This Week's Beach
and, the 200th posting on the Blog. Enjoy...
Archives for November 2006
We've all done
this haven't we?
Under the smoking entry there has been
a spirited debate not only about smoking (thank you) but also the idea of a regular new Beach and what it should be called.
If you're new to our Blog, you should know that, as is often the case, its contributors decided on something and we followed - to The Beach - a beautiful place where wierd and wonderful things happen and conversation and activity ranges over the entire range of human capability, and sometimes beyond. Trouble is - the Beach can get so busy, it can sink under its own weight, spoiling everyone's enjoyment.
A new beach was created, but it too ultimately suffered. So I've decided - or rather the froggers decided - that we need a "This Week's Beach", started every Monday. That will happen. In fact, you know what? It will happen sooner than that for this week only. Because, just as recently we celebrated TEN THOUSAND comments to this Blog - I am about to pass the milestone of 200 posts. This, I think, is 197 or 198. In any case, I'll make number 200, the very first This Week's Beach, and then start a new one on Monday. Off to find an amusing sound clip for you...
And this just in
from Mr Jarvis, via his mobile phone and Jonnie...
The reindeer are here
...these snapped outside our office in the last hour by Tom.
This just in...
spoke to Chris and it's Reindeer. Stand by.
My only guide for this
is a sign language (of sorts) conversation with CBeebies' Chris Jarvis through the window a moment ago, but if I understood him correctly, there will be more farm animals outside our window soon.
Either that or he's having the most awful trouble with a medical condition.
Do you smoke?
Or did you stop with the help of Allen Carr? I ask because Mr Carr has died of lung cancer. His illness had been publicised. At the time of the diagnosis, Mr Carr said: "Since I stopped smoking more than 23 years ago I have been the happiest man in the world. I still feel the same way." We'll reflect on his death in some way in the programme tonight.
We're all getting excited about next Tuesday's photo thing. I'm a little anxious that I will forget to bring in my camera. Over the coming days on the show, we may have tips for you on how to take a good snap.
By the way, we get a lot of requests to hear Chris Patten saying "Burma". Always happy to help.
Blog Exclusive:
The big night for taking your photo of your world at 5pm is next Tuesday. More info on the show tonight.
I think we stole it, but
if this doesn't cheer us up, then we're already dead.
It's a bit depressing, I know
that this blog in recent days has become about the deaths of great broadcasters. Now Mr Freeman has passed. We knew he'd been ill for some time. A while back - in my BH days - we wanted to do a piece taking the wotsit out of all those list programmes: Top 100 this, Top 100 that. We thought we'd ask Fluff to record our top 100 numbers, from 1-100, which we would then countdown randomly - and pointlessly - during the show. He wasn't up to doing it, and frankly, he was the only one we wanted.
We're working on putting a piece together which will give us all a chance to listen to his voice again. Thanks to Piper by the way for the crazy yet though-provoking contribution on the apology post. Spooky.
Will try to post some amusing audio in a while to cheer us all up. But for most of the morning I'm working on what can only be described as a secret project. We're trying to lure Ant or Dec to the ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ in revenge for losing Michael Cigar.
World at One...the musical...
as promised. WATO on the road at one of the party conferences. As usual the WATO stand was in the public area, amid the conference stalls. Unexpectedly, one nearby started making some...noise, just as Nick was getting things underway...
Is there anything you'd like me to apologise for?
Please - not anything I've done or am in any way responsible for...but if you've been wronged by someone in some way, or there's been a problem in the past with a third party...let me know on the blog and I'll publicly apologise.
Sorry the comments link below has been broken...and for SO long. Let me start by apologising for that.
Coming soon to PM
a unique radio experiment. Involving photographs.
Every night at 5, we try to bring you a picture of the world.
Now we want a picture of YOUR world at five o'clock.
DON'T take a picture yet - we have a specific date in mind on which we want millions of cameras whirring on the stroke of 5pm. We'll tell you when! You'll be able to email them to us or send them in the post.
What's vital is that it's a picture of what YOU are normally looking at at 5pm. We don't want to see you (no offence) but your view of the world as we come on air. It can be drab, exciting, colourful or plain...as long as it's yours we're happy.
I too will be taking a photo on the day...of the beautiful people through the glass in the PM studio. I wonder what your view of the world is at 5pm? Don't tell me...wait to show me.
I have a small but growing
collection of audio clips of faintly amusing things that happen off air during recorded items - or on air to the horror of everyone. I've posted a few featuring me, and we had the faulty intro to Newsnight the other day. Thought I'd post one of Nick. It's a preamble to an interview he was about to record. We used to play it loudly in the office to annoy him. Next week, we'll post the opening of the World at One on the day the Beatles tried to drown Nick out.
Nick Clarke.
The controller of Radio 4, Mark Damazer, has issued this statement.
"It is with utter sadness that I have to tell you that Nick Clarke - a R4 giant - died last night .
We had hoped that he would pull through after his operation last year - but it was not to be .
There will be many tributes throughout the day. They will be merited. He was utterly outstanding in every way.
Barbara ( his wife ) has asked for no flowers.
The news will be announced at 13.00 on The World at One - as expressly wished by Barbara ."
Thoughts on our heroin debate?
Put 'em here!
I'm very very well known, you know.
Everyone knows who I am. Everyone.
Bullying
will feature on the programme tonight: it's National Anti-Bullying Week. There's website which might be of use to you, or someone you know.
The Press Association carries this report today, about a schoolboy who hung himself after being bullied.
"Paul Moran, 13, was found by his mother hanged by his Liverpool football scarf in his bedroom at the family home in Lytham St Annes, Lancashire. He was described as a bright, intelligent student at the 1,800 pupil Lytham St
Annes High School. But he had been picked on for two years, the inquest at Blackpool Coroner's Court was told.
His mother, Carole Bullock, said her son would take different routes back from school to avoid his tormentors, then arrive home in tears asking, "Why me?"
Anne Hind, coroner for Blackpool and Fylde coroner, said there was "substantial evidence" Paul had been bullied at school. But she recorded an open verdict, saying the hanging, in November 2005, could
have been an accident or a "cry for help".
It's early days
but the interview I'm most looking forward to today (and when I say it's early days - we haven't even phoned the guy yet to ask if he's interested) is with a chap (scientist of some kind) who says fish are smart and have much better memories than people. Apparently some fish have memories of things that happened three years ago! I have so many questions I want to ask.
We got an email today from someone jumping the gun re photos. Naughty! We're not quite ready to announce the thing yet ( legal bits and pieces ) but it will be quite specific, so sending pictures now would be pointless I'm afraid.
But never mind all that. How do you test a fish's memory? I'll be very disappointed if The World at One does with that story what it's just done with our planned lead, and bloody nicked it.
This will probably be
our final postcard. Savour it. Love it. Admire it.
It comes from Dianne Barton who says: "Hi Eddie - thought you might like this - I've left it blank for you to put your own cross".
After the newsletter
and this only really makes sense AFTER the newsletter...
A man comes home to find his wife on the sofa, asking "Hello, darling, do you notice anything different about me today?"
The man looks at his beloved, and can't think what it is - but he tries to bluff it. "You've had your hair done?"
"No."
"You've bought a new dress?"
"No."
"Um, you've had a makeover."
(arms folded...getting more cross...) "No!"
"New shoes?"
"NO!"
By this time the man is beginning to panic and he starts rattling off more and more wild guesses, until eventually, after about five minutes, with nervous sweat pouring off him, he shouts "OK. I give up. WHAT is different about you today?"
The woman says: "I'm wearing a gas mask".
Posh
did my head in, but I can't say any more. She kept shoving me out of shot. It's all in the hands of the lawyers.
In the meantime, Lissa is here and has just been talking to the boss about the weekend moderation problems. We're onto it. I should start keeping a log of the number of times I have to say sorry here..but really - sorry.
Now about our big new exciting thing that we're hoping to formally launch soon. it's clear some people have guessed well, or are close...so let me be blunt....
GOT A CAMERA?
Up very early for my
flight to Italy. Will I see you all there? Posh says to keep an eye on David. Grumpy mood about something...
Remind me another time
to write about Fridays in our office. You've heard of the old Friday cars?
I'm not having a Friday feeling this week because of my absence, opening Parliament on Wednesday.
Hope I don't get up and come in to work tomorrow. I mean - whoever heard of a Saturday PM! Fancy!
And one last thought. It may or may not be coincidence, but my last post appeared almost instantly....are things speeding up for anyone else?
I guess we
brought the emails on ourselves...after all, the newsletter is often riddled with errors. But we really meant Tim and Ms Homes. It was our little joke. I know - your poor aching sides.
Funny sort of a day here really. I arrived this morning to pass the Children In Need TV stage still being put together. At least I assume that's what was causing the sparks. The building is alive with celebs and fun. Unfortunately, I've been sitting here pretty much the whole day, and cannot vouch for that first hand. You may well ask what takes me all day, and I often ask that myself.
I mentioned in the newsletter that I was about to interview a council leader who's just sold off a valuable painting to raise money for essential services. Is that common sense or selling off the family silver, I wondered. Well, we did the interview, at around 2.30, and I think you'll find it engaging.
Our big news, about which people want more hints, is being delayed a little. I said on the show last night that there was a legal problem. Oh BOY is there a legal problem. But we think we can overcome it during next week. As for clues: ever been to a certain commune in Northern France? In the Pas-de-Calais département?
Roberto sends this colourful card from sunny Miami...
Antonio Vidal runs from Nov 25-Jan 7 at the Maxoly Gallery at 1600 SW 8 St. Miami. Shall we all go there? Perhaps from the beach?
A pretty
picture arrives from Derbyshire..
that from John Houlden. Thank you John.
This card simply says: "One loves the blog, Eddie". No name left...
Anne P very kindly wrote some birthday wishes on the back of this:
Silver-fox I also have your card ready to go now...PM...PM?
Your final postcards please!
I have four more cards to post...will try to do them today. If you have a postcard you've been meaning to send...please do it now, as we're going to stop posting them next week. They've been great and it's time to do something even greater.
It's sort of related to the thing mentioned below.
Is Common Agricultural Policy another clue?
Perhaps you're
wondering what the lovely Val was doing in our office yesterday. All will become clear.
Also: I mentioned something on the programme the other night about something all listeners can take part in. Not yet announced...but coming very soon. And here's your first clue:
Flash?
Sequin the Sequel
The Queen's making a speech. Absolutely no connection, but Eddie is away from PM for the day. Shame that, because there is stunning news of this blog's roaraway success. Richard the Blog Wizard tells me that not just have we had 10,000 comments since Eddie started it back in August, but in fact that makes us the first ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ blog to go over 10,000 comments. We are the biggest, the bestest, the most fabulous blog ever says our editor today Roger "the Fox" Sawyer.
Now, you know in films when they step back in time and the screen goes all wavy and misty. Do that in your mind now.
And in the centre of those waves and that mist imagine the face, the lovely face, of Valerie Singleton who, during the eighties, sat in this very presenter's seat . She popped in this morning to visit some of her old friends at PM : That'll bring back some memories I bet. Anyway must dash, got a state opening to attend to.
all the best,
sequin
Afghanistan
will be on our programme tonight, and we'll mention the results of an opinion poll conducted inside the country. If you want to read more - it is.
The newsletter
is late today. We sent it out on time, but it got stuck in a strange fault, which is now being fixed.
Sorry about the wait. I only wish I'd put something interesting in it.
Ten thousand and ten entries
Well done! The question is. Who was the magic person? In truth, we get a running total but have no way of knowing who it was. That's best, isn't it? Sort it out between yourselves.
Stand by for a new beach
In response to an email suggestion (from Liz), and in the light of reports of the beach on Day One crashing computers worldwide, I'm going to start a new thread in a moment, with a new beach. It can never replace the original, but will hopefully offer new delights.
I've chosen this moment because a) I've had no coffee yet and b) at the time of writing, there are 9,953 comments on this blog. You amazing lot. Stand by for a new beach, to mark our 10,000th comment - which I guess will be made...on the new beach.. Thank you.
We're having a small editorial
debate at the moment about a story we're planning to run tonight. It concerns a London West End show (which had an award-winning run at the Edinburgh Festival) entitled: "Pride And Prejudice And Niggas". An advertising company has refused to carry posters for the show, if the N-word remains.
We're talking to the man behind the show tonight. My question for you is: does the word offend you? Would it offend you if you heard it on the radio? Would it matter if I said it or the guest? Does the inclusion of the word on this Blog cause offence?
We'd be interested to know what you think.
Treen
sends this delightful card that makes one want to rush to Seoul with all speed....and including on the back a snap of a sign seen at Incheon Airport. The English translation is one of those poor efforts that was clearly never run past anyone who speaks English: "We sincerely apologise for making you inconvenient.
Valery's final card arrived second post on Friday - although it was her first replacement card.
And this is from Wolf, who took this photo and it can be seen at the National Portrait Gallery...."Shazia Mirza is funny, clever and beautiful..." which is why she is not out of place on this Blog.
I didn't
want a fuss - but thank you.
Nice comments from froggers (I actually typed friggers in error there, sorry) and I don't know WHAT to say to the Gossipmistress for that lovely card. Big Sister sent a wonderful booklet which is hard to describe but brilliantly executed. If I didn't think the technology would defeat me I would try to find a way of posting it. Just brilliant - thank you. it must have taken you ages. We all had a good laugh in the office.
And as for YOU Jonnie.....
Most kind. I am not worthy. But thank you.
Thanks for the emails pointing
out the broken comment link under Valery's postcards. The only way I know to get it to work (and I'm not REALLY sure) is to post another entry. So here it is.
Valery P -
You sent three postcards and so far two have arrived. We're watching the mail like Donald Rumsfelds. This first one is for the Beach - "to keep us amused post Millennium Blog Party?"
While this one features my namesake....thank you Valery
And a card arrives from Kim, inspired, I guess, by an item we trailed but dropped the other day...because of Mr Rumsfeld.
Is Jon Snow right
not to wear the poppy on Channel 4 News? We'll be talking about the story tonight. Wondered if you had a thought...
A postcard and an exclusive photo
RobbieDo graduated from here "many many years ago and that was pointless too":
And below is a picture of me with Clare English in the PM studio, before one of us died. It's taken from the webcam on the night we decided to invite in a special guest for the whole show. Can you tell who it is yet? Clue: he's in the middle...
Kit sends
"Les Biches" by Jean Lecointre..
And Ian Evans in Ebbw Vale writes with this. He listens to PM on one of his 1950s valve sets. Which, curiously, is what we use to broadcast...
Mr Rumsfeld goes...
thoughts?
And we have
two more. Some comments on previous postings complain - rightly - about the odd order these are coming up in. I'm not being cruel. I'm posting them in the order Richard put them in. That way I'm less likely to screw up.
Big Sis says this is "two PM regulars wrestling with the PM frog" (and adds that it's a real postcard)
While Bob Shepherd in Preston sends us something it took him all of ten minutes to complete, and costs £75 million. Whether you can make out the small print, I dunno.
Oh all right. It says "Post Modern Collectors' Item 2048. No Pollocks in the Sea"
Next out of the pile...
Simon who wondered if we are still soliciting postcards...(yes)
and Fifi who wrote: "I may be a 'darling squeeze' but I'm not fat"...
More to follow...and if you want to send a card, write to "The PM Pointless Postcard Blog Thingy, Room G601, ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ News Centre, London, W12 7RJ.
The PM Pointless Postcard Blog Thing
Thanks entirely to Richard, who has done a lot of work for me, here are the first the the cards that have been un-posted for many days now. Won't post them all at once as I know that eats up the entire page.
Fearless Fred says he was in Antwerp to "visit a customer"...
Vyle writes with this snap of the Cabot Tower in Bristol..."if it has a point, it's not clearly visible"
By the way did The Archers
grab any new listeners last night after our handy, cut-out-and-keep guide?
And I have now emailed the very helpful Richard to ask about the photos. Stand by.
Sorry
if things go badly today. Bit of a big night out with Paul Gascoigne.
Just been told that Lissa, who I was relying on to post the postcards for me, is away all week on a first aid course. Could have done with her last night. But - a WEEK? What will she be able to do when she comes back? I anticipate she'll be not only Blog Wizardess, but carrying out face transplants and removing tumours. I suppose that will be handy for those of us who can't really get out of the office during the day.
I'll have another go myself in a while, but thank you for your patience. In the meantime, I've been asked by the editor, Peter something, whether you'd like a gander at his blog. In it, he raises a number of important issues about how we report crime. Please take part, if you feel like it. As you'll see from his blog, he's a lot busier than me, only finding time to post every quarter. So be nice.
The Archers.
Yes, I know there is a blog or two devoted to The Archers, but tonight on the programme we're planning an item for people who never listen to The Archers but might like to start. If it works it will be a handy guide.
If you don't listen - what do you want to know?
And should we do a similar guide tomorrow for people who've never listened to the news?
It's always
amusing to get a couple of emails, as we did last night, about our item discussing dirty bombs. Apparently, we gave so much information, terrorists everywhere would be inspired to hijack their smoke alarms and use the material to blow us all to bits. They would never have thought of it before our programme.
I greatly look forward to the terrorist trial where the conversation between prosecution and defendant would run:
PROSECUTOR: And what was the genesis of your terror plan? Did you travel to a school overseas? Did the war in Iraq push you over the edge? What turned you from a mild-mannered janitor into a perpetrator of mass murder?
DEFENDANT: I was having my tea listening to PM on Radio 4 one evening, when a woman came on describing how to make a dirty bomb. Prior to that, I had no terrorist feelings, and if I had done, I would never have thought of scouring the internet for information on explosives. No, I'm so grateful to the ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ for broadcasting this detailed account of how to maim and kill. As a result, I started paying the licence fee. It really is terrific value. And have you heard the Archers?
JUDGE: Order in court.
I hesitated
before posting this, because it will read like another whiney email about how things don't work. Or more accurately, another whiney email about how I can't get things to work. And goodness knows you've read enough of those in recent weeks.
I tried posting some more postcards over lunchtime - thank you Fifi, Bob, Vyle and RobbieDo, but I can't make it work. The good news is, Lissa has been sprung from her editing duties for a few days. I think she's in tomorrow and we're going to try to lick this once and for all. She's way better at licking things than me.
I interviewed a chap earlier who spent a couple of hours last night trapped, upside down, on a fairground ride that went wrong. I was very interested to know what he thought about all that time, as the blood rushed to his head - and stayed there. He said he just distracted himself. Not sure what I would do. I suspect my life would flash before me. The last time that happened, it was mainly awkward silences.
Today's US blogger
is . The script for his broadcast tonight is already on his blog. So if you don't want to spoil the surprise, don't click till 1800 GMT.
Wonky headphones
mean that Tony Blair's news conference right now is flickering between my left and right ears. Sometimes both, occasionally neither. It's kinda spacey. You should try it.
There are more postcards on my desk: YOU know who you are. Will try to post them sometime soon - but look at the time already! Also, a Christmas card arrives. On the day after Bonfire Night. Did you abandon your bonfire last night after hearing Barry Sheerman on the programme last week?
As a footnote to the previous entry - a lighbulb joke I remember runs:
Q: How many ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ producers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I don't know. What do you think?
People have begun to send in lightbulb jokes..
Here's one for the weekend - Q ' HOW MANY BIRMINGHAM COUNCIL WORKERS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB? A ' INTO WHAT?'
Have a great freezing cold weekend!! Best regards - Baschea Walsh - Surrey
Exciting times for us
here in G601. Tom Cruise has announced that he's taking control of United Artists. Variety.com reports that UA was originally established by Charlie Chaplin, D.W. Griffith, Mary Pickford and Douglas Fairbanks as a studio run by and for artists.
We've been thinking about this, and Carolyn and I are pleased to announced the founding of PA. It will represent us in all matters and will be exciting for all of us. Within weeks, I'm confident, we'll be bouncing on Oprah's couch. or at the very least being interviewed by Jeremy Paxman in a candlelit setting under Bella Emberg's dress.
I've spent the best part of the last 20 minutes trying to upload two new postcards and an old photo I thought you'd like. Keep getting an error message. Even switched it all off and back on, in the vain hope it might help. Sorry about that. Might try again a bit later but you know what Fridays are like.
In the meantime - tonight's US blogger: is .
NEWSLETTER SENT...NEWSLETTER SENT...
Who, if anyone, will get it first?
The ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳: Left wing political organisation, dedicated to hindering progress for Britain.
There's nothing better than someone not QUITE hearing something properly, then firing off an angry email.
After asking on the programme last night for listeners' thoughts on how PM could be summed up in ten words or fewer, for inclusion on the blog, Neil Campbell emailed with the sentiment above. Adding: "P.S. I know this won't be published, but it is undoubtedly true."
Exclusive Blog preview
of tonight's US blog contributor (scheduled for 17.54)...
Lindsay (LJM)
writes with a good question, and a postcard. "What happened to the PM Panel? I sent for details but received nothing and you never mentioned it again". Yes that does sound like us, doesn't it? I'll ask a grown up. The card is about skin problems. It seems only 25% of people never suffer from problem skin.
While a photo arrives from the Gossipmistress which says it was "taken at Gordano Services, M5, Feb 2006. Do they have the same hairdressers? What are they looking at?" She insists this ISN'T a self portrait.
Exciting news...
The newsletter could be back today. I don't want to promise...I mean, we couldn't get the Comment link on the blog entry below to work for goodness sake...but it COULD be back. Our top people have spoken to the top people at the Newsletter Department (there is no such thing really) and it seems there was a catastrophic server problem that no-one told us about. Stand by.
Also, thanks for all the suggestions of straplines. We'll add them to those that came in after the on-air appeal last night and enrich the page once again. New postcards are being scanned as I type, and all is well with the world. Sorry the texting entries below drove some people mad. I thought the discussion on the programme was of interest.
I have a question for you. I don't know the answer which is why I'm asking. Does caffeine raise cholesterol? And did you see Newsnight last night? Why were Kirsty and Madonna creating a fire risk, lighting candles under Bella Emberg's dress?
We know the
comments button seems to be broken - thanks to you if you're among those who emailed. We're trying to get it fixed. Sorry. We're also continuing to work on fixing the broken Newsletter.
To cheer us up I may have a go at a postcard or two...
Bit of this on the programme tonight...
2 b, r nt 2 b dat iz d Q wthr ts noblr n d mnd 2 sufr d slngs & arowz of outrAjs fortn r 2 tAk armz agnst a C f trblz, & by oposn nd em?
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