-
Made for walking?
So after three weeks of being on the road, the prodigal sons have finally returned from their televised odyssey across the land of Amerikey. It was good to see the guys again and hear their tales from being on the road. The first person I saw was Matt, who came in with a relaxed look on his face. We spoke for a while about how the U.S. differs from here and how sometimes the British accent is completely misunderstood over there. With the pound being strong, I casually asked the question, "Did you get much shopping done?". The mood suddenly changed, and with a heavy sigh Matt just leaned towards me and whispered, "Gee, I think that I should warn you.....Russell's got a new pair of boots".
Now like the rest of you I had already heard about this intriguing purchase, Russell and Matt had decided to dress up like cowboys for their little adventure in order to really get into the role of drifting through the States. The hats and the boots were a nice touch and will look great on the TV documentary, but I had assumed that the novelty of being a cowboy had by now worn off with their return to England. Enter Sherriff Russell, whooping and a hollering, filled with the vigour of holiday spirit and eager to show off his latest acquisition!
Everyone he met was bombarded with the same enthusiastic greeting, from the guys on reception all the way to our studio guests Courtney Love and Paul McKenna. It appeared that none could escape the inescapable question: "Hey guys, what do you think of my rootin', tootin', six-gun shootin', no disputin' cowboy boots??".........Hmmm, black cowboy boots with a white skull & crossbones and the number 13 etched onto the toe-cap and the heel, all enclosed within a pair of bat's wings?....you never know, they could catch on!
(call GQ!)
Flying High
Good evening, this is your Captain Gee speaking,
Welcome aboard Morgan Airlines flight RB16,
We'll be cruising at a high altitude through territories unknown,
Discovering Courtney's secrets and Avon treats beyond the phone,
If you glance by the window seat to your left,
You'll see Matthew struggle to juggle both the buttons and bite the belt,
Whereas by the seat to your right, Russell "takes a walk" up the aisle,
To request an in-flight movie, could it be?... (Yep!)..it's "Girl's Gone Wild",
Hostesses will move throughout the plane to display our selection of Duty Free,
But we sold out of toy "monkeys-in-bras" once we passed Paul McKenna's seat,
Standby for landing, everybody hold onto somebody tight,
I hope that you enjoy Captain Daniel Johnston,
......'Cos he's your pilot on the return flight!
-
Git ya motor running
Ahhh... the infamous cross-country road trip! Two unique individuals brought together for a mission, with a full tank of petrol and the wide stretch of unknown territory lying before them. Intoxicated with a feeling of adventure and exhilarated with a sense of discovery, forward is the only valid destination, existance is the only necessary explanation. For who knows what lies beyond?
Think "Thelma and Louise" (with added hairspray), "The Blues Brothers" (blasting Morrissey) or even "Dastardley and Muttley (with slightly more bickering!). Yes, being couped up in a car for hours on end can certainly produce some strange scenarios and Russell and Matt do form the archetypal "Odd Couple".
Since the last show, I now have this mental image of Matt constantly stuck behind the steering wheel, trying to maintain his stoical resolve as he has to concentrate and negotiate the road ahead. Meanwhile Russell is intermittently waking up, fidgeting, changing the music and adjusting the air conditioning, before dropping off to sleep again!
"Are we there yet?"
"Are we there yet?"
"Are we there yet?"
"Are we there yet?"
"Zzzzzzzzzzz......" (for two hours)
*Hiccup....yawn.....stretch.....sigh!*
"Matt?.....I'm hungry"
It's enough to make you flip your Snuffleupagus! Anyway, the boys will soon be back in town for the next show so I better start cleaning up around here!
The Open Road
On the open road amid empty spaces, far reaching and wide.
Facing mile after mile, after mile, after mile,
Time has been reduced to endless lights and street signs:
"Cowboy Town" to the right,
"Sesame Street" to the left,
Where Snuffleupagus gets a rush from the dust from etch-a-sketch!
Let's play "Spot the Tourists" at the door of the club,
With Cowboy hats and skull-boots ready to give a snaggletooth love,
Remember: "Bigger Diggers Dig Deeper"
And Mick's got a fleet that...he'll allow Russell to drive?
(hah!)...Standby the Grim Reaper!
On the open road, tarmac's dusty and gritty,
Passing city after city, after city, after city,
A hillbilly's sight's blinded by the dazzling belt of delights,
There's no stopping this "Tit Delivery", unless a handbrake's firmly applied!
-
Much ado about nothing
The Dynamic Duo were beamed live and direct from across the pond this week, playing the charming roles of "little aliens" in New York. I love NYC, I was there a short while ago and it's just got this vibrant energy and sense of excitement that is totally unique to anywhere else. Also the fact that a million and one movies/TV shows are filmed there, means that you can get this eerie sense of deja-vu everytime you turn a street corner and find yourself recognising the different surroundings. Yes indeed, New York can be a very interesting place.
The show started late because of the extended broadcast of the Proms hosted by Mr "Radio Maestro" himself, Terry Wogan (whose studios we "borrow" every week). I was sitting in these self same studios late on Saturday night, waiting for the switchover to occur. As I listened to the sounds of "Jerusalem" being played across the airwaves, I started to get flashbacks of embarrasing school assemblies and me there stuggling to sing with the adolescent combination of a broken voice and terrible acne. Back then my music teacher used to emphasise to us that "As long as we (the class) started off anything with a passion, we could always build upon that."
Russell & Matt are over in the U.S. to shoot a documentary that celebrates the work of the famed 50's beat poet Jack Kerouac and embark on a soul-searching journey across the States.This made it all the more funny for me when they enrolled in some creative writing classes in Manhattan and Russell got into an altercation with the poetry teacher over the useage of the word "void". Apparently the teacher praised Matt and chastised Russell over their poetical efforts, such ingredients (as we all know) are the perfect recipe for a Brand Tantrum. Meanwhile Matt just nervously sat back, twiddled his thumbs and waited for the hurricane to pass.
The process of writing poetry is strange one, because it's a bit like emptying your mind onto a page and then never quite being sure as to how the listener takes it all in. I've been writing and performing poems for a few years now (I've even done a few shows in NYC) and I've faced all types of responses: ranging from the good to the bad, all the way to....."Gee you better duck!". See, with comedy the accepted signifyer of a positive reaction is a laugh, with music it's the head-nod of appreciation but with poetry the pay-off is not always so obvious. The fact that a little poem evoked such a full-blown argument between Russell and his tutor, means that at least both sides were passionate about what constitues creativity and the writing of poetry. I'm sure that as my old music teacher can attest, a passionate response can always be built upon....... (but then again, come to think of it, he may have just been a pervert!).
A Void in the issue
The news has been spread,
Today has been left,
A start has been made,
It's the beginning of a quest,
New York City is the place,
The hotel's a disgrace,
A tiny room, a ransacked tomb,
and the guilty two sporting a Bruno pug-face!
Who'd have thought that a little poem could cause such distress?
That a void could be destroyed with a carress of emptyness.
I suggest that lap-top mishaps contribute to the stress,
So take a leaf from Wogan's book: early to rise, early to rest!
-
Invasion of the Nobbly Snatchers....
So.... I'm up in the front seat of an ice cream van (aka the "Nobbly Bobbly") on the promenade in Blackpool, sitting there trying to construct a poem (as you do!). The recent illumination of the sea-front lights provided a stunning visual backdrop for the proceedings and there were a couple of hundred people all braving the wet and windy elements, awaiting for the show to begin.
And what a peculiar mix of a show that it was! We had Mr Gay UK requesting a 99...minus a little bit, Joey Blower (a local celebrity comedian), a wet T-shirt display from an enthusiastic lady (where ice cream was conveniently used instead of water). Mr Nibs was put into a trance by a stage hypnotist then mentally whisked away to Moominland and to top it all off, the Mayor of Blackpool arrived on a Honda Goldwing motorcycle complete with his bike helmet, a tangerine jacket (the official colour of Blackpool) and his "bling-tastic" gold mayoral regalia.
There was one brief point in the evening, when I glanced back to Matt (who was skillfully trying to operate his beloved "switches" lodged between a pile of CD's and a fridge freezer). We both looked at each other and shared the same befuddled thought: "How in the flying fuselage did we ever end up here!?!"
The answer of course goes back to about a year ago, when we were all young fresh and radio green over on 6music. In those heady days, our burgeoning podcast was hovering at about the number 10 mark in the charts. Russell promptly exclaimed that if we ever made it to number 1, then he would get into an ice cream van and give away free goodies. Everybody laughed, as none of us could even conceive that the podcast would ever become that popular, so when it eventually topped the charts we were all taken aback by suprise.
Obviously somebody out there must like our little choc-ice of poddy-podcast delights! This was made all the more evident by the huge outpouring of well wishes that we all received throughout the night. I met so many people who had trekked from all over the UK just to see how Russell would handle his Mr Whippy! Admittedly, it wasn't exactly bikini weather and sadly all we had to offer you lot were ice lollies and ice cream!
Thanks to everyone who turned up, survived the rain and made the night special, also to the R2 crew who made it all possible: Richard, Ian, Caroline, Joe and our producer Nick (who was rushed off his feet!). But especially, thanks to you all for lending us your ears and allowing a little Nobbly Bobbly to invade your iPods!
Next week it's Russell and Matt transmitting from the New York City, the Big Apple....come take a bite!
Archive
Recent Entries
Recent Comments
- biscuit76 on Losing Change
- Lucy-gets-it on Losing Change
- Bloofs on Losing Change
- djhworld on Losing Change
- biscuit76 on Losing Change
Russell's Photos
Clicking on any of these photos will take you to an external site.
Feeds
The 成人论坛 is not responsible for the content of external internet sites
