Revel in the fact that you'll never need to phone any "Steves" again.

Hope that helps Dom (and others). Switch to a Mac and you will NEVER want to go back to Windoze and all of its problems, viruses and security holes.

Cheers
Barry

hmmmmmm.

not sure i like your comment: it's the very "clever" people, usually men,

I work on a IT helpdesk, and i am most def a lady!!!!

still love your egg head!!!

faye

Hi Dominic,

You have an egg for a head and I think you're GREAT!

:-)

Dom,

I have problems with technical support people too, and I work with them !!
By the way, come on the Reds.
Cheers Dom keep up the good work.

HI Dom,

Why is it everyone is coming out with the same jokes, ie. my Kylie stopped working so I phoned 'Steve' and he told me to re-boot my Rick Astley etc. etc.etc. People are so fabulously inane and unimaginative aren't they?

Never mind, my foliclly challenged friend. Keep up the good work,

Ally

Hi dom,
You are very contraversial aren't you?
love chloe xxx

hey hey. This is a wee message for Dom unrelated to the blog. I think your good on the show dom, but I think the one road travel feature is dyin a bit now. I'd like to know if I'm the only one thinkin this or not. I also think ya should sneak up on chris with that hair trimmer with no adapter on it. just give him a baldy patch at the back.

cheers

Hello Dom

Great Idea! The last time I rang IT support, I fixed the problem myself (My Joss Stone was not connected to the Rudebox) and then told the bloke (Steve) how I'd done it - I think IT Support bods are grossly overrate(In my opinion)!

Dom,
Gett the dummies guide to computers...that should sort you out!!
x

Dom,

As you have an egg for a head then I thought that you should be good at computers.

Ah well, appears not all egg heads are cracked out to be computer geeks.

However if you do need a computer then rather than using pop stars names just use politicians. You could buy the Tony Blair computer - most likely to be found in the bargain corner and most likely to be obsolete.

Cheers

Jamie

Dom,

I hate computers too but the sad truth is I'm in IT Support! I think I'm getting a hold of this technical stuff but it took a while for me to figure out that the coffee cup holder is in fact the CD thingy. I've been winging it for a while now but it won't be long before I get found out.

NumLock

I work in the motor trade supplying parts to mechanics and i am in the same boat as in if a mechanic comes to me and asks for a hydroponic transistor leg all i can do is give a blank expression and ask someone who actually does know.

i think all car parts should be renamed to things like food i.e instead of the afor mentioned part they ask for a steak and kidney pie with mushy peas and chips much easier to understand!

or to make things eisier we should use species of fresh water fish so instead fo a hydroponic transister leg you would ask for a trout or a chubb or something thanks for your time i hope i made someones life easier in soem way even though i havnt actually done nuffink.

qwertyuiop!

My Lord

Dominic you feel my pain - our office has had non stop problems from our computers over the last few weeks and I have lost the will! I have just only managed to get onto the internet to read this and no doubt it will kick me out within minutes. I backup your idea 100% and lets hope all of the ICT offices everywhere rename each excel spreadsheet 'Bruce Springsteen!'

As an IT support person who is honestly called Steve, can I ask people to make my life simpler in several ways?

1) Don't use Apple Macs. While fine in small groups, they are the very spawn of the devil when they gang up.

2) When calling to report a problem, please understand that saying "My computer isn't working" or words to that effect (often with added c*** and bol***ks etc) is often not a particularly helpful thing to say.

3) Sometimes (well, quite often really) things go wrong for no reason and we can't explain why. They come back after a little while, which is why turning off your pc and then turning it on again often helps.

4) Shouting doesn't help (although hitting the pc - not hard - sometimes does and is very theraputic)

Hope this helps. If not, call back and I'll og it for you.

Cheers,

Steve

Hi Dom,

Great idea! Might help us remember what is what in that computer box!

I used to get so many problems on my pc just like you, and it's annoying to ask for help all the time. Now I switched to Mac the problem nearly never happened. Most of the time they solve themselves or I can find the solutions online. At worst there are always people to pick your Rudebox up and fix it, just a phone call away. There are basically no problems in switching, especially for computer ignorant like you and me (and probably Dave)! Give it a shot!

Ah I.T Support - right up there with Traffic Wardens in my eyes.

You never see either of them until...

a) You double park
b) Your pc falls on it's botox.

They should both carry a scythe as they are nothing but messengers of doom.

I think they must hang out at the same bars comparing notes on the hapless souls they have destroyed with their words of despair...

"I'm sorry sir, thats a £30 fine" "I'm sorry sir, that a £30 fee for me answering this call, oh and by the way, your pc is sh*gged"

Pervalism by M.E Ellis/www.wildchildpublishing.com

I am getting more anti-computer each and every day. I'm tired of 'corupt files' and having to reinstall programs all the time. I spend more time fixing my computer than using it. Computers hate me, and I now hate them back.

But just when I thought I could avoid computers forever this blog came along and now I feel compelled to read it.

Dom I think i have the same problem (ish). My instant messenger has a Jack Johnson on its Oasis causing its Wonderwall to dissolve into the Ozzy Osbourne whilst simultaineously burning its McFly and crashing its Elvis. Not pretty as i now cant talk to my mates. Stupid Computers!

Dom,

My names Steve and i think thats a little harsh!!! We don't all work in Support Areas. Me i'm a temp / Bum and hope not really to support anyone, ever.

So please redress your problmes with Steve's and pick a name more fitting to this like Tony!!!

Love
Steve

Dom,

This is possibly the most important idea to modern computing since Charles Babbage himself first start playing with cogs.

In a single swoop you make computers come to the masses. I for one am on board.

In fact why stop with computers, there is no end of technology that could be better taught through the use of "Pop". The Apple sClub, Mircosoft XFactor.

Insert more bad puns as required.

hey Dom what a great idea i hate phoning people up to solve pc problems usually cause i get redirected to india or somewhere around that region and well its baisically like hitting your head against a brick wall infact that would be easier

great blog again anyway thanks Dom

hehe im the first person to comment on your blog no need to thank me! I lurv your Jim Branning impression very funny hahaha!ur pic of u is veryyyyyyyyyyyyy freaky !!?????
alice

Good luck defragmenting your rudebox Dom.

I've gotta start looking after my scissors too as it doesnt feel like dancing sometimes.

I like the idea Dom, but think of the rude inuendos that could arise, eg:
I think my Charlotte Church has been corrupted by a rogue Gary Glitter, which in turn has caused Meatloaf to spurt fluid over the face of Lemmy from Motorhead!

Hello Mr Byrne

My name is Dolores McCrumble and I am the wife of Dr Joseph McCrumble who has written comments on this blog previously. As he is currently locked up in a small Scottish jail cell, he has asked me to take up commenting on his behalf.

I am also not fond of computers, but I can see that naming each part after a singer or celebrity may result in confusion and sniggering. Imagine if the technician told you to slide Pete Docherty (the boot up CD) into Kate Moss (the CD drive), or to screw Noel Edmonds (the hard drive) gently into Chris Moyles ( the casing).

It doesn't stop there. You may need to firmly align Madonna (the graphics card) with the correct Pussy Cat Dolls (the graphics card slot) before pushing the two together. If Madonna rubs against Britney Spears (the sound card) whilst inserting her into Pussy Cat Dolls the wrong way round, you may find that Lily Allen (the mainboard) quite literally explodes.'

yours

Dolores