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When Matt Met Slash
It's quite a strange and unforgettable experience to finally meet up with one of your heroes, (you know) someone who you've long-admired from afar. I mean, what do you say? how will they react? what if you do something embarrassing? supposing you randomly shout out "Lulu!"... there are just so many questions and emotions running through your mind that always surround such an occasion.
All of us are fans of someone, in one form or the other. It may be a band whose songs you used to play every day or an actor whose performances captivate you. It may even be a comedian whose one-liners and routines you've memorized verbatim. Others may not understand it (or even try to), but there's always going to be a someone who has a profound influence on you, simply through the things that they do.
It's no secret that Russell is a huge Morrissey fan and I remember awhile back how giddy he got at the prospect of finally meeting him. Matt however has always favoured Guns & Roses and so it was interesting to see his reaction when I told him that Slash was coming into the studio for an interview. His eyes just lit up in amazement as he tried to remain calm, but you could easily see just how excited he was!
I suppose that it'll be the same for the Queen when she finally gets to meet Russell (her being our biggest fan and all that! :), let's hope that she doesn't get all starstruck and just randomly shout out "Lulu!".
One is amused
An experimental prose,
Just letting you know,
Like a "pin-pin" injection for those,
Who incidentally chose,
To join us each Saturday,
Urine extraction is the practice play,
As Russ and Matt chat away,
An Itchy-jumper can get you sacked today,
So actually, what's the cost of being fobbed off,
Reporters tossed off, doors locked off,
This is Randy Morgan calling Boshoff,
With a banana hoodie?.... the phone's blocked off!
Rock God, Slash fears an attack of the little imps,
While "Cockerel and Nash" demand less noise as they reach the actual brink,
Just stop and think, all this Royal Protocol is evidently confusing,
Apparently the Queen heard the Bowie-Slash phone call...
...and found it all extremely "amusing!"
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A Bicycle Built for Two
It's been a fair old busy time in the world of the big Brand Man. With the "Booky Wook" finally published and printed, life has now evolved into a lone bike ride consisting of constant publicity engagements and numerous book signings across the land. Up until now, I'd never been really aware of what it took, regarding the whole process of writing and releasing a book. I just naively assumed that it would be a slow-paced affair, a bit like J.R, Hartley when he wrote "Fly Fishing" in that old advert!
But no, releasing a book is much like a band releasing an album. I ended up DJing at the big "Booky Wook" book launch in central London, hundreds of people turned up and the press were everywhere. I've also attended a few of the book-signings since and it's been great to actually meet some of the listeners of the show. What strikes me it the way in which some of the "Brand-affiliated" colloquialisms have now become commonplace at such events. "You better watch out!", "Get Out of Tibet!" and even "Booky Wook!" seem to be chanted from the rooftops once we arrive.
Of course, not all acclaim is as well-intentioned and the awkward practice of "Celebrity Tandem Riding" that a few reporters like to indulge in, thus begins anew. I guess it's a bit like watching Beowolf in 3-D: that which is fantasy can appear as real, while that which is real can appear as fantastical. Unless of course your fantasy involves two wheels, a set of pedals and a bike frame, in which case: "You better watch out!".
This Saturday is a pre-record with Slash (ex-Guns & Roses member) dropping by.
The Truth?
If Truth be told,
Sometimes we put the truth on hold,
To enter this magical realm,
Which we can duly mould,
So could you be bold?
To bike-ride and loose control,
If a sports racer delivers your paper,
Surely a Penny Farthing is irrefutably gold!
Or Platinum, Witness the madness when,
A presenter and his co-host really don't know what's happening,
Captivated by the mirror, enraged by the mail,
Cajoling poor Jo'leen, singing builders are sent to jail,
So to get a hold of the truth,
What should we do?
The "Jellyfish Jesus" is coming,
We're ready...are you?
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Crossing the Streams
It was great to see Matt back behind the mic again, he came in looking all calm and rested with that "Hey, I've just been on holiday relaxing in tropical streams and may I say that the world is a beautiful place," look on his face.
I was actually grinning as his first call of duty was to try and restore some semblence of order by suggesting that we have more items on the show.
I guess that this was an attempt to introduce some sort of structure to the evening's proceedings.
Russell reacted as if he'd just been set some last-minute chemistry homework on the final day of school!
Still we soldiered on and poked fun at the subjects of celibacy, pornography and ridiculed stereotypes.In the midst of all these crossed streams of consciousness, Russell did eventually find the time introduce a few new items.
There was: "Matt's Interesting Facts", "Other things that Matt has noticed" and "Matt says 'Baby' a lot!"
If you have any more items that we can lumber on Matt, feel free to send them in and include a jingle if you can.
I've actually enjoyed listening to all the different jingles that you guys have sent in (keep 'em coming). Some of them were really innovative and professionally done, others were just raw and waaay "out there".... (those are the ones that I like!).
There'll be no show this week as we've got to make way for the Rememberance Day service broadcast on Saturday, but keep sending in those jingles and suggestions.
A Fistful of Fiddlesticks
Whoever would attempt to second guess this pair together,
A Crouching Swarmi mohair sweater,
A walnut head item expressor,
Let us not forget, this celebacy endeavour,
A pornography possessor, a ditch water digestor,
Apparently many a professor,
Denied themselves the simple pleasure,
Preferring to base their thoughts and lives...
...on either: the neither, nor, or never.
Fiddlesticks!
Beware an attack of the pin-pricks,
As Mayor Vader avoids the brown bed but still downloads a Tushy Kiss,
Has it come to this?
Discussing the bliss of an elephant's kiss?
Or trying to show "love" to everyone, with just a fist on a stick!
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