³ÉÈËÂÛ̳

³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ BLOGS - Magazine Monitor
« Previous | Main | Next »

Punorama results

13:38 UK time, Wednesday, 8 November 2006

music.203.jpg
It's time for the results of Punorama - we take a story from the news, you write a punning headline.

This week it's news that after a nationwide hunt to find the perfect Maria for the £5m West End production of The Sound Of Music, Captain Von Trapp isn't up to scratch.

Just one week before the curtain rises on Andrew Lloyd Webber's new show the leading man, actor Simon Shepherd, has been dropped because of "creative differences".

People, you were in fine voice this week - and who knew how many Sound of Music fans there were among you! The songs that make up the soundtrack of the much-loved musical provided rich pickings for many punners.

Idlevice, by Cayley in Buenas Aires, didn't cast much light on the story, but we still liked it. On the same theme, and somewhat more instructive, was Idle Voice by Janet and Kieran Boyle.

Also popular were variations on Dole, my dear? The lead male, dear? - this offering, by Brian Saxby, being the best of a very good bunch, which also included Murray Milne's "...which brings us back to - DOH!!" and No-Way-He-Par-So-Pa-He-Go by Jer B, along with Doh! Oh Dear! (Mark H, Sue Lee and Dan Davies), D'oh! oh dear, a failed male diva (Helene Parry) and Doh! Oh Dear! A flee male near! (Tim Knott).

Others to make use of the The sound of boos (sic) songbook (thanks Pix6, Vienna) include How do you solve a problem like my career? (Niall Nugent and Tim McMahon), The hills are deprived (Danny Burke) and Right off the bill is the lowly Shepherd (Colin Nelson).

Inspired by what might have transpired backstage was Steve Hickman with Stormy Webber, Candace with Simon told "Exit, stage bereft" and Maria callous, by Simon Rooke.

Short and sweet, and all the better for it, was "I'll get my goat" (Mike in Newcastle upon Tyne, and Mark Starling). Don't get it? Perhaps it's time for a repeat viewing of the film. We hear the Captain's very good in it.

Thanks to all who entered. Click on the comments form below to see the losing entries.

Comments

  1. At 04:02 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Eddie H wrote:

    The Trapp door opens

  2. At 04:03 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Shepherd over the hill?

  3. At 04:06 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Eddie H wrote:

    From Trapp to Trappist

  4. At 04:10 PM on 07 Nov 2006, JD wrote:

    Captain shown Trapp door

  5. At 04:15 PM on 07 Nov 2006, DR wrote:

    Captain Von Trappoor

  6. At 04:15 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    The hills are alive to the sound of critics.

  7. At 04:17 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Ed wrote:

    Non Clap Trapp

  8. At 04:17 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Brian Ritchie wrote:

    Scatterpun approach again:

    Shut your Trapp.
    Trappist off.
    Trapp sprung.
    Show shows Trapp door.
    Shepherd dropped - Trapp dour.
    Shepherd told to flock off.
    Shepherd loses bottle - be wrong Trapp.
    Trapped in Von Crapp?
    Webber in a storm?
    (re. "creative differences") Did someone tell Shepherd, "That's not A. Lloyd, Webber you want to play it that way or not!"?

  9. At 04:19 PM on 07 Nov 2006, wrote:

    Unsound for musical

    OR

    How do you recast a for foil for Maria?

  10. At 04:21 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Rob Falconer wrote:

    Rotters in Hammersmith

  11. At 04:23 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Steve Hickman wrote:

    Musical 'mares

  12. At 04:23 PM on 07 Nov 2006, wrote:

    'Bye' off the bill, there's a lonely Shepherd

  13. At 04:27 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Derek Behan wrote:

    Von Trapp now a Trappist!

  14. At 04:29 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Andy, Leeds, UK wrote:

    Nun-event

  15. At 04:30 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Rob Falconer wrote:

    Off on the dole was a lonely Shepherd

  16. At 04:33 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Gareth Jones, Anglesey wrote:

    A Dull Voice

  17. At 04:33 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Andy, Leeds, UK wrote:

    How do you save your own West End career?

  18. At 04:34 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Wimple Simon not going to be there.

  19. At 04:35 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Gareth Jones, Anglesey wrote:

    What is he going to do with his career?

  20. At 04:37 PM on 07 Nov 2006, wrote:

    He's not the Von

  21. At 04:37 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Andy, Leeds, UK wrote:

    Simon says "so long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye"

  22. At 04:40 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Noel wrote:

    Nun too good

  23. At 04:42 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Nick Rikker, Barcelona, Spain wrote:

    Webber overcast after Shepherd´s warning.

  24. At 04:43 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Gareth Jones, Anglesey wrote:

    The Sound of You - sacked!

  25. At 04:45 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Nick Rikker, Barcelona, Spain wrote:

    No clap Trapp after Shepherd´s Webber warning.

  26. At 04:48 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Nick Rikker, Barcelona, Spain wrote:

    No clap Trapp after Shepherd´s Webber warning.

  27. At 04:50 PM on 07 Nov 2006, James IW wrote:

    What do you do with a problem? Strike(out) career.

  28. At 04:58 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Shepherd's crooked

  29. At 05:01 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Lee Willis wrote:

    Shut your Trapp!

  30. At 05:02 PM on 07 Nov 2006, wrote:

    The Raus Trapp

  31. At 05:11 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Derek Behan wrote:

    Captain Gone Trapp!

  32. At 05:23 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Shepherd told to flock off.

  33. At 05:24 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Exit stage bereft.

  34. At 05:26 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Michael Daw wrote:

    High on the bill no more lonely shep-herd.

  35. At 05:38 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Beverly wrote:

    Captain von Scrapped

  36. At 05:41 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Jon Bright wrote:

    The bills can't survive

  37. At 05:48 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Patrick Rudland wrote:

    Captain Von Clapp Trapp

  38. At 05:52 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Rob Pallister wrote:

    Punorama:
    Non-Trapp?

  39. At 06:10 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Tim (Oxford) wrote:

    Captain von't rap.

  40. At 06:15 PM on 07 Nov 2006, wrote:

    Doh!

  41. At 06:15 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Susan wrote:

    "Von is not amusic"

  42. At 06:19 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Helene Parry wrote:

    Lack of peak practice

  43. At 06:21 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Pat McGarry wrote:

    "High on a hill was a lonely Shepherd."

  44. At 06:25 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Shepherd fleeced.

  45. At 06:27 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    High on a hill was a lonely Shep-herd.

  46. At 06:31 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Shepherd told to get the flock out of here.

  47. At 06:33 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Pix6, Vienna wrote:

    Shepherd and not seen

  48. At 06:34 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Helene Parry wrote:

    Really Useless company

  49. At 06:54 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Rod Mitchell wrote:

    "... were you looking at our bums? You cheeky monkey!"

  50. At 07:14 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Steve Hickman wrote:

    The Lloyd says bye Shepherd

  51. At 07:16 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Helene Parry wrote:

    No-confidence in me

  52. At 07:17 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Stig wrote:

    Not von Clapp..

  53. At 07:29 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Candace wrote:

    So wrong, farewell

  54. At 07:32 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Stig wrote:

    Ven von Trapp door openz, another..

  55. At 07:32 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Candace wrote:

    No clap, Trapp

  56. At 07:42 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Candace wrote:

    Panned ordinary couple

  57. At 07:49 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Candace wrote:

    Bloomin' groan forever

  58. At 07:55 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Candace wrote:

    Captain's outrageous

  59. At 07:58 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Stig wrote:

    Trapp doh!

  60. At 08:00 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Nick Jones wrote:

    Actor quits under mountain pressure.

  61. At 08:05 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Candace wrote:

    You look happy to seat me

  62. At 08:19 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Dave Taylor wrote:

    Captain Von't Rap

  63. At 08:39 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Nick Jones wrote:

    Show hit by Shepherd's 'bye'.

  64. At 10:34 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Candace wrote:

    Shepherd given the crook

  65. At 10:57 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Brian Saxby wrote:

    Dole, my dear? The lead male, dear?

  66. At 11:53 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Clive Burdall wrote:

    Shepherd Springs the Maria-ge Trapp

  67. At 11:54 PM on 07 Nov 2006, Dickie wrote:

    Punorama:

    "The Ill's are alive, by Jove, with the Sound of Moosic...."

  68. At 01:23 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Murray Milne wrote:

    fell through the trap door

  69. At 04:06 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Maggie Dostal wrote:

    Tinkerbelle to the rescue -
    Lloyd-Webber smiles again.

  70. At 06:13 AM on 08 Nov 2006, sarah, trieste, italy wrote:

    Shepherd barred from stage.

  71. At 07:15 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    I've just left a girl called Maria.

  72. At 07:19 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Kip wrote:

    Mutton dressed as ham.

  73. At 07:22 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Idle prize.

  74. At 07:25 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Barren Von Trapp.

  75. At 07:58 AM on 08 Nov 2006, TIM McMahon wrote:


    1)How do you solve a problem like "a career'?
    2)"Some of my favourite 'stings'"
    3)Peak Practice fails to glow?
    4)A case of the Bombay Von Traps?

  76. At 08:22 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Steve Ferguson wrote:

    Clap von Trapp

  77. At 08:27 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Steve Ferguson wrote:

    High on a hill was a lonely Shepherd

  78. At 08:29 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Martin Payne wrote:

    Through the Trapp-door

  79. At 08:34 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Martin Payne wrote:

    Simple Simon leads Maria on merry dance

  80. At 08:38 AM on 08 Nov 2006, david regan wrote:

    Shepherd baa's out!

  81. At 08:46 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Chris Jones wrote:

    Shepherd's 'Bye

    Chris Jones
    Nottingham

  82. At 08:48 AM on 08 Nov 2006, PJ, West Yorks, thelbiq.co.uk wrote:

    "Trapp! - Door....."

  83. At 08:50 AM on 08 Nov 2006, PJ, West Yorks, thelbiq.co.uk wrote:

    Simon Shepherded off.

  84. At 08:52 AM on 08 Nov 2006, PJ, West Yorks, thelbiq.co.uk wrote:

    Shepherd freed from Trapp.

  85. At 08:55 AM on 08 Nov 2006, PJ, West Yorks, thelbiq.co.uk wrote:

    Shepherd freed from Trapp

  86. At 08:56 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Gareth Jones, Anglesey wrote:

    Unhappy Trappy

  87. At 08:57 AM on 08 Nov 2006, wrote:

    Von Trapp too many

  88. At 08:58 AM on 08 Nov 2006, PJ, West Yorks, thelbiq.co.uk wrote:

    Shepherd freed from Trapp

  89. At 08:59 AM on 08 Nov 2006, PJ, West Yorks, thelbiq.co.uk wrote:

    Simon Shepherded out.

  90. At 09:00 AM on 08 Nov 2006, wrote:

    Trapp's Last-minute Escape

    ExTrapp time

    Doh, oh dear


    Ahem. Sorry.

  91. At 09:04 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Gareth Jones, Anglesey wrote:

    Doctor OUT of the House

  92. At 09:15 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Ray Lashley wrote:

    I can hear Sir Lloyd Webber exclaiming, "D'oh, a Dearie".

  93. At 09:28 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Peter Forrester wrote:

    Problem solved.....it's simply Simon.

  94. At 09:30 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Darren McCormac wrote:

    Clap-Trapp!

  95. At 09:36 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Danny Burke wrote:

    the hills are deprived

  96. At 10:06 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Lee Pike wrote:

    Captain gone? Gap.

  97. At 10:06 AM on 08 Nov 2006, NickW wrote:

    Wooden Trapp doesn't catch Maria

  98. At 10:09 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Gareth Jones, Anglesey wrote:

    The Bills have arrived...
    ...with the sound of you sacked

  99. At 10:11 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Mark Wrighton wrote:

    Von Trapp sprung!

  100. At 10:14 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Mark Wrighton wrote:

    Show him the Von Trapp-door!

  101. At 10:18 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Lee Pike wrote:

    Do-Re-Mi, I'll-Ring-You.

  102. At 10:20 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Lee Pike wrote:

    Idolweiss

  103. At 10:24 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Mike wrote:

    Trapp-door

  104. At 10:27 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Lee Pike wrote:

    I am not keen, rather not be seen..

  105. At 10:32 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Mike wrote:

    Si on the bill was a lonely Shep-herd

  106. At 10:33 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Niall Nugent wrote:

    So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night, I hate to go before the opening night.


  107. At 10:36 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Mark in The Hague wrote:

    Musical targets clap-Trapp

  108. At 11:00 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Chris Whittle wrote:

    Goatherd blues sinks naval shepherd

  109. At 11:13 AM on 08 Nov 2006, wrote:

    He never stopped braying "Maria"

  110. At 11:15 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Tom Steuart-Feilding wrote:

    Shut your Trapp

    How do you solve a problem like a disagree-er?

    Idle-weiss

  111. At 11:17 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Shepherd can't scale the heights.

  112. At 11:19 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Gareth Jones, Anglesey wrote:

    She's Connie ...He's Gone-ee

  113. At 11:24 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Gareth Jones, Anglesey wrote:

    Goodbye Sam ...Hello some other

  114. At 11:25 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    The Captain can't clutch the mustered.

  115. At 11:30 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Danny Burke wrote:

    captain waveman

  116. At 11:42 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Wilf wrote:

    Sound of Silence is Simon

  117. At 11:43 AM on 08 Nov 2006, Wilf wrote:

    Sound of Silence

  118. At 12:01 PM on 08 Nov 2006, Lauren wrote:

    Punorama...

    Your career Mr Shepherd? It's behind you!

  119. At 12:05 PM on 08 Nov 2006, Gillian Eaton wrote:

    What a load of clap-trapp

  120. At 12:11 PM on 08 Nov 2006, Patrick Rudland wrote:

    The Sound Of Mutiny

  121. At 12:14 PM on 08 Nov 2006, Jules G wrote:

    Maria single again.

  122. At 12:15 PM on 08 Nov 2006, Jules G wrote:

    Captain Van Trappless

  123. At 12:18 PM on 08 Nov 2006, Dale Whitaker wrote:

    Von Trapp shown the door.

  124. At 12:21 PM on 08 Nov 2006, Jules G wrote:

    Captain Von Trappless

  125. At 12:37 PM on 08 Nov 2006, Catriona wrote:

    Yodel have to go

  126. At 12:38 PM on 08 Nov 2006, DR wrote:

    Simon Shep-not-herd

  127. At 12:44 PM on 08 Nov 2006, Charles, USA wrote:

    Shepherd: I feel like Trapp!

  128. At 12:48 PM on 08 Nov 2006, Anne wrote:

    While Shepherd watched, he flopped

  129. At 12:52 PM on 08 Nov 2006, Danny Burke wrote:

    NO SAY, BE FAR, SI FAUL-TY

  130. At 12:53 PM on 08 Nov 2006, Mark Esdale wrote:

    Shepherd plays Wise Man and quits show
    or
    What a load of old Trapp
    or
    Is their Nun better?

  131. At 01:07 PM on 08 Nov 2006, Tony T wrote:

    Doe Me Farce

  132. At 01:07 PM on 08 Nov 2006, Rupert wrote:

    Who's sitting on the Trapp door?

  133. At 01:13 PM on 08 Nov 2006, Phil, Cardiff wrote:

    Von Trapped In The Closet

  134. At 01:15 PM on 08 Nov 2006, Catherine O wrote:

    Shepherd's Bye

  135. At 01:18 PM on 08 Nov 2006, Tinky wrote:

    Shepherd asked to shut his Trapp.

  136. At 01:33 PM on 08 Nov 2006, Neil Franklin wrote:

    Lonely Shepherd seeks goatherd

  137. At 01:34 PM on 08 Nov 2006, Kip wrote:

    Shepherd's push.

This post is closed to new comments.

Jump to more content from this blog

About this blog

The Magazine's recommended daily allowance of news, culture and your letters.

Send us a letter

Your name

Your e-mail address

Town/city and country

Your comment

The ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ may edit your comments and not all e-mails will be published. Your comments may be published on any ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ media worldwide.
(Terms & Conditions)

News Feeds

Magazine Monitor

10 Things...

Caption Comp

Crunch Creep

Daily Mini-Quiz

Housekeeping

How to Say

Paper Monitor

Quote of the Day

Random Stat

Web Monitor

Your Letters

³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ iD

³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ navigation

³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ © 2014 The ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ is not responsible for the content of external sites. Read more.

This page is best viewed in an up-to-date web browser with style sheets (CSS) enabled. While you will be able to view the content of this page in your current browser, you will not be able to get the full visual experience. Please consider upgrading your browser software or enabling style sheets (CSS) if you are able to do so.