³ÉÈËÂÛ̳

Yeah a story I found whilst brousing the web at school. Some one placed a fake sign, promoting a "Official Dogging Site" Here's the link it's on the ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ news page.

Enjoy

³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ south today "a man ran over the traffic warden who had jsut immobilized his car"

how does that work???

it was on south today weds 5th may at 6.30pm

Last nights show was amazing! Congrats on finishing the series, Russ did seem like he just wanted to get to the pub by the end of it all...
Also thanks to all the team for being amazing and helping me out with being on crutches and all! Looking forward to seeing it all sparkly and editted tomorrow night! (By editted i mean you taking out some of the most FUNNY things i've heard Russ say, but those pesky rules means they can't be said on the telly box...)

Hi

Please tell me there will be another series!! lots of people (including me) will be devastated if its finished!

i saw this on sky news but i dont know if the link works:



Essentially a teenager has escaped a ban on wearing his trousers so low that his underpants are visible - because of the Human Rights Act.

Hope you enjoy x

cha xx

i found this and thought it was hilarious!!!
i think russell was wrong, THIS is the strangest book title XD
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Hi Russell,
My friend and I were just wondering what your facorate animal at the zoo is?
Ours are the penguins and monkys.
love the show,
Lots of love,
Katie and Sam

Hey Russell ;-)

Heres mah question...
If you could swap lives with anyone for a day who would it be??
Thanks ;-)
And could you do a shoutout to Roflparty??? ^o^ Me and mah friend are spoofing the election :D I would be thankful :)

Thanks again ;-)

WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Thanks for using my story, my brother's now seriously jealous. :D

And it is a good name thank you. ;)

x

i found this on yahoo news home page

a little boy in china fell out of a window and his ears saved him which his head was in the bars!

I came across this on the Telegraph website

Brown may be pushing it a bit too far...

Just want to say a MASSAVE thanx to all the good news team. You've done an awsome job, and its hard to watch your show with out laughing so hard its hard to breath!!!! Could you keep us updated when next seires is and where to get tickets as would do anything to see good news live!!

Again big thanx
Emz xx

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RUSSELL! PLEASE DONT TELL ME THIS WEEK IS YOUR LAST SHOW :( Your show is the only thing that makes Thursday nights interesting! If there's no series 3 Im gonna hunt you down like a rabbit dog you hear me? :-)

I found this before its a youtube link of the elcetion

I loved the Daily Mail song on last night's programme! So funny. Also the cat with its mouth open...I've been looking on YouTube to find it!

Hey Russel, Second time of posting something in my hopes of making it on the show.

I think this is funnier than the other i sent it, [Unsuitable/Broken URL removed by Moderator]also

Please don't let this be the last show ;(
Every thursday i watch you and your probably the only comedian that makes me laugh my guts out.

If you cannot post this on the show, I hope you mention me in the blog.

Thanks Russ!
- Callum

Hi, I just "found" a topical picture you might like ;)



Danke
Nick

No wonder the election has been such a shambles. Some people got a little too distracted! x

plz watch this clip, see what you think about fear and fashion run in westminster,
x

russel you will like this one you know the man which would not go away in the news interview with sky news it i remember correctely ,(my memory is bad so i cant remember what episode it was but it was season 1). he had a sainsburys bag with him. well hes back it was on the bbc news on saturday 08th of may at 4:30 to 5:00. i think you should take the mike out of him again would be so funny and i have another one. another intreview took place in witney only 2 mins down the road from where i live (hailey to be exact)hes the clip

this really made me laugh when I saw this.
As a result to the General Election, Mr Long Legged Cleggy Weggy is having to chose between Labour or The Conservatives. Some bright chap fidgured out a better way for this to be decided and put Nick Clegg on Ebay! see for yourself!

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Jennifer Stweart: 3D Film Got Me Pregnant

The wife of a US Army soldier, Jennifer Stweart, claims she got pregnant by watching a 3D adult film while visiting friends in New York.
38-year-old Jennifer Stweart used the bizarre claims to explain to her husband why their child was black, despite the lovers being very much white skinned.
Jennifer Stweart said her child looks just like a black actor in the adult movie she claims to have watched in 3D with her east coast pals

i think its time for some more cute animals, check this little guy out!

u r funny i peed my underwere no joke after watching good news plz plz plz could u do a it on peckham terminator he is on youtube you could make it even moor funny then it is

Ithink ive got a good story dont know how it can be funny but to sisters one 15 the other 18havwe got a hobbie that is so horrible they have got a room to prov it they both hunt down rare and wild animals and kill them then they stuff them... They're dad has " Proudly" stuffed a polar bear on his hunting trip to the artic i hope you use this story ... Dee Dee is out! PEACE!

hi, i reccently split up with my girlfriend and i really really love her. so i was wondering if you could turn bad news into good news and portray my feelings for her. it may be desperate but i need her. her name is jessica allen and she is the most wonderful human being in the world. please help!

Good news story possibly.



It's been around for a few years now but never seen it on mainstream TV

The major of the capital of Iceland, is famous Icelandic comedian Jon Gnarr, who started a political party know as the best party, as a joke and then won. He needed a coalition but refused to accept any party who's members hadn't seen every episode of T.V. show, "the wire". He then appeared at the Icelandic gay pride parade in drag saying that the major could not be with them. Here are a few videos and links about it:


/news/world-europe-10896818

After this he starred in a film called Mr. Bjarnfredarsson:

Hi I have a good news story which has not been in the media

I have just taken two groups of teenagers sailing for a week they have gained their competant crew certificate, learnt to sail, cook clean, did not play video games or watch telly for a week and they had an amazing time. We hired two ships from the cirdan sailing trust while a colleague of ours also hired a ship from the Tall ships trust for yet another group and between us we made October half term a time to remember for a great bunch of young people.

Pauline Wagon
[Personal details removed by Moderator]

awesome for the show

This should be used as a good news story...

Try having a butchers at these idiots, its not exactly news, but it may make you laugh www.forthedvd.co.uk I have the misfortune of knowing some of these idiots personally. Enjoy the giggle :)

Here in the suburb of Horsforth got a newspaper through the door saying that councillors were overjoyed at the prospect of having a boulder returned from nearby Kirkstal after forty years! Never said why they had the boulder in the first place, just have to remind myself never to lend Kirkstal anything!

Hey Russ :)
Me and my best friend Reece are your biggest fans. I saw you on Live at the Appollo a couple of years ago and loved it! Good News is amazing, i was sad when the first series ended, but now there has been 3 series!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP It's the only thing that makes Thursdays worth the crapness of school!! Soooooooooooo anyways someone sent me a link to this in an email. Its vare funny :P


An indoneisanboy had sex with a cow after claiming the cow seduced him!!!

LOTS OF LOVEEEE Chloe Hewittt (and Reece Kuby) xxx

Helloo Again!
You should totally have this girl on your show. She's the first English Female to ever win a medal at weightlifting, in the commonwelth games. She lifted 106kg and won Britain a bronze medal.
AND SHE IS ONLY 16 YEARS OLD!!!!!!! :D


Thank Yaw!!

Hi, I've got an inspirational good new story...

Child's i Foundation is a transitional children's home in Kampala, Uganda. It was the brainchild of Lucy Buck. Once a successful television producer who gave her life up to help babies and families in need.

Joey was the first success story from Child's i.
Joey was abandoned in a public taxi park when he was just four weeks old. Before the Baby Abandonment Project, Joey would doubtless have spent his life in an institution. Instead, after just six weeks, Desire and George, a wonderful Ugandan couple, adopted him. After his terrible start, he was finally cherished by a loving family and had a wonderful future ahead of him.

Then disaster struck. They found out that Joey was suffering from critical stenosis of his pulmonary artery – and it was only a matter of time before he would suffer cardiac failure. Joey was already a true miracle baby – it was found that since his birth, Joey’s heart has been relying solely on the temporary structures that are necessary for babies in the womb. These should have closed up within days of his birth, but they somehow remained open, and were currently the only things keeping him alive.

An appeal was launched on Just Giving, in hope of going some way to raising the £10,000 needed to send Joey for life-saving care. Then another miracle happened – the Child's i Foundation network raised the entire amount in just 38 hours.

Thanks to the supporters of Child's i Foundation and the generous network of people behind it, Joey was sent off to South Africa for life-saving surgery. His heart operation went really well, and he is now back home and gurgling away to his heart’s content.

Here is a link to the website -

I have an inspirational story to recomend for the next show my parents fostered me since i was about 2 months old and since i have been with my adoptive parnts theyhave been there through thick and thin i have so much to thank them for

"CLEVER KILLER":
³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ Look East news - Friday, 05.NOV.10 - live bulletin after 10pm news - blond newsreader definitely says about a man being found hanging before he killed someone???

I have a good news story -

its brilliant ane very heart warming!

I love the show!

Hey, check this out.



This little girl is now 3 years old and happy, healthy and lively. Worth a spot on the show, don't you think.

Omg russel
You should do this as your good news story.
I found it on youtube it would really make a diffrence to this girl.
As soon as possable because shes got 3 weeks to live.
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Story about a teenager in Austria who 'burns his bum' because of a Halloween prank that went wrong. Even funnier, underneath the photo, the caption reads: 'NOT IDEAL for fie-based Halloween pranks.' Suggesting people actually didn't know this!

check out kenny easterday a guy with half a body. he walks on his hands or on his skate board.

Hiya, got a suggestion for your heartwarming story bit at the end.

My friend, Ben, was riding his bike last week when he lost control, hot a wall and fell the 20ft drop the other side. He ended up in sedated in hospital with head injuries and a broken spine. He has his operation today and they're looking to wake him up tomorrow.

His family and friends created a Facebook page for him called Get Well Soon Ben Foulds, and I think it's lovely to see the amount of support he and his family are receiving.

Just a suggestion :)

Hi! I love the happy stories at the end of the show. You may have already seen this, but it's still amazing! A video of one dog rescuing another.

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Another classic: Monkey babysitter



Enjoy! Thanks :)

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the storey about a man who burnt 70% of his body and being in a coma for 3 months and coming out looking really differant his wife kids and rest of the family stayed with him... i dont know the link but you can find the video on a news website :) its should be on because its inspreational

/news/world-us-canada-11747293

Mountain lion treed by jack russell... what a fail..!

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hey russell just wanted to say hi thats quite literarly the reason i signed up cos im ur biggest fan havent missed a show, HI

hey russell heres a funny clip for ya its my friends son trying to break the record for most pringles ate at one time, fail

I found a story in the daily mail called "the lunchbox police who snoop on pupils" as the title and also says "OFSTEAD inspectors are snooping in cildrens lunchboxes and marking down if the find crisps and chocolate" i dont know what a ofstead inspector is and thought it was pretty funny

Cheryl Cole farts live on X Factor

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Hello Russell... think you might like this...

During the elections of this year, I was in a media class and we were given a task to make an obviously fake documentary, we chose paranormal activities. We didn’t realise that the ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ were interviewing the Guildford MP’s at the college, so by accident, we kind of interrupted/ruined their filming and it ended up on the news…. Basically what happened was, one student was pretending to be an alien doing this by waving his arms around as if the were tentacles chasing another student who bless him, was rather chubby, and they managed to do this all in the background of one of the MPs being interviewed. The head of the college told off my tutor at the time. Something along the lines of ‘your beeping students were on the news last night!!’

It was great fun to film it and we couldnt stop laughing, when we found out it had been in the background of an interviewing we loved it even more, gutted though cause we didnt get to see it on the news. I think you would find the video funny and was just wondering if you could find this clip with your powers of finding brillantness. please find it. ^_^
x x x

Ive got a funny news story, an american man was shot twice while buying a sandwich, and returned home and ate the sandwich before going to hospital



There is also news that this incident has led to other 'deli related violence in the city

I have the BEST Good News story. Completely right for the show.

Last week, I picked up a copy of the Metro, which is a free paper in Nottingham. It always has the usual stuff in, but then it had this story in. I went on the internet to find the details.

Headline: CRICKET EARNS THE LARGEST TESTICLE TITLE



I hope you all enjoy!

you will so enjoy this Russell

I got shown this at the end of my Carpentry lesson...Had nothing to do with carpentry what so ever!!
Its about cutting down your carbon footprints and what not. Please check this out its unbelievably funny!!

Russell's whole team U NEED TO KNOW CHERL COLE FARTs ON LIVE TV, ON THIS SATURDAYS SHOW !!! .... WHEN SHE IS TALKING TO CHER AFTER HER PERFOMANCE SHE PAUSES MAKES A STRANED FACE U HEAR THE F#RT THEN SHE CARRYS ON .... I NO U WILL LAUGH ITS SO GOOD I DESERVE A OSCAR LOL .... TAKE A LOOK ... AT 5.10 to 5.20

I was just wandering if you would say on your fab show about a degree dance performance, based on the story of a woman who gets diagnosed with breast cancer, that my friends and i are doing to raise money for the breast cancer charity at st.helens college.

thanks from lu, tan and loz
x

Hey Russ I was wondering if you could review this hilarious story i found whilst browsing the internet of a ninja parade in America

I hope you find it as funny as me and friends did

Amazing show
Tom

Modesto, CA residents turned out for the city's annual Ninja Parade, where no ninjas were seen for the 30th year in a row. More coverage at:
Hope you enjoy and hope you review it
Love your show best comedy show on telly at the moment
Tom

hey russel i found the most bizzare luxury chocolates please take a look and comment, possibly show them on your show. thanks.

hey i was on holiday in london and went shopping in tesco. i was standing next to you in the q, i got all excited and couldn't stop smiling, i think you noticed i saw you and started staring at your phone. my aunty standing next to me didn't notice you and thought you were a strange man taking my picture on your phone or something so she asked if i was ok. once you left i told her you are a famous comedian and she laughed at how i reacted. love you show!
love hannah xxx

this is the link to a baby girl was born 3 months early she is called olivia she is a miracle she was born with bad lungs and a bad heart and was given 25 percent of survival...mum joanne is now pregant with her 2nd baby who has to be born 4 months early by c section becouse of the mothers heart and 2nd baby is been given the same percenge of survival... here is the link to olivia from when she was born to now...

hey guys
don't know if i'm too late with this
really hope not
but this should be a 'not all doom and gloom'

the first video has had over 8000 views and is truly special!
x TOM x

This is a link to my uncles website. Cyclists fighting cancer, he himself has experienced cancer twice and beaten then after these ordeals has completed the tour d France and many other tests of strength to raise funds to make specially adapted bike for children suffering with cancer and other diseases. My uncles name is Mike Grisenthwaite and I thought this would be really suitable for its not all doom and gloom thanks. His story can be found on the videos and the photos of the children enjoying themselves sometimes for the first time of their lives will warm anyones heart.

A man called Matt Harding left a life of boredom and mundanity in America to see just how beautiful the world is. He didn't want to be one of the huge proportion of Americans who never saw the world outside the USA. During his travels he discovered that, although there were language barriers, he could connect with the amazing people he met by dancing. What started as a jokey jig for the camera became a trademark for Matt, and all over the world people joined him. In a very simple and heartwarming way, he has connected the world in our very human desire to have fun. There are several videos of his movies and every one of them is beautiful. He has been to some of the most awe inspiring places on earth. This is a link to his youtube page, which contains his series of videos, called 'Where the hell is Matt?' Any one of them can bring a tear to the eye! I really think one would be a perfect end to one of the shows this series

Oops! This is the Where The Hell Is Matt link!

Hey Russell :)
It's jade from southend.
My mum was recently on the news and on the radio for being 1 of 4 women to become a chimney sweep :) she was in the Dailey star, the echo and ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ London radio. She didn't want me to write this but she has had such a hard time in the past that he deserves it. My mums (Tracey lynch) is a super nice mum and has an amazing cv. My mum was also the 1st women wing walker to participate in the airshow. She then gave up trying to find a normal job and came to raise we three children me and my brothers who are twins :0 lol. She has signed on and hated it, going collect money every two weeks. She read an article about a similar woman who done this and it inspired her. Now she is a qualified chimney sweep and she is just startin out.
I am soo proud of her and I love her to pieces. Well done mum!! X

Monkey steals a cat i think its Monk Cat

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Abingdon Royal Cake throwing in doubt!

My friend showed me this story. It's about how Spain is encouraging people to vote, as it causes 'pleasure'. The advert shows a woman having an orgasm as she votes. Pretty weird, but worth a laugh. /news/world-europe-11795407

More ji sung park songs:
(green bottles nursery rhyme)
5 alsations walking down the street
5 alsations walking down the street
and if ji sung park fancys one to eat
there'll be 4 alsations walking down the street

chant:
he shoots
he scores
he eats your labradores
ji sung park ji sung park

Good news feature - 94 year old Hungarian Grandmother in France helped out of her depression by her grandson with a photo shoot.

Synopsis with photos:

Original website:

Good News Feature-
About a man with no arms or legs who trys to make people apprecitate life more. Hope you like, would be perfect for show.

Found an even better link to previous-

Saw this on truelad.com (I know I'm a girl but it's awesome so I don't care) and I thought I had to share it on here.- 'My flat mate is a top guy despite working a dead end job and always struggling for money, he puts his all into everything he does and is the most honest person I know. One day he receives a letter saying he has inherited £1.5 million from his late father. Without fluttering an eyelid he picks up the phone and donates it all to NSPCC. He later informs us that his old man used to beat him and his younger sisters, and he can go f (sic) himself and his filthy money. MoralchildsavingRobinHoodLAD' xxx

This dog gives me hope......I only wish I could be that excited about something so simple.

A bomb went off in gartocharn why would you what to bomb there? LOL, R.I.P to the tree that was blown up

link to one of the articles. -

Would a good news story about mental illness be of interest to you Russell? I don't really like blowing my own bassoon, but here goes.

In brief, I've survived five break-downs, the first being a suicide attempt, and in 1995 I was diagnosed with a type II bipolar disorder. I lost everything I had to my illness, including my home.

However, my life change after I joined a user-run editorial team in Hornsey. I was encouraged to write my first book, and in 2007 it was pubished. I've remained 'well' for the last eight years in a row, and it's all due to picking up the pen. Ironically, now I am writing observational comedy, as it's where my writing strength has always been. (Please see the blog on my website) My hope is to reduce the stigma that's still attached to mental health issues, by employing cutting edge humour.

I'll leave my website link and perhaps, if you have time, you can contact me. www.bipolar-expedition.co.uk

With kind regards, Neil Walton

Paralyzed graffiti artist gets eye tracking camera to keep creating.

dan

hay just thought i'd give you an idea for your good news section.
I'm part of a group known as MBEET (Moston Brook Environmental Events Team) we organise events to hopefully educate people in different things to do with the environment, it's a group of volunteers working together to organise events every month. I think it's good that we do this and think that it's worth a mention :) Cheers

heres a story for u Russell

Pope's condom comments welcomed by campaign groups

The Vatican has long opposed the use of condoms as a form of contraception

heres what he said
'Condoms OK in some cases" pope

Dove has mad an video to promote beauty, its goes through the process of how they make an average looking women into a model within minutes (sped forwards).



If your looking for something with a bit more humour though, you might want to watch this video below instead. Dove has made a parody of the previous video link I've posted, but they use a guy model and turn him into a slob, haha. Basically it's in reverse order :)

Not exactly news but I challenge you to watch it without laughing.

Here is a very good story for the feel good ones you do at the end very touching here is the link :)



the video is called Dog With No Eyes Learns Echolocation! enjoy please pick it would mean alot thanks :)

Found this very funny but childish video on you tube. Poor cat!

Hey Russ,

Who needs stories when you can read through some of the posts. What is your facorite animal? Fantastic. I get that C is next to V but it still made me laugh. Just got sent this story about a dog that saves another dog that got hit on the freeway (or motorway as you guys call it). Check it out:

Does this look like Russell or what????...

Theres a lady I work with called Chistine Guntrip, She was on This Morning as she is a Michael Jackson Impersonator. I found her link on youtube and thought maybe other people would find it as funny/gringing as everybody I work with does.
Here it is

Add this to the shocked animals!



LOVE IT

Most people on a gap year are content with just seeing the world. And not to try and change it. But on her return, Maggie decided to start a home in Nepal with the aim to sustain and improve the quality of life for children of Nepal. Her next big goal is to to build a school for the children.

She has since started her foundation called BlinkNow Foundation to share her ideas with other young people. Maggie won The prestigious Do Something award in America for all that she has done so far.

I believe this woman is a true inspiration. Not only for what she has been through herself and coming out of it as a kind human being. But for what she has been able to achieve and how she is now trying to help others so they don't go through what she did.