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Isn't getting a new job meant to be a cause for celebration? Champagne popping, balloons and stuff....but Gabe's 'promotion' in this week's episode must be one of the worst ever. We're not sure how much of a step up it is from dodgy laptops to running prostitutes, but we're thinking Gabe should be feeling pretty hard done by here. At least before the worst he could get was a complaint about the sound card. Oh Gabe, what's gone wrong? But he wants out, it's mean Ole Lenny that won't let him escape...even though Lenny feels Gabe owes him, was this really what he had in mind? Poor Gabe's at the end of his tether, living a life in the criminal underworld is definitely not all it's cracked up to be. So what's his bright idea? Going to the police! Put down the Kool Aid and wake up Gabe - this can never end well!

The only upside to this whole situation is that Sir Gabe, our Knight in a Shining BMW, seems to be rearing his head again. As cray-cray as this situation is, Gabe genuinely wants to help these girls - if he has to be in this horrible place, the least he can do is try and keep them safe. Nice idea but he's playing a dangerous game though, Shady Sean doesn't seem like the kind of guy that would take betrayal very well....And what's this little spark between our Gabe and Angie? Just relief that they've found an ally in each other, or perhaps something more? Gabe did rather seem to be belittling his boudoir talents in front of her though...that's no way to kick things off, is it Gabe?! Maybe she'll be won over by his lovely hair.

One person who isn't susceptible to Gabe's charms is Luscious Liz, who gave him a sizeable piece of her mind after his outburst at a terrified Malcolm. Good on ya, Liz! Not only defending your man but giving Gabe an ultimatum to sort himself out. If only it was that easy...

But now ladies and gents, we return to our coverage of the world's most inept pool tournament, held today at the Tall Ship, Shieldinch. Seriously guys, if a misspent youth gives you anything it's a basic talent for pool. What with Robbie missing shots all over the place and Tom deliberately messing up to impress, what kind of gamesmanship is this? What's wrong with some good old fashioned competition? In fact, we challenge them to a game of pool right now. We've already put a pound on the table - it's on!

But what's this? Tom's missed shot was all a ruse to get our Hayles into his clutches!
We wouldn't mind our favourite Geek Chic fella kissing us roughly outside the Ship. Lucky girl Hayley. He probably deserved that slap, but she certainly didn't mind partaking in round two later on, did she? Could this be the beginning of a beautiful new thing for Hayley? Awww, we hope so!

But while Robbie is off playing pool, his fiancé is chatting up Gabe at the bar. Ok, he's fishing for info, but 'How you doin'?' as an opening line Will?! That only ever works for Joey Tribbiani, and you know it.

Next week in Shieldinch - Quelle Surprise...Leyla's drunk again. How is the mini-market keeping up with her demand?!

Quote of the week:
Lenny: 'I've got your back'
Gabe: 'Then all I've got to worry about is my front'.

It was a case of secrets and lies this week in Shieldinch with everybody keeping something from somebody else.

And, if nothing else, we can say that we mostly have a bunch of smart cookies in our hood. Most people saw through the nonsense, the subterfuge, and the baloney. We had Molly seeing right through Robbie's worries and giving him the 'treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen' advice (plus preventing a buzz cut, well spotted). Tattie sniffed out the cheeky pack of crisps peeking out Bob's back pocket as well as the terrifically well-hidden ENTIRE BOX from earlier. And there was no pulling the wool over Gabriel's eyes when Leyla fell asleep *COUGH passed out * after a glass *COUGH bottle* of wine. Yeah, Leyla, we totally believe you.

We say mostly because there was one person who just seemed ever so curiously befuddled. Who seems not to have a scoobie what on earth's going on with the folk around him. Who you ask? Why, our very own Doctor Dan. Not notice anything unusual, did you? In Leyla's midden with her still in her PJs, doc? Robbie crying in the middle of the street and looking horrified when you mention the homophobic attack? Big Bob breaking into the crisp packet the minute you turned your back? Nothing at all to suggest that not everything was 100%? Come on, Doc! You're supposed to be our hero-surgeon type who sorts everybody out. You're supposed to have a sixth sense about these things. We believe in you!

However, joking aside, it seemed like the people who were most taken in, were lying to themselves. Oh Will and Robbie, we were over the moon when our lads got engaged this week! It was all so perfect until it all went so wrong. The boys may say that everything is all right but Will's violent streak is becoming trickier to ignore. Whatever Robbie said, he did not deserve to be smacked up against the wall and as much as Will might say 'it'll never happen again' it's a dangerous path to be going down. For now, it looks like the boys have made up but poor Robbie seemed more that a little concerned at the end of his engagement party. Here's hoping Will manages to control that temper of his and doesn't take it out of our Robbie again.

In other news, Leyla continues to drink the lala juice until she can block out everything and succeeded in nearly burning the house down. Thank goodness our dashing Mr Brodie was there to save the day. Anyone else all a-flutter when he kicked the door down in a manly fashion? However, in true Nicole style, the thanks he got was to be immediately kicked out without so much as a thank-you-cuppa. But this meant we did get treated to the wonderful sight of Stevie looking very confused at a power drill as he prepared to fix the front door. He did not seem confident, did he? Here's hoping that they can get the door fixed before next week. Come on, Leyla! We know things are tough and the kids are obnoxious (though they're kids so it's kind of their job) but you seem to be teetering on the edge there. Fingers crossed she lays off the binge drinking in bed, for her kids if nothing else.

Next week: Sean is giving Gabriel more marching orders, never a good sign, and Angie, our favourite no nonsense girl, is back. And do we see her chatting with Gabe?

Quote of the week:

Molly: (With horror) Whit are you doing wi' that?! I'm no wanting a baldy!

Now, don't get us wrong. Here at RC Towers we're peeking out from behind the sofa whenever Shady Sean pulls up in Shieldinch. But last night, we think we saw a flash of...well...humanity...in those otherwise emotionally-dead eyes. He is SO happy to have found a new bezzie in (wait for it!) GABES! Awww Gabes! The fact that he's got a little pet name for him already would be kinda cute if it wasn't Sean saying it. Bonding as they attempt to knock off some dodgy laptops, sharing a smile across the wheel of the van; they were only minutes away from becoming blood brothers before the polis rocked up and ruined the party...

...but wait? Who's behind this shock raid on the most conspicuous van in Shieldinch? Only our favourite gangster - LENNY ! Yes, Lenny is back on top and playing games at his best - he sure is determined to bring this Sean fella down - whilst keeping intact the most important moral guide for all gangsters, the Criminal Code. It's written down somewhere, but you can't see it. Oh no, it's only for the gangsters. And he's not even afraid to get Gabes (this nickname is totally sticking) involved in the arresting action - much to his chagrin. Never mind Lenny, give him some whisky, that'll help him forget all about those boggin' cells.

As for Will, the episode started well with another gratuitous shirtless shot of our fave DC. But we're not sure we're liking where he's going with this temper....we thought he was such a nice kindhearted boy? Now, it's one thing getting frustrated in the interview room (although silly and just a little unprofessional William). But taking your anger outside the police station and into the middle of Shieldinch? Will! It was the worst game of Cluedo ever as we all knew that it was Will, in the Pend, with his truncheon. You'd think he could have raided the evidence room for a mask at least. Have you learned nothing from all these dodgy crims you've been chasing in your gilet?

Can we just take some time out of this week's blog to discuss the cracking one liners DCI Donald is coming up with nowadays?! He's turning into a regular joke factory, though perhaps not intentionally. Coming to a shopping channel near you soon, a special DVD of his best moments, including such classics as:

• 'It's too early to talk about serial killers'. (it's never too early Donald, not in Shieldinch)
• 'Disneyland, where do you think?' (when asked where he's taking Gabes)
• 'Sometimes the bad guys get away' (only if you're a rubbish policeman!)

And our personal fave:

• The awkward moment where you wait for the excruciatingly-long-beep of the interview tape recorder. Ouch.

While Donald and Will were busy doing their best CSI Shieldinch impressions, the real effects of the Silvie's death were being visited on Poor Tattie. We're not sure how many times we've called Tattie that in the last few weeks but she's really going through the wringer this series. Poor Tattie. After a heart-wrenching moment in the morgue, she felt the wrath of Dan after Bob forgot to tell him where Tattie had gone. Thankfully Dan finally apologised, but Big Bob didn't. Oh no. He's feeling sorry for himself that he hasn't got Tattie's undivided attention. Anyone else worry that this love story is heading for the rocks? We don't want our Bob and Tattie to fight!

But let's end this blog on a happy note shall we? Has anyone else noticed the furtive (and actually, not very well hidden) looks between Hayles and Clark-Kent-Lookey-Likey Tom?! Here at RC Towers we're a BIG fan of the geek-chic, and our Tom has this in spades...we can see what Hayley might be finding interesting about this new man on the block! But with Iona clearly smitten, how's this going to work? Uh oh!

Next week, Robbie and Will are talking about being shacked up with 2.4 dogs (aaaaaawwwwwww!) and Gabe is the man to call when something maybe possibly might be on fire.

Quote of the week:

Very hard this week, there's been so many good ones. But after much deliberation it has to be...

Raymond: (so very very casual) What do you know about VAT?
Tom: .....Really?

Well folks, we'll tell you this now - if we are ever in trouble with anything, we want Molly and Tatiana O'Hara ring side. How amazing were those two this week? Sure, they were both pretty mean to poor wee Silvie to begin with. Molly was standing for no-nonsense at first and giving Silvie the no-nonsense eye to boot. While Tattie sang the tough love song and chuck her out on the street! But after the daring duo soon had taken Silvie under their wing, you knew tell they'd have fought to the death to help her out.

Tattie was particularly awesome this week doing her ER thing with Doctor Dan. Once Silvie had proved herself trustworthy, Tattie did everything she could (including getting into a domestic with Bob) to keep her safe and sound. Meanwhile, Molly was the one who kept the heid. Wow, that was one impressive poker face when Sean turned up at her doorstep and her giving Sean what for is definitely one of our highlights! Meanwhile, she knew exactly who to go to for getting things sorted - the Godfather of Shieldinch, Lenny. Her indignation when the grandfather of her great grandson wouldn't help her was another highlight as she flagged Will down in the street to scream at him that Lenny Murdoch had told her to go to the Polis!!!! You couldn't ask for two more determined people to help you out.

So it's all the more tragic that even they couldn't stop Shady Sean coming for his girl in the end! Especially looming over Silvie in the middle of the night! Eeek, that's going to give us nightmares for weeks to come. On a serious note, folks Silvie's story was pretty hard to hear but unfortunately not uncommon. Poor, poor Silvie. What a horrible thing to have gone through. And too many young and vulnerable people get drawn into her very dangerous world. Here's hoping that Silvie might manage to escape.

Across town, Will and Robbie's flat was looking fabulous as you would imagine. Although, quite a few people (Robbie, DCI Donald AND Bob) were very interested in Will's soft furnishings. Those must have been some seriously comfortable pillows. Poor Robbie, there he was trying to be nice and he ended up getting his head bitten off by DC Nasty! Come on Will, this is the side of you we've come to know and love. And we were loving Robbie's style, with his home mural and little wooden sailors. What's Will's problem? Still, it didn't stop Robbie being hostess with the mostest. Mai Tai anyone?!

Mind you, it seemed like all the young people were having trouble with their love lives this week! Hayley was getting depressed enough with online dating to give FHM-loving Mike a go...only to be knocked back. Oooh, ouch. And Iona was trying desperately to give snugly suited Tom the eye and trying to get Hayley to help her out. Hayley, in turn, epically failed at making Iona look good by nearly shoplifting some biscuits. Way to go Hayles. In fact, everyone was having a bad time of it apart, it seems, from Deek who has become a stud with a terrible dating strategy. Yes, Deek, absolutely go and date tons of women and tell them exactly how many women you're dating. Hands up if you think that will leave him with any second dates?

Coming up next week: What's this?! Do we see the dastardly DCI Donald making a deal with Lenny Murdoch?! And Tattie and Big Bob still haven't made up.

Quote of the week: Iona (never more grateful to see anyone in her life): Oh look, there's Deek!

Leyla and Nicole

We knew this episode was going to throw spanners at Shieldinch when Molly was so cheerful with the local postie. Something wicked this way comes.....

...much like this little spanner here. You might remember The One And Only Vikki Tennant abandoned us for rehab a little while back. Well, through the secret medium of Chinese Whispers she's finally been back in touch...I leave you in her hands...

Dear blog-fans, no, I haven't gone the way of my brother Cameron Tennant, I'm pleased to tell you that rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated. However, it's been a busy couple of months for me which is why I left the Blog in the capable hands of MAMY. After the horrors of the Shieldinch Sex Tape I had to take some time out but just as I got over the night terrors, Lenny Murdoch found out that I'd stolen some of his drug money. He gave me an ultimatum - get out of Shieldinch within 24hours or be forced to listen to Murray's fishing tales for 2 hours. Well, of course, I just had to go. Unfortunately, I now find myself indebted to a moustache twirling villain by the name of Brendan Brady in a sleepy little village called Hollyoaks... So, what I'm trying to say in my roundabout way is I won't be back L It's very exciting but I'm really sad to be leaving River City. I've had a great couple of years on the show and I'm really going to miss it. What will I do without Tattie as an outlet for all my potato puns?! Thank you to everyone who has followed the Blog, I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it! I hate half-baked goodbyes so all I'll say is... Vikki is 'scone' for now.

We'll miss her muchly. We're just grateful she hasn't gone the way of a certain Doctor's wife and started spending her nights downing wine and ordering random parcels (at least, we don't think so....). We know she's stressed from all that sneaking around with Sir Gabe, but seriously?! (Leyla that is, not Vicki, that rumour is completely unfounded).

So BIG drama in the Brodie household this week! And the day didn't even start well for them what with Nicole and Stevie having to play Mummy and Daddy to Adeeb and Conor. (Though Stevie playing Dad with the terrible twosome was very cute - awwww!) He even managed to cut Nicole down to size with some home truths. Wow, that's a miracle worker and a half.

Meanwhile, Leyla's been sleeping soundly (i.e. drunkenly) with the contents of an off licence stashed under her bed. Not only is it the least obvious place EVER to hide your booze, we at RC Towers imagine its probably not the easiest place to get to with all those shoes, dresses, spa brochures arriving through the postbox. She's got to stash those somewhere!

And weirdly, Zinnie's conscience seems to be rearing its head again. Wait is she....human after all?! Poor Zinnie - she's no angel but getting the blame for Leyla's drunken escapades isn't fair! We almost (almost) feel sorry for her. Perhaps...she shouldn't have so blatantly accused Leyla of being a raging alcoholic in the street but she'll learn! She certainly didn't convince Nicole...until the Young Ms Brodie went sneaking in Leyla's bedroom. What's she hoping to find? Uncle Gabe hiding under the bed? Like father like daughter! It's that kind of paranoid behaviour that is getting her Dad so riled in the nick. That was a heck of a talking to from Michael. No wonder Leyla was getting ready to tank the booze and let rip at Stevie. Who's taken my incredibly well-hidden stash of booze?!! We quite fancy our chances against Leyla in a game of hide and seek.

But our Poor Stevie - he blames himself for everything. Cammy, his murder, rubbish roast potatoes and...he's lost it, oh god, he's lost it! But he really was having to do everything around the house and talking to his mother-in-law about her drinking habits really was the last straw. After their incredibly awkward chat about her sex life as well. No wonder he finally let rip at Nicole when she demanded he make roast tatties as well. So a bit of harsh reality for Our Nic. And what did she learn from all this? Give the alkie more wine! Smooth move. We can see that ending well.

This week is just one surprise after another for RC Towers. Just when we thought the Evil Dr M couldn't come back from her mean treatment of Big Bob, she just redeems herself with a few kind words to Stella. We'd forgotten just how much life has turned around for Stella, so no wonder she's worried that she's messed up her future. But she seems to found an ally in Dr M. Lets hope everything falls into place for the arrival of a wee Wee Bob!

Ahhh Deek. Now we know you haven't been the luckiest in love, so living under the same roof as Shieldinch's greatest love affair can't be easy. But trying to quash their love with...paperwork?! Dearest Derek, step away from the stapler and realise this one isn't another flash in the pan. Our Robster's in love. Also, Will is like double your height and a hunky policeman. You were never going to win in that fight!

Next week: Tatiana is back trying to save poor souls when Silvie rocks back up in Shieldinch. But is that Shady Sean hot on her tail?

Quote of the week:
Stevie: Nicole, I don't think I can do this!
Nicole: Sure you can. You just add oil or something.